Checking on 3 year olds before you go to bed.

[Bedsheets4knickers]

In the wake of the tragic case of Mikaeel Kular. Before he was found so many people were saying. "Why did the mother not check on him before she went to bed"
My son is 3 I don't check on him before I go to bed.
Should I be doing so???
It's really knocked me that so many people were so shocked and I've never given it a second thought.
Out daughter is still on a baby monitor she's 1.
I feel like I've neglected him.
Do you all check on your kids before you go to bed.??
What age should I be doing this until??

I don't check either. DC1 is 4 and was a very light sleeper when younger, so would have meant a very disturbed night for everyone if we had checked on him and disturbed him. DC2 who is 2 is the same, it's just not worth it! DC1 wouldn't wake now, but we're not in the routine now of checking, so generally don't, unless he is ill or if I feel the need.

Always check them or get DH to check them. For vomit/breathing/temperature/haven't brought the puppy in with them purposes....
HOWEVER checking a sleeping child before going to bed has nothing whatsoever to do with the outcome in the tragic case currently in the news, just in case that wasn't apparent.

I check both of mine. Eldest is six.

I even put my hand on her chest to check that she's still breathing .

I love looking at them when they're asleep, so peaceful, quiet and angelic. I love them best when they're asleep :o.

Always at that age lifted onto potty for a wee before we went to bed. Saved accidents.

My 4yo still sleeps in our bed mist nights. When she sleeps in her own bed I check on her frequently. Mostly just to remind myself how lucky I am to have a daughter.

I check on my 5 yr old but mainly to put duvet straight, remove books from bed n turn bedside light off. Don't check on 3 yr old as once she wakes, she's in with me for nite so too terrified, but do have a monitor in with her.

I always check on DD before I go to bed. I always have done too - her door is always open, so it wouldn't disturb her to do so. I will drop a kiss on her head and whisper goodnight generally too. She's 11y now.

If I stay over at my parents and head to bed before them - they still say goodnight when they head up too. And I am def not a little one these days!

Checking or not checking had nothing to do with the recent tragic case.

I think we all need to do what we are comfortable doing.

No.

Most days I go in to put washing away, and if it's just me at home I check. Otherwise I won't risk waking them. Definitely not a habitual thing.

We've only checked on DS1 if we think there might be an issue (he's kicked off his duvet, or (in the summer) he's still under his duvet!)

Never do it as a matter of course. I kiss him goodnight at bedtime, we have the monitor on for communication (so he can wake us up during the night to tell us he's wet...) and that's enough for me. He was always a bad sleeper as a baby/toddler (he's 4 now) so we'd never risk waking him by a non-essential check :-)

DS2 is still in our room and I'd love to watch him sleep, but sadly he's usually awake at bedtime.... (7.5 months).

I check. But mostly to see if their duvet has fallen off, they are hanging out of the bed in a funny way.

I check on our dd, both from the making sure she is ok, tucking her in and also for the sheer pleasure of seeing her peaceful.
she is 4 and we do also still have a monitor but we sleep on a different floor so I need to hear if she stirs.

oh and yes seeing their little sleeping faces. Always nice!

I look in on 2yo DS, but it's just to see him looking all peaceful and angelic as he's the embodiment of demolition when awake! I wouldn't say I 'check' on him.

Another who checks nightly on the dc (12, 10, 7 & 4)

Always check before we go to bed. Imagine my surprise to have dd1 (6) wake me on Sunday morning to say she was on her way to have a cuddle with us and noticed the front door was open a bit (dodgy latch), but it was okay, she went done to close it . Dh wen to check his posh laptop was still there. More sensibly I went to check 3 year old dd2 was still there.

I check...mine are 9 and 5. I want to see they're ok...and to cover them back up.

But I have to say, I'm now questioning what I'm checking! It's just a habit I've got into!

I check, but not for safety reasons, just to check duvet is on and to remove stash of books and the nightlight that are invariably stashed literally under DD in bed... She seems to think its comfy!

On a slightly separate note though, one DD is three and, before it was clearly very sinister, lots of comments on newspaper articles etc were saying "a three year old could never open the door" etc... Tbh, I'm pretty sure my three year old could if she really decided to. For instance, I was putting her younger siblings (just a few months old) down for a nap a few days ago, and in that ten mins she'd got pretty far into making an omelette....! Put apron on, got chair from dining room to stand on, got bowl, broken eggs, got frying pan.... Thankfully hadn't got as far as cooking! I'd left her watching Tinkerbell, for ten mins! So yes, if I hadn't double locked the front door (she'd lack the strength for a Chubb lock), I'm pretty sure she could get out in the night without me knowing while I slept.... Horrid thought!!

I also saw lots of nasty comments commenting on a 9pm bedtime. I nannied in my year abroad fit a v posh family in Italy. 9 or later definitely the norm for kids there as they have a long afternoon nap until, well, adulthood!!

DS (6 months) is still in with me so no need to check him. I do check on DD (2) though. she likes to look at her books before going to sleep and normally falls asleep on top of them, or there will be loads of books in the bed with her, so I have to move them.

Also, we always (well not anymore) leave the keys in the lock of our front door, the inside I mean. A few weeks ago DD randomly just went up to the door, turned the key and pulled the handle open! I couldn't believe it. It's so scary as we live in a bungalow and DDs bedroom is next to the front door.

I used to be able to walk into DS's room and crash about putting washing away etc with impunity. He doesn't sleep as deeply nowadays, and DD has always been a lighter sleeper, so I don't tend to go in either of their rooms. Both are upstairs from our room, and DD is right above our room so I wake up if she moves around anyway God she is going to hate that when she is a teenager

Wow 70 responses maybe 3 who like me don't check. Thanks ladies I'm glad I asked I might start nipping my head in the door. He's actually quite a sound sleep until about 3am when 5/7 nights he comes in with me. Could well be he's cold lost his duvet. Might have to change his door handle as it's bloody noisy another reason I've not wanted to disturb him x

I look in on DS who is 6 just to steal a kiss really, although find him in my bed most nights anyway even if I put him to bed and read stories in his own. I thought he would have grown out of that by now, hopefully will soon!

I should definitely encourage the omelette thing legallyblonde. She'll be feeding the family by the time she's ten! Obviously a natural