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Parenting

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Original poster

Checking on 3 year olds before you go to bed.

150 replies

Bedsheets4knickers · 20/01/2014 20:57

In the wake of the tragic case of Mikaeel Kular. Before he was found so many people were saying. "Why did the mother not check on him before she went to bed"
My son is 3 I don't check on him before I go to bed.
Should I be doing so???
It's really knocked me that so many people were so shocked and I've never given it a second thought.
Out daughter is still on a baby monitor she's 1.
I feel like I've neglected him.
Do you all check on your kids before you go to bed.??
What age should I be doing this until??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

wheretoyougonow · 20/01/2014 22:17

Bed sheets - I always like looking at them asleep because they look clean, warm and happy. Makes me feel all warm inside. Try it

PacificDogwood · 20/01/2014 22:19

Bedsheets, get her into grobags or other baby sleeping bag - 'tis the only way.

And yy to early cooking experiences - she sounds fab, worryingly independent, but fab, legallyblonde

bakingtins · 20/01/2014 22:20

I always check my 3 and 7 yr olds, mostly to straighten their duvets and give them a kiss. We have a sort of running joke that we'd "better make sure they are still there" which felt awfully hollow last week, though it now looks like he was never there to be checked

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Beamur · 20/01/2014 22:22

I always have a peep before bedtime, so does DP. DD is a sound sleeper so we don't disturb her. She looks so lovely. If she stirs I just speak very softly and tell her to go back to sleep and she snuggles down. So sweet.

Longdistance · 20/01/2014 22:23

I check on both my dd's 4 and 2.6 before I go to bed. Only just incase they've knocked their duvets or blankets off of them, which happens quite often.

I know if I'm out with friends of an evening dh doesn't check them, as their bedroom lights are still on dim.

DramaAlpaca · 20/01/2014 22:23

I would always look in on mine until they got old enough to close their bedroom doors when they went to bed - I think around their early teens.

I don't know what I was checking for, just habit probably or to make sure they looked warm & comfy so they were less likely to wake us up in the night

With two of them I could potter around their rooms without disturbing them as they were very deep sleepers. DS2, on the other hand, always woke at the slightest thing so there was no putting clothes away or tidying up in his room when he was asleep.

FifiLeBoo · 20/01/2014 22:23

Always check in on mine, aged 18, 15, 8 and 7. It part of my nighttime routine, check doors,check cooker check taps check kids. Can't sleep if I miss a step

AGoodPirate · 20/01/2014 22:27

I check on DD (5) when I go to bed and then a couple of times a night, after feeding the baby. She's often half falling out of the bed or sometimes completely on the floor, so I put her back in and cover her up.

gamerchick · 20/01/2014 22:28

I check on all of mine. The 18 yr old when she's here. The 14 yr old to make sure all his shit is turned off and my youngling. I don't do it it make sure they're still there.. more like they're asleep and settled. Plus my youngest has a habit of puking when ill and just going back to sleep.

I don't believe and didn't believe that that bairn went missing when his mother said he did.

Crazeeladee · 20/01/2014 22:30

I always check on both my dd's (10,5), I like to tuck them in and give them a kiss.

Dollydishus · 20/01/2014 22:33

Dont check on 16yr old but do knock on door and shout goodnight/love you when I'm going to bed. If he didn't answer I'd pop my head round the door to make sure he was ok. Still check on DD who is 13 as she might have dropped off with her earphones in, book on her face, cat on her pillow etc. in which case I chuck cat off bed, unhook earphones and put book away, smooth her hair, kiss forehead, say love you, and pull up covers. DS who is 6 I check on too, pull up duvet, remove lego and toys from floor, remove 20 or so teddies from pillow, and kiss forehead, say love you etc. I mainly do this as I can't sleep unless I know they are all snug and safe.

tantrumtime · 20/01/2014 22:34

I do, it's my favourite way to see my kids, fast asleep :)

mousmous · 20/01/2014 22:34

I do check. just a quick glance.
just for me.

the doors are bolted in the night, dc1 might be able to open them, dc2 no chance. before they got there we would hear the creaking floorboards anyway. and if they are wandering in the night they always just end up in our bed anyway.

Dontlaugh · 20/01/2014 22:36

Gamer, he didn't go when she said, for sure.
Poor little man.
He is at peace, but at far too soon and far too high a price.

fromparistoberlin · 20/01/2014 22:38

erm given she has been accused of murder this is a spurious argument now

she did not fucking check on him, as he was dead already, poor blessed soul

DukeSilver · 20/01/2014 22:40

I always check my 3 year old whenever I walk past her door (one long corridor so a fair few times an evening), before bed and if I get up for the toilet in the night. She is a wriggly deep sleeper so is often out her covers.

OpenMindedSceptic · 20/01/2014 22:41

I do check both DCs (10m and 4y) and give them a kiss.

MostWicked · 20/01/2014 22:45

I still check on my teenagers - I might stop before they leave home!

Fantail · 21/01/2014 06:58

Yes, because DD has a habit of sleeping in odd positions and with no blankets and or clothes on. It is amusing sometimes

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 21/01/2014 07:03

We do this every night. Ours are five and two.

My parents used to check on me when I went to stay with them until I got married if I was in bed before them

HairyPotter · 21/01/2014 07:20

Mine are 15 and 10 and I always kiss them goodnight again before I go to bed. As MostWicked says, I'll probably stop when they leave home.

Ra88 · 21/01/2014 07:26

Always !

Iv even gone to bed thinking I won't check she will be fine , only to get out of bed a minute later "just in case"

I couldn't sleep without checking on her and she is almost 5

TiredFeet · 21/01/2014 07:29

I check on ds (3) at least once in the evening and then when I go to bed, and I also check if I get up in the night for the baby/toilet
Mainly checking to See if he has fallen out/kicked blankets off etc, and also because I like to give him a kiss

However, there is another good reason to check - a couple of months ago he seemed fine when I put him to bed, just a bit of a cold, but when I checked on him a few hours later his breathing was very strange, I called 111 who said we needed and ambulance and when paramedics arrived they gave him a nebuliser and took him straight to a and e and from there he went to the high dependency unit. It was severe bronchiolitis. He is fine now but it really spooked me how ill he became in jus a few hours

Morgause · 21/01/2014 07:29

I used to stick my head around their doors when I went to bed. I didn't go in because they were light sleepers.

They couldn't have left the house before we went to bed without us knowing as they'd have to pass through the living room - open plan house.

Blu · 21/01/2014 07:44

But none of it is really a safety check of any kind is is? It's a goodnight for the parents' benefit. After all surely what most parents of young children are hoping for after this 'checking' is 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep during which they will not be setting their alarms at 2 hour intervals to check anything!

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