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Parenting

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Original poster

Advice with Pooing!!

16 replies

cajohn · 25/07/2006 15:41

Can you advise?

My 31/2 year old son is terrified of doing a poo in the toilet or even a potty at that! When first potty training he used to wee all day and hold in a poo till a night nappy but it is becoming more difficult for him to this. People advised my just go with it poos can take some time it will com eventually but it is taking forever and now even at the stage where it is stopping him from playing as he has to put all his effort into holding in the poo! I have tried everything, sticker charts, bribary (new bike), coming in the loo with me but nothing works he is absolutely terrified!

Can you help in anyway?

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giraffeski · 25/07/2006 15:52

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Original poster

cajohn · 25/07/2006 16:00

Yes I put the nappy on, he poos, then gets it off!

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giraffeski · 25/07/2006 20:26

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WigWamBam · 25/07/2006 20:28

It took nearly 18 months for my dd to conquer her fear of the toilet. Nothing worked - just time and patience.

If he will have a nappy then that's at least better than pooing in his pants. My advice would be to relax and let him ask for a nappy for a poo - make sure you get to him to remove it before he does if you can!

WigWamBam · 25/07/2006 20:29

Dd's fear was only of pooing in the loo - not weeing. My post wasn't really very clear, sorry! It took nearly 18 months after being dry before she would use the loo.

Frizbe · 25/07/2006 20:42

would he poo on a nappy in the potty?

houseworkmum · 26/07/2006 11:55

Cajohn I am having the same problem with my 3.5 DS, he is OK doing wee's on toilet but poo's is another kettle of fish. DS asks for a pull up when he wants to have a poo and normally goes when he get it on. I have tried refusing but he gets himself so worked up to the point of him being sick. I have just resulted in putting up with it as nothing not even bribary or sticker start. As people keep telling me "you don't see 18 years walking around in nappies"!! Good Luck x

Coriander73 · 26/07/2006 14:09

Help, I need some advice too please!

Started potty training DD who is 22.5 months 2 weeks ago - surprisingly has gone better than we thought / expected. Weeing really well, asks for the potty, has been dry at nursery & only a few wee accidents. Pooing..hmm.. we've had two in the potty, the rest in nappies after daytime sleep but has now resorted to talking off her nappy & as DH has just found out has pooed on her mattress! We ask her if she wants a poo she says no & then either does it straight away in nappy or holds it in until nighttime. When she did poo in the potty she looked quite scared about the whole event & wanted me to pick her up straight way & just didn't seem to like what she saw.....we're being calm with her & encouraging her & taking her in with us if either needs a poo to see whether she'll calm down about it but I can't see that happening at present. What do we do if she keeps on removing her nappies for sleeping? (just afternoon not nighttime funnily enough) & is this quite normal behaviour because she loves using the potty for weeing & feels quite proud but the exact opposite for poos!!

Coriander73 · 26/07/2006 20:05

bump

WigWamBam · 26/07/2006 20:22

Weeing and pooing are two completely separate things - being ready to be dry doesn't automatically mean she's ready to be clean. If she isn't aware yet of the physical sensation of either needing a poo or pooing, that might explain her seeming scared of pooing in the potty. She may be telling the truth when she says she doesn't need a poo - if she doesn't recognise the sensation, how would she know?

All you can do is remain calm when you clean up after her - I presume you wouldn't want to go back to nappies again? If she still seems worried about it, maybe you would be happy to let her ask for a nappy for a poo once she knows she wants one. For us that was better than forcing dd to use the toilet for a poo - she got completely hysterical and nothing would persuade her, and she would also hold onto her poo so that she got constipated. She was older than your dd though, and definitely knew when she needed a poo.

With regard to her removing her nappies, some friends of mine resorted to gaffer taping the nappy on so that their son couldn't take it of - it worked for them, despite people raising eyebrows when they heard about it!

Coriander73 · 27/07/2006 13:34

Thanks so much! MIL also suggested we put a nappy into the potty to see whether she'd be happy to poo then...if it works then she says gradually remove it? Yes, we don't want to go back to nappies because the weeing is working really well so I guess like you say just be calm & give her as much time......

WigWamBam · 27/07/2006 13:41

Someone suggested putting a nappy on the potty to me - dd wouldn't go for it, but it's always worth a try.

SOmething else that was recommended to me is to let her sit on the potty wearing a nappy first, until she's happy pooing like that, then cut a hole in the nappy so that she poos into the potty - gradually make the hole bigger and bigger so she still gets the comfort of having the nappy but gets used to the sensation of pooing on the potty. Again it didn't work for my dd, but it might be worth a try for yours. The person who suggested it to me said that her child ended up wearing just the waistband of a nappy for a while!

clairemmcc · 27/07/2006 19:08

My dd was also very scared of her poos. It all started when she did a poo in the bath and saw it floating - she screamed and was very traumatised! After that, I made sure that every time she did a poo in her nappy I would open the nappy after cleaning her up and show her the poo that was in there, giving her lots of praise. At first she started saying 'eww' etc or just crying but now she is very proud of her poos and does them in the potty (well, sometimes anyway!)

Coriander73 · 01/08/2006 19:27

Hello again!

Weeing very well, still apprehensive at pooing. Today though she did say a number of times need poo & sat on potty only to get off after 10 seconds or so. On way back in car this pm she kept saying Mummy poo so I asked her if she'd pooed she said yes & as we were quite close to home thought I'd leave her to feel uncomfortable (thinking it may help?) only to get her out the car seat & there was nothing! So for tea made sure she had lots of fibre etc & she started saying the same thing "poo potty". I even tried reading to her whilst she was on it but she was disinterested,. Question is, are we heading in the right direction? She's in bed now with nappy for the night so I'm expecting an early morning suprise!

cheza · 26/09/2007 10:07

gosh this is so common.. my child used to do poos in the potty and toilet until he became constipated some how and it hurt him so much that since he holds it in and just keeps saying that it hurts...this is very frustrating and is causing himself unnessasary disscomfort by holding it in...any ideas anyone?

Watshire · 26/09/2007 10:58

Mine is doing the same thing - except he is nearly 5 and just started school. We have tried everything from no reaction to shouting and screaming - and everything in between. We are at our wits end and just don't know what to do. Should I take him to the doctors?

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