My better half finds our oldest darling son (DS) extremely annoying - and not just sometimes, at the moment it's constant.
Although I admit he has annoying character traits, it doesn't get to me the way it does to my wife. He has the habit sometimes of smirking or smiling while being told off, which tends to escalate the issue considerably. He's also very spontaneously noisy and playful, and, like many kids of 7 or so, still goes on about toilets and poo, which is trying for us but usually manageable. Usually if you ask him to do something he'll jokingly say he's going to do the opposite; similarly if you ask him to stop doing something he'll joking say he's going to carry on. He rarely stops talking and often questions your commands or gives back chat. He's very bright (his maths and English skills are at least two years ahead of his peers) but in his own little world and usually we have to call his name at least 3 or 4 times before he realizes that someone's talking to him - even if he was engaged in conversation with us a few seconds earlier.
All these things and more add up to daily shouting match between mother and DS before we're even out of the house in the morning.
He's not exactly naughty - certainly not violent, destructive or nasty. There's plenty about him that is great and we are actually very proud of him.
The problem is my wife's way of dealing with this is "it's him, a saint would find him annoying, because this noise is constant and it's not just a one-off." There is a hormonal (I mean PMT) element to the level of anger at any given incident but beneath that lies a lingering resentment at inescapably chasing around after someone whom she feels gives little or nothing in return. She's really lost the feeling of loving him simply because he is our DS. (She still things the 4-year old DS is lovely - as do I) I would be pleased to find her a way to get the perspective she once head of him and still has of our younger DS.
While I too lose my rag with him most weeks - even day after day, I generally manage to hold my composure, I tend to look at the long-term goals for him. I get angry but once I've said my bit I cool down fairly quickly and can keep calm when I talk to him about later about an incident
Not so the Better Half, she steams for a day or two and she is becoming convinced he is channeling the Anti-Christ, and she often feels there is no hope of him changing. Even if he's not there, talking about him or anything that upsets her, starts to upset her again. The problem is slowly affecting their relationship and I worry it'll reach a point of "no return".
Any other Dads experienced this?
Approaching wits' ends at warp speed...