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Original poster

Party etiquette when we don't know the child!

23 replies

milkyjo · 09/09/2013 11:39

DS has been invited to a party from a child he goes to nursery with. The thing is we don't know the child, never met them let alone the parents. DS is only 2.5 so it's a parents stay party. So I'm after some advice really as to whether we decline but when I've asked nursery staff they said they do play together. I wouldn't invite a child I don't know to DS's party. Also I know other children from his group have not been invited so it wasn't an 'invite all from the class' thing.

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orangepudding · 09/09/2013 11:41

Why decline? It's a good way to get to know the child and their parents.

SavoyCabbage · 09/09/2013 11:52

They might be lovely. The parents.

LovesBeingOnHoliday · 09/09/2013 11:54

Probably invited as Tgey see your son at pick up/drop off or tgeir child mentions yours. If you don't want to go dont

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lljkk · 09/09/2013 11:56

How do you get to know children from the nursery if you don't go to social events with them?

CaptainSweatPants · 09/09/2013 11:58

Dont get why you wouldn't want your child to have fun !

QTPie · 09/09/2013 22:54

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

cherrytomato40 · 09/09/2013 23:00

Often working parents, who don't have time to do the whole toddler group thing, just don't get the chance to meet other mums with kids the same age etc, but they still want to give their kids a nice party with friends their own age.

We used to take the DC to nursery parties at that age, they always enjoyed it!

LittleRobots · 09/09/2013 23:05

Why on earth would you decline?

hotncold · 09/09/2013 23:09

This is totally normal!

My DD1 got loads of invitations to parties via pre school when she was three.

I more often than not didn't know the parents, but then got to know them.

As you'll be staying I don't see the issue with you not knowing the parents?

BackforGood · 09/09/2013 23:10

Depends how much time you have free, and also if you are looking to make new friends. Your ds won't know any different, nor will the birthday boy - at 2.5 they tend to play with whoever happens to be there at the time, it's not like splitting up a 6 yr old from their friend.
That said, I often read threads on here that talk about not knowing any other families in the area, or not knowing anyone they are starting school with, etc., so it might be chance to meet another family with similar aged dc that you might just hit it off with. So it's back to the 'time' issue. If you work full time and have little time at home as it is, then you'd probably prefer not to use half a day with people you don't know.

Pachacuti · 09/09/2013 23:10

I've invited plenty of children I don't know to my DCs' parties. It's one of the best ways of finally getting to work out which child is which and to get to meet some of the other parents whose drop off/pick up times don't coincide with ours.

HappyAsASandboy · 10/09/2013 00:10

I agree, totally normal. Our nursery even has a notice board for pinning invitations to so that you can ask your child's key worker who your child plays with and then just pin the invitations up for their parents to collect :) Helps when you don't know the children or their parents!

I think this will happen more and more as they get older. It is unlikely that I'll know all the parents at school, particularly as I work and so won't be doing all of the pick ups/drop offs, yet my children will know all the kids. I am sure I'll panic a bit the first time I drop them at a party and leave, but it wouldn't be fair of me to limit their social lives just because I don't know the parents .

ShakeAndVac · 10/09/2013 10:57

I could see your point if it was a leave the children party at that age, but if parent's stay then why on earth would you decline?!
It's completely normal to invite other children from nursery/school to parties!

CMOTDibbler · 10/09/2013 11:12

I didn't know any of the parents at ds' nursery - if they hadn't come to his parties, he wouldnt have had any as I work ft and we moved areas when he was a baby and I was back at work. I don't know why you wouldnt go tbh

Tailtwister · 10/09/2013 14:33

It's totally normal not to know the birthday child or their parents very well. When your LO starts school will you know each and every child and parent?

If you have time in your schedule I don't really see why you wouldn't go tbh.

Tailtwister · 10/09/2013 14:33

It's totally normal not to know the birthday child or their parents very well. When your LO starts school will you know each and every child and parent?

If you have time in your schedule I don't really see why you wouldn't go tbh.

Tailtwister · 10/09/2013 14:33

It's totally normal not to know the birthday child or their parents very well. When your LO starts school will you know each and every child and parent?

If you have time in your schedule I don't really see why you wouldn't go tbh.

Tailtwister · 10/09/2013 14:33

It's totally normal not to know the birthday child or their parents very well. When your LO starts school will you know each and every child and parent?

If you have time in your schedule I don't really see why you wouldn't go tbh.

Tailtwister · 10/09/2013 14:34

I don't know why that posted multiple times. Sorry.

ShatnersBassoon · 10/09/2013 14:36

It's a couple of hours at a party, they're not asking you to go on a fortnight's holiday with them. What does it matter if you haven't yet met them?

ShatnersBassoon · 10/09/2013 14:36

It's a couple of hours at a party, they're not asking you to go on a fortnight's holiday with them. What does it matter if you haven't yet met them?

squeaver · 10/09/2013 14:39

Really don't understand why on earth you wouldn't go.

stealthsquiggle · 10/09/2013 14:42

Completely normal and very nice of the parents to bother to find out who their DC plays with and to invite them. I would go if I possibly could.

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