Finding my 4yo DD a right pain in the ...

[buffersandbumpers]

DD will be 5 in Nov. She just doesn't seem to be able to speak nicely to me or her brother. Arms get folded, feet get stamped, brothers (3 and 1) get hit/pushed. She's v well behaved for other people but it starts in the morning and doesn't stop til she goes to bed when we always have cuddles and kisses
I work full time (I finish next year tho and she knows this) and have just returned to work after maternity leave with DS2 so there's a full time nanny Mon-Fri I know she's probably just telling me she wants me around...
Anyone got any ideas as to how to deal with her behaviour and get the lovely, well behaved DD back?

This sounds just like the problem a friend of mine had with her DS. Fine with daddy and nanny, but very challenging with mummy. She was away for 12 hours a day and he did want to see more of her. He was an only child but your DD may be competing for attention with her siblings as well. I think you could take her out for treats on her own, without her siblings, so that she feels special. This could be conditional upon good behaviour during the week that both of you agree she can reasonably achieve. I think the eldest of three is more inconvenienced by the arrival of the third child. Yet another one vying for attention which, at the moment, you are not really in a position to give. You must have a very busy household and she might like to slow down a bit! I think it can be too easy to expect the eldest one to fit in with the baby/toddler things that go on in the house without recognising her individual needs. I am sure things will improve. Good luck.

Thanks BlackMogul. Yes, it's a busy house and I do try to give each of them one on one time and we always have a lovely time when we do. It's just the in between bits that are the problem! I'm sure it's just another 'phase' and I'm hoping when I finish work next year things will become more 'normal'.