Which books do you wish you had read before you became a parent?

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Just that really. I read a couple of pregnancy books during the first few weeks and was really disappointed by them (found much of the info a bit fluffy or obvious, e.g. eat five fruit and veg a day and do gentle exercise).

This will be my first baby so I do feel like I should be reading something but I also feel, perhaps very naively, like a lot of things should be instinctive.

Given experience with the pregnancy books I suspect I'm probably more interested in science/developmental based books, though am mainly interested in which books other women actually found genuinely useful!

Can't link as on phone but:
First time parent, good non judgy book.
Your baby week by week, comes into its own once babyhere
Then later I've liked the no cry sleep solution, i would recommend reading before baby arrives.

Or just read the parenting forum!

You're right that some of it is instinctive but i found i needed a reference. Otherwise you can tend to panic at the first bright green poo!

Honestly, not to sound jaded, but I wish I had read fewer books! They really didn't help in any way. Maybe Naomi Stadlen's What Mothers Do, which isn't a baby 'how to' book, but which was calmly encouraging about being a first-time mother adjusting to having a mysterious small baby.

Didn't read any and am glad as I would have thought I was doing it all wrong.

However, I am glad that I had MN to read and ask questions of, especially with bfing.

Thanks for your thoughts all. Will pop down to Waterstones and have a flick through the ones suggested to see which I think would 'suit' me.

noble I'm definitely steering clear of anything that says things must be done in a particular way :)

Second the No Cry Sleep Solution. I also really liked Penelope Leach's Your Baby and Child - it's less about strict rules and guidelines that may not fit for you anyway, and more about explaining from a developmental perspective where a child is at different stages and why, with some gentle tips. Also good for interesting research is a new book Baby Meets World - more about entertainment than guide, but we found it really interesting!

If you're planning to breastfeed: Breastfeeding Made Simple: Seven Natural Laws for Nursing Mothers

I really liked The Wonder Weeks, and I was quite skeptical of everything else. For me it seemed to answer 'why has my child suddenly gone weird?' with a 'probably because of X'; it was quite reassuring.

Later on, Dream Babies is wonderful- not a parenting guide but a history of parenting guides. It made me a lot!

Definitely avoid Gina ford and her routine book. I read it when pregnant, not really knowing much about it, and it totally screwed with my head once DS arrived. I got really upset and thought I was failing cos he would not have a 2 hour sleep every afternoon like Gina said he should. I now know that her book is laughable: newborn babies do whatever they like and you chase around after them trying to keep them happy! You cannot put a baby into a routine (not when they are tiny anyway) a you have to pick up their cues and follow their lead on when they're hungry and when they want to nap - which will probably be at different times every day for the first 6 months or so :-)

Kate Evans, the food of love, it's all about breastfeeding but she also introduces a quite laid back approach to parenting. I read this book before the birth of my second baby and really wish I'd discovered it earlier.

The books I read before y first baby were Gina Ford, contented little baby and Tracey Hogg, baby whisperer, given to me as a gift, both made me think there was a scientific approach to raising babies when in reality they are all different. I could have managed much better if I'd never read either, I thought I must be doing it wrong when my baby just did not conform.

Someone gave me a copy of the jools oliver book while I was pregnant and thought it was awful, a while ago I read the Mel Giedroych books (from here to maternity and going ga ga) and they were fantastic. A much more realistic view of motherhood.