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Parenting

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Original poster

Feel like I'm not meant to go

26 replies

FrenchRuby · 16/08/2013 15:07

Since I applied to uni last year, I've hit pretty much every block on the way. First I had to find and complete a maths gcse in 3 months, which I just about managed.

Then I couldn't find a nursery for my dd and when finally did I got told that dh earns too much for us to get a child care grant (he earns roughly £16k a year... How is that too much??) so I am now having to pay for full nursery out of my student loan along with my course materials (I need expensuve equipment).

Then my student finance messed up and took about 10 times longer to sort out than it should have, I must have phones them at least 6 times for at least an hour a time.

Then I had issues with dds new nursery where they were uncontactable and was unsure if she still had a place. so I spent a good month desperately trying to sort out other arrangements for her, they eventually got back to me and she now has the place but I'm convinced that they're going to over charge us for her first month because dispite me telling them that she will only be in for a couple of days they keep asking me to confirm how many days she'll be in. So I think they'll charge us for every week day.
And now everyone on my course had their welcome packs ages ago and I haven't. I know it's only a small thing but it's after a long list of stuff and I already feel like I'm not good enough to be there so that's worrying me too.
And then I think if this is stressing me out what am I going to be like when I actually get there.
Sorry for my long winded rant!

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varicoseveined · 21/08/2013 16:35

Aw it's so stressful isn't it? Here, have a and . I know it might seem that all is against you but don't get into that way of thinking - try to see the obstacles as something you can overcome against any odds.

What will you be studying? All the best :)

lagoonhaze · 22/08/2013 17:55

Oh sounds like when I started uni!

Did you apply for childcare grant if not do so.

My DP earned more than that and we qualify.

Have you given details of financial obligations such as rent/mortgage contents insurance etc?

Original poster

FrenchRuby · 26/08/2013 13:55

I applied for childcare grant and got told we weren't eligible, he earns just over £16k a year so not really sure how that's too much?? We live with mil and she doesn't charge us rent so maybe that's why? Although I never told them this (they never asked about rent and bills, we just gave mils address as ours) so I'm not sure how that works.

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littleducks · 26/08/2013 14:11

I wouldn't stop just over that but warn you it is unfortunately possibly a taste of things to come.

I went back to Uni and its a roller coaster. Periods of immense stress and so many things crammed in then long breaks with nothing to do. Our welcome packs and things never seemed to be back from the printers on time and info seemed to be dripfed to us making it hard to plan long term ahead.

Finance us a PITA. I have a nhs bursary not an assessed student loan but its a similar story of applying then issues cropping up and having to be sorted out.

aturtlenamedmack · 26/08/2013 14:22

Have you looked into the childcare element of tax credits. My dps job means we aren't entitled to student childcare but we are entitled to tax credit c/c instead.

Original poster

FrenchRuby · 26/08/2013 15:34

I got told because I don't work then we can't get the childcare element of tax credit.

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Original poster

FrenchRuby · 26/08/2013 15:37

I'm so stressed about it all. Because we can't get the childcare grant it means I'm having to pay for DDs nursery with my student loan which means I can only afford for her to go two days a week and DH is having to make sure he has his two days off on the two days that she's not in nursery. (I'm only in uni for 3 days a week but I wanted the whole week covered so I could go in if I needed to but I'll have to settle for 4 days covered). I'm panicking about what happens if DH can't get those days off. It's so stupid, that apparently we're too rich for the child care grant but we can't afford to send her to nursery more than 2 days. It's ridiculous.
Im lucky in that in an emergency MIL will help out (she's already doing the school runs for me) but I don't want to take advantage because she works too.

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Original poster

FrenchRuby · 26/08/2013 15:38

And I'm doing Photography, which I need to buy equipment for throughout the year and it's not cheap. It's all one big stress :(

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ImATotJeSuisUneTot · 26/08/2013 15:39

How many hours does your DP work? It has to be over 28 I think to qualify?

Original poster

FrenchRuby · 26/08/2013 17:03

He works full time

OP posts:

lagoonhaze · 26/08/2013 17:26

I think you cant have applied for all sections. Did you give details of financial obligations?

lagoonhaze · 26/08/2013 17:30

Sorry missed that. You need to apply for adult dependents grant and give details of financial commitments. Our rent is 650 so maybe why we qualify?

lagoonhaze · 26/08/2013 17:32

Also what about parents learning allowance?

Original poster

FrenchRuby · 26/08/2013 18:17

I applied for everything :( I do get the grant as well as loan but it just about covers dds nursery for 2 days a week as well as all the things I need to my course. I can get by its just going to be tight.

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lagoonhaze · 26/08/2013 20:49

I only ask as for some reason I haven't had the same support as in previous years. I think I missed a section so and doing a clerical application too.

I also remember one year PLA hadn't been awarded as they hadn't verified childrens birth certificates on system and once they did it was added.

Perriwinkle9991 · 27/08/2013 07:50

You should be in recipet of tax credits because of his wages and you should be able to get the childcare element of tax credits. It doesn't matter if you don't work.. If its a joint claim then his income Is what counts and is used. I'd ring and check with tax credits because that doesn't sound right

ImATotJeSuisUneTot · 27/08/2013 11:41

I agree with Peri, that's why I asked how much he works. Definitely call. Or use their official online calculator, it's very accurate.

Katkins1 · 27/08/2013 11:48

Hi Frenchruby, I had pretty much the dame issues when I began. I'm in my third year now, and it all worked out fine! You can do it- you have proven that by completing your Maths in 3 months (I failed mine!). Phone your university and ask about welcome packs etc, make sure that they know you need one. Confirm the dates with them for enrolment at the same time- this happens a lot. I've been helping our fresher's this year, some of them are in the dark, too.

SFE are a pain. Fact. Keep on at them.

Apply to your uni funds for childcare- I got £900 towards mine last year.

Good luck!

Original poster

FrenchRuby · 27/08/2013 15:01

Thanks for all your help :) we get child tax credits and working tax. Is that what you mean by the childcare element?

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Original poster

FrenchRuby · 27/08/2013 15:12

I checked the calculator and it said I'm not entitled to Childcare element of tax credits. I really don't understand how we can't get any help at all??

OP posts:

Katkins1 · 27/08/2013 18:32

The calculator won't be correct as you are a student. Its not meant for students, so I suggest that you apply separately. The worst that happens is that that they say no. Also, I only paid for childcare in my first year when I needed it, and I'm a single mum. Don't worry about that bit at all- just have her in childcare the days that you are in. It makes you more productive!

The uni fund is called 'access to learning'; ask the student finance office for a form. Re-apply for the childcare grant. Don't give up.

redexpat · 28/08/2013 12:04

Have you been to your uni to see if they have any scholarships or bursaries for students? They may not be intended specifically for student parents, but that doesn't mean you can't apply.

That all sounds very stressful. When you finish, it will even sweeter x

Original poster

FrenchRuby · 28/08/2013 17:04

I haven't, I will try that thanks! I know once I'm there and in the routine of things I'll be ok. Also a bit worried that dds nursery is a term time nursery only and we don't get half term :/ hoping dh can get those weeks off. I didn't realise how much I had to think about, which is entirely my own fault.

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redexpat · 28/08/2013 21:35

Depending on your subject, you might not have any contact hours that week. Some places have a reading week that sometimes overlaps. There is a lot to think about, and it wouldn't necessarily occurr to everyone tothink of everything. Try not to panic. Universities tend to bend over backwards to help you succeed.

flufftastic · 02/09/2013 21:23

I feel for you, I had epic f* ups just before I started uni.

HB told me I didn't qualify for ANY support even though I was a single parent- (took help from student services to rectify this). Without it I wouldn't have been able to do the course.

I settled my ds into a childminder 2 weeks before the start date. She rang me 2 days before I was due to be in uni to say she had taken another job!! I was furious. So the first week of uni I was battling getting up 5.30, dropping ds to his Nanny's, navigating the long commute, starting the new course (Scary) AND ringing childminder's in my lunch break. It certainly felt like an uphill battle to begin with and I did question whether they were 'sign's not to do the course. Needless to say, I battled through and things ironed themselves out. I have to say, I am much better in a crisis because of all of it! Most logistical problems have a way of working themselves out.

Keep going!

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