my Dcs (10 & 6) have been asking about secrets a lot recently, and when it's ok to pass on a secret. I did the whole 'well, if someone is getting hurt or they are about to get hurt you need to tell a grown-up' talk, but it's still a subject that they are bothered about.
this morning they came back from their Dad's and the youngest said that they had stayed up till 10.30pm the night before. he immediately covered his mouth and said, 'oh, but that's meant to be a SECRET! dad said not to tell you!'
This started another 'secret' conversation between the two of them, with them telling me that Dad often tells them to keep things from me. I remained very non-committal, but I don't know how I should feel about this and I don't know if I should speak to my ex about it. My worry is that the dcs don't seem to feel comfortable with keeping secrets from me and it doesn't seem fair on them. (by the way, I don't believe the secrets are in any way abuse stuff; just stuff like eating junk food or late bedtimes!)
What are your thoughts on this?