Is it ok to leave my baby in the flat alone?

[frissonpink]

Context -

Top floor flat (3 floors up) No lift.

Car is parked someway across the communal car park - space is not right by the back door.

I'm really struggling in this heat recently. Pram has to live in the car because there is a. no space in the flat and b. I can't carry it up 3 flights. The pram is hot to the touch in this weather, as the inside of the car is 45 degrees+. Normally, I leave any shopping I have bought in the car and other half brings it in later.

I reackon it would take approx 5 mins to go and get the stuff, leaving baby in the flat. I wouldn't be able to hear her at all, so not the same as going to the car on a driveway and leaving your front door open.

My mother says I'm being completely paranoid and ridiculous.

Yesterday I struggled with an 18lb baby, a heavy change bag (because I put some of the shopping in it!) and x2 carrier bags. It was 34 degrees and I was literally melting with sweat by the time I got into the flat.

Suggestions anyone?

This is one of those chicken, fox, grain of sand and a boat problems, isn't it...

I think it depends on context - eg baby asleep and transfers to cot is different to baby wide awake, rolling around and chewing away on her toys

Order it while its so hot.

Could you use a sling for the baby then you'd have your hands free for the shopping and only have to make one trip. I can still carry my almost 23lb dd in her mai tei xomfortably.

Do your shopping online make sure they will take it upstairs. Get a lighter pram, or get a sling or backpack. I wouldn't leave the baby alone that far away tbh.

Yes - a sl

Yes - a sling is your friend in these circumstances!

Yep online is the way to go. Plus get a sling and a smaller pram. A Maclaren will fold up easily and am sure would fit in house.

Get a backpack for the shopping or a sling for the baby. Don't leave the baby in the flat alone.

Right, so I'm not being totally precious then, phew.

I'm suffering from rather delayed PND and my mother's viewpoint on all this is just making me feel like I've totally lost all perspective on what's safe/not safe/reasonable etc.

I didn't even think of a backpack, thank you.

Could try a sling, but she's 8 months old and we've never used one with her, so not sure how she would take to it? Any good sling suggestions?

Online shopping is a whole other problem. The last online order (Sainsburys), the guy arrived and proceeded to lay into me about how shit is it that i'm on the 3rd floor and he only gets allocated 6 mins per delivery slot and how the hell is he supposed to get all my shopping all 3 flights of stairs. I nearly cried. I was actually quite proud of myself though for pulling myself together and telling him that if he hadn't whinged at me for 3 of those 6 mins he'd have had plenty of time.

Not an isolated experience though sadly. Tesco delivery men just as rude. Indeed, only ever had one delivery where I didn't get abuse. I'm stressed enough without dealing with shit from delivery ppl :(

personally I wouldn't leave dd that long and I am generally pretty relaxed.

Get heavy items delivered and a nice delivery person will lug them up the stairs for you. Also get a sling as suggested for when you need top up shops or a rucksack might be easier for carrying the shopping rather then bags.

meh, multiple crossed posts there

I would leave her, no problem. She'd be perfectly safe in a playpen/travel cot, she's too small to get out, what could happen?

Clearly against the general consensus but if in her cot I would leave her.

Or leave as many heavy items in the pram as you can to collect later when there is someone else around, and only carry up the perishables and things you need there and then? Agree a backpack is helpful

Occado are very good at carrying in I've found. Or get something like an ergo carrier for DC

I'd get delivery - if a delivery man is abusive to you complain!

A sling like a ringsling might be a good idea, but tbh if you will only be using it to carry shopping upstairs it will be expensive for not much use and your baby is only going to get heavier.

What are the dangers of leaving her in the flat alone for 5 minutes? and can y take precautions against those risks?

She could hurt herself - yes but she could do this if you leave her in a different room. the extra risk here is you wouldn't find out for longer. So, leave her in her cot or somewhere else that she would be very very unlikely to hurt herself in any serious way. Does your monitor get reception in the car park? worth experimenting, it may well do. if so then take the monitor handset with you and voila.

Someone could come into the flat - lock the flat while you are out of it.

You could get locked out - take your key and phone and money

Personally I would take these precautions and do it. but I'm clearly lax...

She got her foot trapped in the cot bars about 2 months ago - she'd had her foot through and then rolled over and couldn't work out what she'd done.

Literally piercing screaming. I ran in from the bedroom and undid her within 30 secs of her doing it.

Following that, we got some safe cot bumpers, those breathable ones. Completely cover all the bars - except for the top one at each end.

Would you believe she has got her foot trapped twice since!?

She's a real little mover. Doesn't keep still. I have a bouncer, but she's not safe in that now left alone, practically takes off in it!

Also have a playpen, but would still have the bars as an issue.

I just want to move to a house - the thought of being here with a toddler and a baby just makes me feel ill!

I would not leave her.

Get DP to do shopping? Or one of you pop out in the evening.

Also hadn't thought of trying to see if the monitor gets reception outside..shall try that thank you :)

I'm no sling expert but when DS was 8 months old, I got a BabaSling. I really liked it and so did he. I did a hip carry, so he was used to being carried like that anyway, it just means you've got your hands free for other stuff.

Or, can you not just leave your shopping at the bottom of the stairs? Take baby up first, but her in her cot, dash back down and grab the shopping. Not ideal as you still leave her but just for not as long.

And complain to Sainsbos about those delivery men. Cheeky feckers!

My worry about leaving the baby in the flat would be forgetting/losing the key - a friend did this when she went out for a smoke and dropped her keys down a drain It took ages to get a locksmith to come and get her back in, luckily she went out at the beginning of the baby's nap so he slept through it.

Complain to Sainsburys and say you'll give them one more chance to send a non-abusive delivery person or you're changing supermarkets and publicising on Mumsnet how rude they are. If they say they will deliver there, that is a good option for you and you shouldn't have to just put up with it OR face lugging it all upstairs yourself.

Do your big shop when your are both there or send your oh!

Do you have an oh? I sometimes leave the non perishable stuff in the car until I can be bothered until dh is home and then I get it in. It just means sorting the bags when you pack at the checkout. Anything for fridge/ freezer or likely to melt comes in, the rest can wait.