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Original poster

Is it ok to leave my baby in the flat alone?

87 replies

frissonpink · 23/07/2013 19:16

Context -

Top floor flat (3 floors up) No lift.

Car is parked someway across the communal car park - space is not right by the back door.

I'm really struggling in this heat recently. Pram has to live in the car because there is a. no space in the flat and b. I can't carry it up 3 flights. The pram is hot to the touch in this weather, as the inside of the car is 45 degrees+. Normally, I leave any shopping I have bought in the car and other half brings it in later.

I reackon it would take approx 5 mins to go and get the stuff, leaving baby in the flat. I wouldn't be able to hear her at all, so not the same as going to the car on a driveway and leaving your front door open.

My mother says I'm being completely paranoid and ridiculous.

Yesterday I struggled with an 18lb baby, a heavy change bag (because I put some of the shopping in it!) and x2 carrier bags. It was 34 degrees and I was literally melting with sweat by the time I got into the flat.

Suggestions anyone?

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WetGrass · 23/07/2013 21:24

Tesco never used to give me trouble re: carrying up stairs. (I did tend to tip - but rarely got the same guy - so I doubt it was connected).

It's def. better to get delivery.

Generally - my third floor stint taught me to menu plan - with a view to pre-stockpiling over weekend.

motownmover · 23/07/2013 21:26

I would not leave her - what happens if you speak to a neighbour or trip or something.

Could you ask a neighbour or friend to keep watch.

I read an interesting and very sad article once about how parents would start with one change - such as running a bath and watching children from the door rather than being very close, and then say running a bath and leaving children in bath and say being in another room, and then say going downstairs and then a disaster would happen. Basically one risk led to another risk etc etc.

I also would not leave a baby in this heat or near a fan by themselves.

mirry2 · 23/07/2013 21:30

Get the delivery to the front door. Leaving the baby to go down three fights of stairs is ok. After all some houses have three flights of stairs in them.

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Levantine · 23/07/2013 21:32

I had similair - I would get a sling, take up perishables and leave heavy stuff in car boot for when DP gets home. I wouldn't leave her - you will get used to doing it, and then one day she will have made a developmental leap that you weren't expecting and get out of the cot or something. I would also be worried about putting my keys down in the flat and locking myself out. Just generally, it doesn't feel right.

KatAndKit · 23/07/2013 21:41

I have similar although without stairs. Where i have to park is not right outside house, it is a few doors down. Sometimes i put toddler in sling and shopping in pram but that doesn't help you with the stairs.
i use a mesh sided travel cot as a playpen for such situations. No issues with the cot bars. It is the same if we are going somewhere and need to take luggage. Toddler in travel cot with play balls in. I take luggage to car. I go back for child. It is easy. To be fair i can see my front door at all times from the car park

Quangle · 23/07/2013 21:52

I had a similar situation - I used to leave DD while I carted shopping up stairs. I figured she was safer in her cot (usually while she was asleep) then being traipsed up and down stairs while I carted heavy shopping up (or conversely, took suitcases etc down before holidays).

Also had to do this when I took the bins out (only allowed to put them out after 10pm and they had to go out just round the corner from the flat so not right outside) and obviously was not going to wake up baby to accompany me on the bin run.

I think it's fine - I was more worried about locking myself out than anything else.

Zipitydooda · 23/07/2013 22:15

You could get evening deliveries and have your dp there as back up if the delivery person complains then you will only need to buy a few items in the day which you could use a backpack for. You could leave changing bag in the car too?

VelmaDaceDinkley · 23/07/2013 22:20

I'd leave her in her cot too.

Original poster
frissonpink · 23/07/2013 22:36

Thanks all for the support.

I think I"m going to invest in a backpack, and just simply do the odd bit of 'topping up' shopping whilst I'm on my own and leave the bigger shops til DH is about! (or continue trying online, but maybe with Tesco instead)

I know realistically the risk is small, but I also worry about say, maybe tripping or getting knocked over whilst baby is upstairs, and no one knows she is there except me. If it happened at the start of the day, she could be 8 hours + without anyone dealing with her :(

Would be a lot easier if we had friends and family living here, but unfortunately, we don't. The other people in the flats are nice, but we barely see them. Can sometimes go months without seeing some of them!

Third floor definitely keeps you fit Grin. Always amazes me actually how many ppl comment on the stairs, when they come to visit! Out of breath just walking themselves up them!!!!

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lola88 · 23/07/2013 22:40

I have a buggy it's a mamas and papas that folds very small, i strap DS in at the bottom of the stairs leave the bottom door open and run up and down, i can hear him if he's really crying from outside and upstairs. I then fold the buggy and carry him in one arm buggy in the other... no need for the gym :)

lola88 · 23/07/2013 22:44

I just read your worried about tripping etc but that could happen inside the house just as easily, infact your likely to be more careful if she's inside alone. If you worry about all the things that could happen your going to be very stressed all the time things could happen yes but if you avoid all the things that could happen you will never go any where or do anything.

Original poster
frissonpink · 23/07/2013 22:46

This is true! I once (pre baby) tripped over the power cable for the laptop, and knocked myself out! Came round in a pool of blood.

The home is very dangerous!

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MummyDuckAndDuckling · 23/07/2013 22:52

What Lola just said. You can't worry about every possible scenario

YoniBottsBumgina · 23/07/2013 22:55

I wouldn't like doing it and I would try to avoid it, but it is safer than trying to juggle everything on the stairs all at once.

If she's in a safe place and you're sure she can't escape then she will be fine.

Online shopping is awesome though but I felt a bit sorry for the driver when we lived on the 3rd floor Blush I didn't realise until after we moved out that some people tip them - I would have done otherwise!

YoniBottsBumgina · 23/07/2013 22:57

Honestly though, if you tripped on the stairs or the way to the car, it's likely that another neighbour or a passerby would see you, neighbour might twig "Oh it's her from number 4, I've heard a baby up there, better make sure it's okay!" and passerby is likely to see buggy/baby stuff in your shopping and assume the same. Plus it's even more unlikely that you'd injure yourself so badly you were unable to speak even if it was a short while before you came round.

YoniBottsBumgina · 23/07/2013 22:59

Or you could get a long range baby monitor to take down with you? Then you'd hear if she was upset. Maybe even a two way!

LackaDAISYcal · 23/07/2013 23:08

I would get DH to do the shopping on his way home from work Grin

omri · 24/07/2013 01:27

I have left my baby playing in the cot with big toys (nothing he can swallow) a good few times. i always bring my phone and keys with me just in case and then literally sprint down to car in the basement. Only do it when really need to. Baby has always been absolutely fine. I've never been gone more than 5 mins. But I'm always absolutely stressed doing it fearing the worst thinking I'm going to open the door and hear him screaming - never have always come in to happy gurgles. But still.

bubblesandsnips · 24/07/2013 02:09

I think you should just use your common sense and do what seems like the best balance of safety for baby and shopping not being a nightmare for you. that is basically just your call. there isn't a right answer.

teacher123 · 24/07/2013 08:56

Do you have a travel cot? They have meshed sides so she wouldn't be able to get stuck, and you could put her in with some squishy toys and leg it up and down the stairs. I leave DS in his playpen to get things in and out of the car (sometimes just outside, or sometimes just around the corner, depending on the parking outside our house).

To be honest I would be more anxious about tripping up the stairs whilst holding baby and all that stuff!

Original poster
frissonpink · 24/07/2013 09:35

Yep. Think we need to get a travel cot.

Made a mistake and spent £80 on a wooden playpen thinking it would be better for her once standing etc that she would be on solid (ish!) ground.

God knows where I'd put a travel cot though!!

OP posts:
teacher123 · 24/07/2013 10:06

You could just stick it up when you actually need it. Once you've got the hang of them they're pretty easy to assemble. Smile

Ocadododo · 25/07/2013 10:40

I can't believe the delivery people are so unhelpful - I think I'd start telling them about your recent birth and the risk of prolapse from carrying - they'll just want to get shifting to shut you up!

Original poster
frissonpink · 25/07/2013 20:56

Ha, good plan!

Oh, They've all been tremendously unhelpful/rude. You would think I'd asked them to climb a mountain.

Quite often I'm a little rude back saying, Well, I manage shopping bags with a 20lb baby AND a change bag, so surely a big strapping bloke like yourself shouldn't be moaning.

Never works though Grin

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Phineyj · 25/07/2013 21:30

We have 22 steps so I feel your pain. I keep the pram wheels in the car and transport DD from house to car in the pram top or use a sling. I also 'stage' stuff in e.g. get it from boot to steps, put DD inside house, fetch bags etc. We get a weekly delivery of fruit and veg from Abel and Cole (they also do baby food and household stuff). They are a little more expensive than the supermarket, but delivery is only 99p no matter how much stuff you get. Their drivers are really nice!