dummy - am I being daft?

[iamci]

ds is 7 weeks old. he's our first and generally very 'good'. our life is very baby led and feel lucky that he doesn't cry a great deal. obviously does cry but not colicky iyswim.

anyway, if he cries I pick him up but this is not an option if I'm driving or particularly practical if I'm walking him somewhere in the pram.sometimes he's fine in pram but today just wanted to be held so wasn't having any of it (nightmare as I was out for day with only pram as car in for mot).

so,in car with mil and crying ds and she suggests, again, a dummy.

I hate the sound of him in distress but wanted to avoid a dummy if possible. ds is ebf and usually falls asleep whilst feeding so probably wouldn't use one to settle for naps - which I got the impression was all they should be used for.

this has ended up very long but suppose my question is:I am being daft for not giving him a dummy to keep him quiet in car/pram? I like all the cooing and 'chatting' when he's not crying!

Absolutely not - it's all down to personal preference - they help in some cases but not in others. We tried one with our dd and she kept spitting it out and sucks her thumb for comfort instead! One less thing to wean her off!

You will have advice coming out of your ears and people seem to assume that whatever worked for them should work for everyone else but in the end you will find your own way with everything and if you don't feel the need to use a dummy then don't

You can try a dummy when he's upset - it doesn't mean he'll have it in all the time. dd1 used dummies a bit when I was desperate (ie traveling and wasn't able to stop and bf) and by a few months she rejected it completely. dd2 occasionally accepts a dummy but again I only offer it when she's upset and picking her up/nursing aren't an option. Sometimes it helps her fall asleep and sometimes she just spits it out. All kids are different so I don't know what it would be like for you but for us it certainly hasn't interfered with happy babble although it also hasn't been a lasting soothing solution.

YANBU to not want him to have a dummy. I was adamant I didn't want to use one and got by fine without for both my boys. IMO babies cry whether they have dummies or not. I do think ebf babies tend to use the breast for comfort and that's fine, it's part of the natural feeding process. Lots of my friends were very wary of their babies 'comfort sucking' and feeding to sleep and used dummies to avoid that situation. Horses for courses I guess.

On the other hand, my SIL used one very successfully with her DS and only gave it to him at nap time. I think he had it up until around 2 and from what I hear it was a fairly painless process to wean him off it.

If you have a "sucky baby" then a dummy is a good idea - I have a thumb sucker and you can't get rid of that as easily as a dummy. But otherwise it isn't worth adding one.

I was a dummy snob with my first. Less so with my second!

The sound of dd crying while I drove was too much to bear plus with reflux etc it was a god send. She loves it. However ds - my first - used one rarely and never got addicted.

I'd definitely wait until he's older anyway. I ebf and never bothered with dummy's for my first 2. DD3 is 5 months and has only recently started using a dummy. She's actually the best tempered of the 3 of them but the dummy's great just for tiding her over for a short time occasionally. Its really up to you though, and even if you do try to introduce one he might not take to it anyway. But like I said, I'd wait for now anyway, prob until at least 12 weeks.

I, like you was adamant I wouldn't use a dummy. The only reason I tried one was because it might lower the risk of SIDS. Sometimes my lo takes it, sometimes she doesn't. Don't sweat the small stuff, just look as it as another tool in your box. Try your little one with one and you will instinctively know if it's right for you both or not.

I, like you was adamant I wouldn't use a dummy. The only reason I tried one was because it might lower the risk of SIDS. Sometimes my lo takes it, sometimes she doesn't. Don't sweat the small stuff, just look as it as another tool in your box. Try your little one with one and you will instinctively know if it's right for you both or not.

thanks so much for all your advice. I might throw one in changing bag (was given some at baby shower) and try him with it if we have another episode in car. it's hard to judge though as sometimes he'll cry for a minute,other times half the journey. we'll see how we get on though. thanks again

breatheslowly - he is a 'sucky baby'. I've wondered if that's why he's putting on so much weight!

DD would suck my little finger when she was tiny and I should have taken the hint and introduced a dummy. She found her thumb after a little while and it is still going strong. You can really tell she sucks her thumb by her teeth.

I mentioned it to my MIL, saying how strange it was that she sucked her thumb as I didn't know anyone who did. Apparently DH sucked his until he was 8!

I also sucked my thumb till I was 8! no obvious effect on my teeth. only effect (which could be entirely coincidental) is that that thumb nail has always been freakishly strong!

I gave my baby a dummy at 3 days old despite planning to wait til feeding was established, it was 4am in hospital, he was comfort sucking on top of feeding almost constantly and I was crying, in pain and exhausted. It just helps him to settle, in fact he was born with a little sore on his arm where he had been sucking in the womb! His feeding is fine.

I figured you don't see many 35 year olds sitting at their desk at work with a dummy so it would probably be fine. He only really wants it when he is sleepy anyway :)