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Original poster

Your opinions on Gina Ford's contented babies and toddlers? how much is tosh?

39 replies

Giraffinalaugh · 10/07/2013 21:40

Just that really. Ive got a 6w old and started reading today as sleep and settling him down is just a nightmare.

A lot of it seemed like obvious normal common sense to me. Some good advice too. Some bits im undecided on and seem a little rigid.

What are your experiences? Have her routines and tips changed any of your lives drastically? Im not sure i want to implement any of them until im decided. But i have a baby who only seems to sleep on my chest and its driving me nuts. Screams so so loud when you take him away.

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PoppadomPreach · 10/07/2013 21:49

I think if you feel strongly that her techniques do not work for you, and your baby is telling you very clearly he wants to sleep on your chest, then you should listen to your baby.

Her techniques, as helpful as they may be for some, did not work for me either.

Original poster
Giraffinalaugh · 10/07/2013 21:53

Im really not comfortable with co sleeping though. The thought of falling asleep with him on me scares the living daylights out of me. I need to do something to gethim to sleep on his own.

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Lion5711 · 10/07/2013 21:55

Yes I agree with the above, your baby is still very young for the harsh routines she suggests. Listen to your babys needs and it will get easier. They work for some but I personally think its too much and went against what my 'inner self' (not a hippy really!) thought!

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pookamoo · 10/07/2013 21:56

4

go careful!

pookamoo · 10/07/2013 21:57

Sorry. At 6 weeks old, on your chest is where your baby needs to be, really. Routines come much, much later.

Nadalsballs · 10/07/2013 21:59

I think some of it is helpful but try not to be too rigid as it can end in disaster. I've had a couple of friends who ended up pretty depressed as their babies wouldn't do what Gina said they should. I've also had friends who never left the house because baby needed to nap etc at certain times.

Having said that, I found some of her advice really helpful, eg re growth spurts.

I also found the baby whisperer solves all your problems quite handy too.

NCforpersonalreasons · 10/07/2013 22:03

Her routines are fabulous..........if you have a baby that falls into line with them.
If not, at a time when you are sleep deprived and often feeling like shit, they make you feel worse, as you see yourself failing at the 'simple' task of putting your baby into a routine.

I was given Gina Ford's book as a new baby gift. I can honestly, hand on heart say that trying to follow that bloody book ruined the early weeks with my first baby.

6 weeks is still so tiny. Your baby is programmed to be with you. I know that doesn't really help, but sometimes it is easier to go with the flow and tackle it when your baby is at an age when they will respond to certain tactics!

Even though you're not comfortable with co-sleeping, it would be wise to look into safe co-sleeping, rather than battling it and falling to sleep on the sofa with your baby - which is far more dangerous than sleeping in a bed ready prepared. (Not saying you have to co-sleep, just that you're better prepared for it in case of sleep deprived nights)

DocMarten · 10/07/2013 22:03

A GF thread Shock

LovelyWeatherForDucks · 10/07/2013 22:04

I found books like that useful for getting an idea of eating / sleeping amounts and patterns, but only after the first 3 or 4 months...up until then 'whatever works' was my approach and by 7 months or so he began to fall into a routine which is coincidentally vaguely gina-esque in terms of eating and nap times. Don't get too worked up about routine yet as it'll only get frustrating when baby inevitably changes every few weeks!

The technique that helped settled my baby when tiny was a combination of the 5 S'S (swaddle, shh, swing, suck, side position) - look up 'happiest baby on the block'.

CharlieBlanche · 10/07/2013 22:05

In my experience GF's routine are about contented Mims rather than babies. I don't mean that as a criticism really just that some Mum's feel better with a set of rules and a rigid structure. It's not really about what's best for babies.

That's not to say it's bad for babies, although it's not the choice we made.

I would say be careful though - the most stressed Mums I knew were following GF. One Mum I know is pretty much still following a very strict routine for her 6 yo child, which never deviates even on special occasions.

krisskross · 10/07/2013 22:05

i am not by any stretch a gina ford routine sort of person. I am also reasonably disorganised. I had a 20 month old DS and a newborn DD. My friend lent me the book (this is 4 years ago) - i ignored pretty much all of it, but i did find some practical tips in it , such as always have your changing bag packed the night before and other similar small, common sense practical things- that are pretty hard to fathom when you are knackered.
ps dont bother buying the potty training in 7 days...!!!!

krisskross · 10/07/2013 22:06

hello up there lovely- we also used happiest baby on the block!!! Youre the first other one ive ever met!

CleverlyConcealed · 10/07/2013 22:12

Hear that klaxon going off at MNHQ??

thedicewoman · 10/07/2013 22:12

I found that the techniques really worked for my 1st, but she already seemed to be in a routine naturally. she was sleeping 7-7 by 8 weeks... my 2nd has been a different kettle of fish, although he has been sleeping 7-7 since about 5 months so not too bad from what I read on here! however, at about 4 weeks I started the GF routines with my 2nd and actually feel that they revolutionised my life at the time!! suddenly my DS Wasn't crying incessantly in the daytime while I was trying to sort out my DD, it helped me get more tuned in to when he need to sleep/feed etc and honestly just made everything 100% easier.

ThreeBeeOneGee · 10/07/2013 22:12

I read her book and thought it sounded ridiculous. I was planning to feed on demand, co-sleep etc. Then had an actual baby who had other ideas. After a few weeks of demand feeding and co-sleeping, he was unhappy and unsettled, and I was confused and had lost confidence.

I started with GF's feeding times and they seemed to work. So we tried the sleeping times. Within a few days DS1 was happier and more settled. I ended up following most of her advice, from blackout blinds to swaddling.

With the second, third and fourth babies, I knew what worked for us as a family and was more confident as a mother. I would say I used about 70% of what she advises.

With four children under 5, including twins, routines were a life-saver and enabled me to get DS1 to school on time even with a two year old with SN and two small babies.

Meglet · 10/07/2013 22:13

I ended up using it by 6 weeks as I was all over the place and DS was miserable. It turned out my maternal instinct was pants and all I needed was a 'how to' guide. Luckily DS suited it literally overnight so it wasn't a hassle to put him in the routines.

I wouldn't force it on a baby if it wasn't working though.

ggirl · 10/07/2013 22:13

Well I used her routines(loosely) , can't remember when I started them with ds (def later than 6weeks)but I have to say they worked a treat with him ,he settled very easily and slept very well.
It was a while ago now (ds is nearly 11) but the things I remember working well were ,not letting him sleep late in the am and putting him straight to bed as soon as there was a sign he was getting tired.

whatsoever · 10/07/2013 22:14

I read the section in Contented Little Baby on expressing schedules when I started expressing when DS was 10 days old. It said 6.45am. I never read any more as the thought of getting up at 6.45am for any reason other than a crying baby when I was a zombie with a newborn appeared absurd to me.

I think some babies love the rigidity of a Fordian regime & some don't, ditto parents.

You have my sympathies, I would not have wanted to co-sleep either, it was absolutely not for me. I couldn't sleep with a baby on me or in bed with me & I'm not a nice person worh no sleep.

If you decide to co-sleep, go for it wholeheartedly but if you really don't want to, you will need to persevere with putting your baby down to sleep. You don't have to go with controlled crying though if it's not for you. We used pick up put down (a Baby Whisperer technique) when DS went from our bedtime/Moses basket in our room to earlier bed time/cot in separate room, and he was happy within a few days. It meant we never left him to cry but did keep putting him down.

Jimmybob · 10/07/2013 22:17

I found it really helpul...as kindling for the fire when we running low...it means you can't have a life if you follow this.

Seriously all the recent work in neuro science is about the importance of the bond between the mother and child in long term brain development...and also lack of appropriate attachment can lead to anxiety in later life. So short term pain for long term gain in my book. It doesn't have you will have a mis behaving child. You baby is just learning to communicate with you as you are with him/her. Being with you helps to regulate their heart beat, blood pressure and breathing & you will miss the cuddles when they get older...

Also it might feel all consumming now but you will look back on this as a magical time that went by in a flash.

So...have I gone on enough...think so Smile

Jimmybob · 10/07/2013 22:17

I meant it doesn't mean... not doesn't have..... a mis behaving older child.

GEM33 · 10/07/2013 22:19

Ncforpersonalreasons i totally agree with you. I got Gina's book and the baby whisperers book in the early weeks and wished I had never read them. i wish I had just read THE FOOD OF LOVE by kate Evans before DD came along then I would have been a lot more relaxed about my parenting skills and did what came naturally and instinctively to me. Instead I worried and cried and drove myself nearly insane that I couldn't stick to Ginas routines. I have 1 friend that stuck to the routine and basically she wouldn't go out for days in order to stick to the schedule.
OP - Do what YOU think you should do and also what you can live with. If you like Gina routine and you can manage it and it helps you cope do it. If you dont agree with her and find you are stressing about what to do when throw the book in the bin!
If i had another baby now I would be so much more relaxed and just go with the flow. By the time you have them in one pattern they change again eg drop a nap or add a feed or have a growth spurt etc.
Im a bit of an attachment theory parent and I reckon you cant beat a sling and co sleeping x

InsanelyBrainDeprived · 10/07/2013 22:22

My first was a classic gf baby right down to feed times, sleep time. Pure coincidence! I'd never read the book then. He fed 6,10,2,6 right on cue and slept thro 10-6 by 8 weeks.

Second child needed constant contact until around 10/11 months.

They are now 3 and 2 and both sleep 12 hours a night with 2 hour afternoon nap.

Go with what suits your baby, eventually you will work out a routine that suits you both. Not helpful when you are sleep deprived I know. Sorry

edam · 10/07/2013 22:27

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BlueSkySunnyDay · 10/07/2013 22:30

Used it with DC1 brilliantly, absolutely no chance with DC2. I think if you try to force an unwilling baby to do it you will make yourself very miserable - if the timings work with your baby it is a great help but I wouldn't follow it religiously.

But sorry can no longer see her name on here without thinking of the (very funny) comment that caused all the trouble Grin I still think of her a SWMNBN (she who must not be named)

Is there a big flashing red light at MN HQ which goes off when one of these threads starts?