I'm sleep deprived, bitter, resentful..

[IcouldstillbeJoseph]

I need to vent.

I'm on my second non-sleeping baby who is now 5 months (DS is 2.5 and poorly and therefore hard work) I haven't had sex with DH in over a year thanks to an awful pregnancy and now I'm too exhausted. We are bickering like a couple of children.

A friend has just had her first baby a few weeks ago and I've just had to endure a sickening converstsuon about what a fucking 'pro' she is at motherhood. How she's fucking ironing muslins, making cakes and cant believe how well her baby sleeps. OH FUCK OFF.

I'm a flabby, haggard old frump. I want to be pleased for her. I would like some decent sleep.

I know I'm a vile person for feeling this way.
Agh.

Thank heaven for being able to post anonymously on here.

Give the DC to pro mum friend and have an afternoon off to yourself.

I hear ya op. dd is 9 mo & only sleeps on or next to me. She's never slept through the night, only slept in her cot about twice & now screams when I put her in there at night. One of my friends had a dc a few months ago & told me how bf is going really well (I found it a nightmare for the first 3 months) & he's going 4-5 hrs bet feeds, even at night. I could have punched something. Garrrr

Forgetfulmog - thank you, thank you.
What gets on my tits more than anything is the inference that she can't really see what "all the fuss is about" and the fact that she's a 'pro' means that somehow, I'm some sort of mothering fuckwit. And if only I was better at it, I too could be ironing muslins blah blah fucking blah

This is me too OP! forgetfulmog we meet again....

Tell her to fuck off.

I feel your painOP I really do!

I put the phone down and stood there shouting at it "oh just fucking fuck off fuck off fuck off" for a good few minutes

My muslins are mouldy....

Spottyteacakes - I think I may love you a little bit

Are we supposed to iron muslins? I don't even iron clothes. Or own any muslins.

May your "friend"'s cakes be burnt and tasteless and her DC2 have reflux*

*except not really because I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

(Am a mum of two awful sleepers.)

I think if you are a complete pro and your house is already immaculate, your DH wants no more blow jobs as he's had 5 already before lunch, your baby is on it's 5th hour of sleep in his Moses basket, you've had a manicure, pedicure and hair cut, and been out for a 7 mile jog to raise money for sick children - then maybe you have nothing else to do than iron your pissing muslins.

It's awful having a crap sleeper, you have my sympathy.

Everyone has different babies, it's daft of your friend not to realise that. Tell her. Tell her how difficult things are for you.

I have spent all the time since DS was born saying how hard it was/is and seen her 'not really getting it'. Now she is blessed with angel child she 'gets it' even less. Grr

I know how you feel (18 month old non sleeper here and fragile relationship with DP)

The stupid old bag 2 doors up loves to tell me what I'm doing wrong. I am very soon, going to tell her to fuck the fucking fuck off.

People SHOULD NEVER be smug or offer unhelpful advice re: children.

Hang in there x

Ds gets clumps of my hair wrapped in his hands from the floor....which reminds me I haven't hoovered for a week.... I did just bake some uneven half sunken amazing chocolate cupcakes though

Bloody hell I'd find something better to do than iron Muslims. I remember congratulating myself with my first because I'd 'cleverly' taught her to sleep through noise by hoovering when she napped. Then DS turned up and I realised that some kids sleep through anything, others don't, nothing I'd done.

Met a mum through nethuns when dd was little, she'd had a great pg, easy homebirth, and her dd was breastfeeding happily and sleeping through at 6 weeks. We didn't meet up again, I needed someone who felt my pain.

Also a good friend seemed to be doing everything after her first, years later she told me how exhausted she was and how she was so desperate for it all to be perfect she'd not really taken time to enjoy her baby, spending every minute cleaning, cooking and trying to be a domestic goddess.

Also, just because her DC is sleeping through now, doesn't mean that will last

I'm not sure ironing Muslims is very kind wonder

I just try to imagine what will happen when amazababy turns 2. But it sucks.

sleep deprivation for you.

I feel your pain :( i had an amazingly easy firstborn so when nightmare troubled sleeper ds arrived 19 months ago my world turned upside down!

Going from a placid, happy, relaxed, eats anything, likes rules and doing as they are told dd to a mental, never sits down, doesn't listen, smacks everyone, licks food onto me, shouts all the time and rarely sleeps ds was not easy and i'm idiot enough to be having dd2 in 7 weeks

Seriously, i feel your pain

With you all the way! People with easy babies are clueless about how tricky the other kind can be. And if they are daft enough to think it's to do with them they deserve a few well chosen 'oh do fuck off's'

Me too OP! (Bitter etc that is)! I am still avoiding the mums I met through a very nice group who were meeting for lunch when our similarly aged babies were a month old. Who can get out of the house for lunchtime with a baby! Not me and DS is 4.5 months now!

And of course, the beauty of it is that giving her DH 5 blow jobs before lunch means that she doesn't then NEED any lunch so she can use that time to colour-coordinate baby's clothes drawers while her DH grunts contentedly into his homebaked frittata. They make it all look so easy don't they! Fuck offee indeedy!

at ironing Muslims

'When pressed, they admitted finding it difficult to make time for all their religious duties'

Her baby is still small and bound to give her sleepless nights sooner or later, or throw terrible tantrums when a bit older or whatever. Great for her that she got off to an easy start but it sure as heck won't be smooth sailing all the time. DC 1 was a terrible sleeper and still occasionally wakes up howling at night. Sleep deprivation sucks! I feel sorry for your friend who thinks it's necessary to iron muslins. Tell her to make a cup of tea and mumsnet instead. She sounds a bit smug tbh but that will pass when her pfb starts teething .