I'm sleep deprived, bitter, resentful..

[IcouldstillbeJoseph]

I need to vent.

I'm on my second non-sleeping baby who is now 5 months (DS is 2.5 and poorly and therefore hard work) I haven't had sex with DH in over a year thanks to an awful pregnancy and now I'm too exhausted. We are bickering like a couple of children.

A friend has just had her first baby a few weeks ago and I've just had to endure a sickening converstsuon about what a fucking 'pro' she is at motherhood. How she's fucking ironing muslins, making cakes and cant believe how well her baby sleeps. OH FUCK OFF.

I'm a flabby, haggard old frump. I want to be pleased for her. I would like some decent sleep.

I know I'm a vile person for feeling this way.
Agh.

Thank heaven for being able to post anonymously on here.

My 32 month old DD2 has slept through on very few nights. We had the opposite of a sleep-regression when for 2 months earlier this year she slept through regularly. Woohoo here comes the full nights' sleep we thought. Nope, short lived change in behaviour and she's back to waking. She's nearly 3 and I can almost count my undisturbed sleep nights.

Teamed with DD1 (4.5) being an owl and virtually impossible to settle before 9-10pm (I do get lie-ins) I'm knackered.

And if one more person tells me that I should get better routines, or make her go to bed etc I might just shout. Reallllllly? All I have to do is a routine huh? Or insist she stays in bed, doesn't turn her lights on or talk to her teddies until 2330. Because I'm obviously too stupid to realise that and too lazy to want to get her to bed and sit down with wine for an evening on my own and get on with my OU study.

I have never ironed a muslin. I have however always got dressed. Before I had DDs I would be happy to spend all day in PJs but now it's my control thing. If we're alive and fed at the end of the day, and I got dressed missed some showers but hey ho then the day was a success.

It'll get better, really, it will!

Muslins? Ironing? Pah! We have a bunch of old flannels in a box under the table. I just throw them in there when they happen to be clean and dry. I'm currently extracting all our clean clothes out of two massive hampers of old laundry. Should put it away sometime but somehow there always seems to be something better to do. Am I a hopeless slattern? Ha!

I would like to scream in to people's faces to just FUCK OFF FUCK OFF quite a lot. Especially people who say that "you just need to be firm with him. Leave him to cry for a few hours, that'll teach him who's boss, it's all your own fault" while smugly holding their zombie easy baby.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK OFF

ooh I'm all ragey now. I used to be such a friendly laid-back person.

Mycat are you me???

Mycat - sometimes while I'm listening to the torrent of similar banal horseshit that gets spouted at baby group I'm busy saying FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF in my head. Whilst smiling and nodding "yes, he's so contented isn't he....yes it must be the new routine..."
Sometimes I think it's just going to take one bad night, one stressful morning with my toddler and I'm just going to start saying it out loud.

Mycat - on the subject, I recently got told by a nursery nurse at clinic this:
NN- "she's learning now that if she cries, you will come to her" (DD was 20 wks"
Me - "well, that's no bad thing is it" (fake smile, dressing DD quickly to get the fuck out of there)
NN - "it is when she's using it to manipulate you"

What?!? At 20 weeks?! Don't babies just cry cos they want something nowadays, you know, like feeding or, shock horror, perhaps a cuddle.

At times like this, I recommend taking the FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF a step further. DH invented the Fuck Off dance for his mother. It involves flicking the Vs, waggling your arse and pulling faces while mouthing (if they're still on the phone) or shouting (if not) FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF.

Of course, this might not go down well at toddler group. But it's very therapeutic.

OP, of all the things I've learned on MN it's Judge not, lest ye be judged. Reassure yourself that she is probably dying inside and her DH will leave her for younger, hippier woman

I definitely do feel a bit like the Hulk at times. One day at a baby group I'm going to proper lose it and start shouting "Hulk, Smash" while crushing shit biscuits underfoot.

I like the sound of a FUCK OFF FUCK OFF dance. Will have to try and come up with one

Sympathies OP. My first was a nightmare for the first few years. When she was about 2 a smug acquaintance, wwho's pfb was about 6 months explained how she was doing everyrhing right and told me I could call on her for advice anytime. She went on to say that she was thinking of writing a book so she could help all the struggling parents out there. She was deadly serious. Smug bitch.

threads like this are why mumsnet keeps me sane.

I figured out that DP get 2 extra hours of sleep every day - that's almost 2 extra days a week. He does a manual job though, so i have sucked it up mostly.

Does not help that DS, already 2.8 is a crap sleeper and fave place to sleep is with me. Will this hell ever end?; I read about 5 year olds still sleeping with their parents......

Can i tell you all a secret? my Ds is 24 in a couple months...he hardly slept as a small child, he's always& still has insomnia. I just lied about it!!

You know those smart arse mums whose babies are great? they will turn into monster children...i promise!

I've got 5dc, 6th due next January- been doing this for bloody decades! Dc4 had reflex etc & i was so sleep deprived i started to hate pregnant ladies- well they couldn't hear their babies cry!

But dc5was quiet i used to forget to feed him...

Its swings & roundabouts - it will all pass, babies grow up at& eventually sleep!

Dc4 had reflux & of course reflexes