Getting home at 6, doing dinner, bath, bed etc - how?!

[PolyesterBride]

Hello.

I work ft and several times a week get back with my two DDs (5 and 3) after 6 pm. Getting dinner ready and getting them to bed in good time is super stressful and I always feel like I'm racing against the clock and doing everything way too late.

Ideally they'd be in bed by 7 but that's just impossible and if I manage lights off by 8 I'm doing really well. But they are just exhausted the next day and I feel really guilty.

Any tips for doing the evening routine quicker? I can't get home any earlier and they don't get a bath every day. I also spend no time just sitting and chatting with them which I really want to do. Instead I'm running around like a headless chicken getting more and more stressed as time ticks away. It's rare that I get from 6 to 8 without shouting. I also leave housework eg washing up till after they've gone to bed.

Am I doing anything wrong? Or does it take other people that long to cook dinner, eat, get ready for bed and read stories?

Thanks!

are they in childcare? could they have there dinner there earlier and then something snacky when you get home at night

They are in nursery / after school club and they do have a snack there so I could do that but I also want to eat so I usually think I may as well cook. Otherwise I've got to cook after they've gone to bed and then that's getting really late after all the getting clothes ready etc. Also sometimes my eldest is at sports or whatever so doesn't always get a snack.

If you can bear it, preparing something the night before to quickly heat up or investing in a slow cooker might help?

Sounds like getting food down them asap as they walk in the door is key.

Batch cooking is your friend - saves a lot of time if you have portions of spag bol/stew etc in the freezer. Also, while that's heating up/the pasta is cooking etc, get them upstairs and showered before they have their dinner. Once stuff is boiling/going around in the microwave, you don't actually have to stand there watching it.

If possible can they have their main meal at school/ nursery? Imo it would be madness to come in at 6pm and then try and cook dinner for yourself and two tired little ones.

I work til 5.30pm 3 days a week and on those days dd has a hot meal at lunchtime and usually a pack lunch at the cms around 4.30pm, then all I have to do is a light supper before bed.

I tend to get in, let dd watch a bit of telly or play quietly while I put my dinner on, then around 6pm will run dd a bath, dd gets into bath and I will eat my dinner whilst listening out for her (I live in a flat so thats quite easy!) then once I've finished eating its normally time for dd to get out of the bath, then I sort her out and out her into bed! Then its time to clear up, sort washing etc and eventually sit down to mn!!

Yes I think that must be the way to go - just cooked spag Bol tonight but only for tonight. Stupid cooking from scratch every night. It's hard to be organised when stressed/tired though.

The other problem is that they just take ages to do anything! There's no way I could give them a bath in the time it takes to cook pasta. I don't know why but everything they do takes a year.

I batch cook everything so that my DD still gets home cooked food without me having to cook from scratch every night. But I find that bath, teeth, story and bed takes at least an hour and I can't seem to do it any faster so I'm in a similar position to you, except I sometimes get in at 7 or later and then my 2 year old isn't in bed till well past 9.

You could be me. Except mine are 2 and 7. And are still awake at 9pm most nights and 10pm some nights. Both still fagging about tonight (20:50). Given up on house work during the week, we've gone into survival mode (still have to see to 2 year old once or more a night).

I'm telling myself its just a phase and sometime before the end of the decade I'll have the chance to turn on the TV on an evening, right ?

I struggled with this too, though have one child 3 yo DS who is starving by 6.30. My 3 option mix
1- I get up at stupid o clock to cook dinner in the morning so it's a heat and eat in be evening.
2- I also batch cook, freeze, pull it into the fridge the night before - heat and eat.
3- throw things into the slow cooker for the night, cooks overnight and it's done. I don't like leaving it on while no one is home.
It is working fine so far only because I make a menu for the week over the weekend, shop accordingly, then cook to plan. It's a bit regimented but I was getting too stressed as hunger and tiredness make my generally jolly toddler into a proper pain in the a**!

I agree, takes an age for DD to do anything - and I don't like to rush her when it's the only time we spend together all day.
If you batch cook once a week for a few weeks you'll soon build up quite a good stock in your freezer.
But my solution has been to resign myself to late bedtimes. Not sure it's the answer but I don't stress about it too much!

Girliefriend do you not give her anything when she gets back? DD2 does have a hot meal at nursery but it is around 11.30 am and then a snack around 3 so I think she does need something when she gets in. DD1 is at school and had hot dinners but again I think it's around midday so quite early. Maybe a quicker snacky type meal would be ok though. Like cheese and apple or beans on toast or something.

By the way, I should add that I'm doing worse than you and I work part time, so I think you are doing extremely well to have your two fed and in bed by 8!

Yes didireally survival mode is what it is!

What can I catch cook apart from bolognaise? (Ignorant)
Not sure i could manage getting up really early to cook dinner!

And yes not stressing about late bedtimes is surely better than getting cross with them night after night.

Thank you everyone tho, v helpful

I collect my 2 year old twins from nursery at 6 several nights a week.

We're home at 6.20 ish and straight in to the kitchen. We talk (and they grizzle) while I make scrambled eggs on toast or equivalent (nothing so long as cooking pasta) and then they eat and we're upstairs by 7 ish (slow eaters and I want them to eat so give them time).

We don't do baths on nursery days unless absolutely necessary (bad nappy rash for eg) and so they're changed and into bed for stories before 7.30. Stories and asleep by about 7.45 which is too late if they have nursery again in the morning as they have to be up at 6am for nursery.

So I guess it nearly an hour and a half for tea and bed with no bath for us :( In my defence, they are two year old twins, so changing two for bed takes a while and refereeing two 2 year olds can make tea time a marathon.

I wouldn't prepare any food in the evening that requires proper cooking, as in peeling, chopping, assembling, letting simmer. Get a repertoire of super quick dinners like scrambled egg, soup, pizza etc and for the rest just reheat. I even preboil and freeze potatoes so that I can whip them into the microwave, mash up etc. I do boil pasta or rice fresh but total prep time is never more than about 15 minutes. Menu planning once a week helps. There are some fantastic time saving tips on the Good Housekeeping boards.

If they've had a hot meal I don't see why something quick wont be as good for them.

I've only had one hot meal today as had dh.

There's no point flogging yourself to produce a hot meal every night.

Batch cooking:

Chilli
Beef stew (add sweet potatoes to make it really yummy)
Curry (beef or chicken)
Chicken stew
Fish pie
Cauliflower cheese (I don't freeze it but it keeps several days in fridge, so make on a Sunday and use on mon/tues)
Roast potatoes (ditto above - make extra on Sunday and use on Monday/Tuesday)

Quick cooking:

Scrambled eggs on toast
Cheese on toast
Beans on toast
Soup and toast
Pasta and any sauce (jar/packet/batch cooked)
Sausages (cut up with scissors and fry is quicker than grilling fat sausages)
Pitta pizza with ham/mushroom/tomato sauce and cheese
Toasted or plain sandwiches

For batch cooking: tomato sauce (I put different veg in each time and use it as an accompaniment for meat etc as well as on pasta), roast chicken, risotto, stews and casseroles, ratatouille. I also freeze portions of cooked fresh veg such as carrots. 20 sec in micrwave snd no washing up.Useful store cupboard items: tuna (add to to ago sauce, mash up with potato to make fish cake or croquettes, etc, couscous (takes 2 minutes to prepare, goes great with any stewy veggie thing).

Add to tomato sauce I meant...

I know how hard this is, and I only do it 2 days a week! In our family we have that fresh filled pasta and sauce once every week, which I know seems tedious but everyone likes it and it only takes 5 minutes to cook! We also have plenty of the eggs on toast type meals listed above.

Are your children old enough to shower sometimes now? Thats a lot quicker than a bath.

It will get easier as your children get older.

Ok. It seems like its all about the cooking. Will have to make a list of quick quick quick meals. Would using paper plates be taking things too far?!

Happy - admiring you doing this with 2 year old twins! Impressive that they are asleep by 7.45 too. Wish mine could be!

Really need to build in a bit of time with them eg to do reading with DD1. Hopefully that can come out of the cooking time.

Do you have a DH? Could you change your hours so you start early and get home early? Do you have to work full time?

My dd has a school dinner I think around 12.30ish and then a pack lunch at the childminders at 4.30pm which typically consists of a sandwich, small bag of crisps/chedders/biscuit, a yogurt and a piece of fruit. She is then not normally hungry again until 6.30pm ish when she might have a piece of toast or some cereal and drink of milk.

I would be worried about her having two hot meals a day tbh as that is quite a bit of food, definitely think their tea could be something on toast, crumpets, fishfingers and beans etc with fruit and a yogurt if they are still hungry before bed.

I'm the same, I agree with everything else about them not always needing a hot meal and batch cooking/ freezing and menu planning. It is the way to go! Also they don't need a bath everyday which leaves time for stories. I rarely do much housework in the week. Fortunatly I have one day off in the week so house is cleaned and laundry done then. i have quick wizz round on a sun night too before the mayhem of the week starts again!

DD1 loves showers but DD2 screams the place down! We only have a bath once or twice in the week but even on non bath days I'm still struggling with time.

Just want it to be calm and a nice bit of time to spend together. Maybe that's asking too much!