Getting home at 6, doing dinner, bath, bed etc - how?!

[PolyesterBride]

Hello.

I work ft and several times a week get back with my two DDs (5 and 3) after 6 pm. Getting dinner ready and getting them to bed in good time is super stressful and I always feel like I'm racing against the clock and doing everything way too late.

Ideally they'd be in bed by 7 but that's just impossible and if I manage lights off by 8 I'm doing really well. But they are just exhausted the next day and I feel really guilty.

Any tips for doing the evening routine quicker? I can't get home any earlier and they don't get a bath every day. I also spend no time just sitting and chatting with them which I really want to do. Instead I'm running around like a headless chicken getting more and more stressed as time ticks away. It's rare that I get from 6 to 8 without shouting. I also leave housework eg washing up till after they've gone to bed.

Am I doing anything wrong? Or does it take other people that long to cook dinner, eat, get ready for bed and read stories?

Thanks!

I aim for a bedtime of between 8 and 9 for my two and a half year old. No way would we manage a 7pm bedtime.

Same here we get in at 6:30 and still have to cook as they only get snacks at nursery. They just don't go to sleep until 8:30 and we eat very quick meals. Mine are 4 and 2. The 2 (nearly 3) year old naps at nursery still which keeps her going and the older one is like the Duracell bunny. They often sleep in on weekends though (win!)

No I don't do housework but just things like washing up, getting clothes off the washing line etc. I am planning on getting a cleaner so that will help with that side of things anyway.

Is it too much food, two hot meals a day? DD1 is really skinny but DD2 is a bit chubby (but only just 3 so still toddler ish).

I collect my two (3.5 years and 1 year) from nursery after 6pm, we usually get in around 6.15. They've had cooked lunch at midday and afternoon tea around 4pm. There's no way I'd even attempt to cook them something! I give the older one a snack plate with things like cheese, ham, cucumber, carrot, hummous bagel, pickles, grapes, a few crisps or mini cheddars etc. Younger one gets a digestive biscuit or piece of bread, cheese, a yoghurt, perhaps a few chopped grapes.

While they scoff that I or DH run the bath if it's bath night. So into bath by 6.30. Little one out of bath and upstairs for milk, story and bed by 6.50 - lights out 7pm. Older one gets to watch CBeebies bedtime story, then upstairs for milk and story - lights out 7.30 (he drives a hard bargain on stories!)

I then cook something for me and DH - stirfry or other quick meal.

Do you really need to cook or could your two have a substantial snack instead?

If its 2 nights a a week, I'd buy supper on the way home one night- one serving of fish and chips between the two of them and one quick meal- pasta parcels or soup and toasties.
How rushed at you in the morning? Could they have a bath pre school the morning after rushed night?

We do this. Lean mean grillin machine is great
In at 7pm this eve, dh ran bath and bathed boys, I grilled some fish (5mins) , steamed some asparagus, microwaved peas, and cut and buttered some tiger bread.
By 7.30pm everyone was eating ( boys already in pjs and clean and wearing bib!)

We mainly eat grilled meat/ fish/ with veg or salad. With some bread/ microwave Tilda rice. Or have omelette or something like bolgnaise if it's prepped and out freezer.

They are usually asleep around 8.30/9pm, and nap 2 hrs a day

Does your youngest still nap? An afternoon nap will mean they aren't as tired until later.

What time do you have to leave in morning? I would leave last possible mInute and therefore left asleep until last minute. 8.30pm-8am is plenty of sleep for a 5 year old.

Make everything ready night before and easy/ quick breakfast. Porridge in fridge Night before will only take 2 mins in microwave, or brioche/ glass of milk and banana .

No DP around in eves, it's just me. We're not quite so rushed in the mornings but they take forever to get dressed etc that we still get up pretty early. Light mornings mean they are waking up around 6.30 anyway. Wish they would sleep at weekends to make up for it - that would be great!

Liking all the food suggestions, thanks everyone.

Ubermumsy you are so quick. If I was in at 6.15 there's no way they could be in the bath by 6.30 having eaten. It takes my two 15 minutes just to get in the house and get their shoes off and just one of them having a wee can take a full 10 minutes! I think we just must have a slow gene.

I've learnt to programme the oven to come on and have jacket potatoes ready as soon as we walk in. It is truly marvellous!

Bath nights: read them a story and get them to brush their teeth when they're in the bath. Stick on some lively fast music for getting into PJs in a rush.

Don't be too hard on yourself OP - this time of year it's hard to get kids to bed, with the lovely light evenings. And the more you chase 'quality time' it just adds to the stress!

I personally like to give a proper hot meal and DD always clears her plate and has pudding, and that's after a hot lunch and afternoon tea in the nursery AND snacks on way home. Also, I have my own main meal in the evening so DD and I eat together.

But an occasional sandwich and not a bath every day sound like good ideas. Some of you get through your bedtime stories very quickly. Ours go on interminably, must crack down!

On my late nights and with dh at work till midnight and a dancing run to fit in I either have slow cooker food ready or do something frozen. I unpack bags whilst its cooking and if I can I do packed lunches then too.
I run bath slowly while we eat then sit on the loo with a coffee whie they bathe.
Then pjs n bed.
It's absolutely exhausting though.

I wish I could programme my oven but its s mystery to me. Can't even set the time when the clocks go back unless by chance pressing of random buttons! Also aren't you worried about getting held up and your house burning down?! Still, jacket potatoes ready and waiting does sound lovely.

Think not worrying so much about the time is important. I really stress about it but all the chivvying just makes it worse.

It helps that both mine are in nappies (yes, including the 3.5 year old ). And I can.chuck the little one into her high chair and shove a biscuit at her while I yank the shoes off the bigger one, turn on the bath taps and then get his snack ready! Things may well slow up the older and more independent they get...

Also, I don't bath every night unless they're visibly filthy, so on non-bath nights it's CBeebies until bedtime. And I do have DH to help most nights. When he's not home I really try not to bath - a good flannelling takes care of most gunge!

And just to add: I'm going to ask my boss if I can reduce my hours to leave 30 mins earlier each night. It would save the manic rush every time!

I think change the official bedtime, you don't met it and feel bad so just change it.

Sort out a plan of quick dinners, mummy guilt kept at bay by doing some batch cooking at the weekend.

Reading to be done on no bath nights.

Our stories go on forever too. They only have one each but they always seem really long. Then they insist on 'lights on time' - which is supposed to be quiet reading but usually ends up being noisy playing. It's only 10 minutes but it all adds up.

Teeth, going to the toilet, all that kind of stuff, takes ages. By the end I'm just going 'come on, hurry up, it's late' over and over.

Meals that feature toast are your friend. Cooking spag bol from scratch at that time of night is barmy. I also often feed the kids pudding (yoghurt etc) while waiting for pasta to cook. Backwards mealtimes doesn't seem to bother them!

That's a good idea, bath say two nights, reading practice with DD1 the other three.

Official bedtime should be 8 pm. Should be doable with quicker dinners. Lights out and quiet by 8.15. That's not bad is it?

We often get in at six (DD1 almost 3 and begging for bed at 7pm) so we run like a well oiled machine.

Dinner on those nights is reheat or grill which I put on and get DD1 changed. She has a medicine at 6.30pm which has to be taken after food and half an hour before bed. Luckily she eats quickly. She sometimes needs bathing but its five min max, luckily DH usually arrives home as we do so we tag team but if he works late DD1 invariably ends up being later to bed. She also still naps during the day. We set timers on our phones to remind us of the time and what needs to be done!

And use pre downloaded episodes of programmes to bribe and coerce DD1 to hurry up!

I feel a bit sad.

I have meals prepared that just need bunging in oven, lasagne, shepherd s pie, fish pie, then straight in, dcs have a bath/reading/chat then we eat in front of tv in pyjamas,not ideal but its only twice a week.

Sad, Exit?

I have a similar routine, everyone in by 6ish. If they are having dinner (though they do get something at after school/nursery) it must be preprepared or very quick like boiled eggs. Cooking must be under 15 mins.

Into bath by 6.30. Stories 6.50- 7.15. Then lights out.

We permit our eldest to read to herself or twice a week to come downstairs for 20 mins to read to one of us.

It's really hard and I'm knackered!

Sweet corn fritters are your friends (assuming everyone likes them). May not be ideal to make if you can't take your eyes off the kids while you cook, in which case they freeze well and microwave OK too. Not gourmet but you can add cheese or ham, and are the perfect medium for ketchup which accounts for 3 of our 5 a day here.

Survival mode. All asleep by 9:55 tonight. Just a phase...