Getting home at 6, doing dinner, bath, bed etc - how?!

[PolyesterBride]

Hello.

I work ft and several times a week get back with my two DDs (5 and 3) after 6 pm. Getting dinner ready and getting them to bed in good time is super stressful and I always feel like I'm racing against the clock and doing everything way too late.

Ideally they'd be in bed by 7 but that's just impossible and if I manage lights off by 8 I'm doing really well. But they are just exhausted the next day and I feel really guilty.

Any tips for doing the evening routine quicker? I can't get home any earlier and they don't get a bath every day. I also spend no time just sitting and chatting with them which I really want to do. Instead I'm running around like a headless chicken getting more and more stressed as time ticks away. It's rare that I get from 6 to 8 without shouting. I also leave housework eg washing up till after they've gone to bed.

Am I doing anything wrong? Or does it take other people that long to cook dinner, eat, get ready for bed and read stories?

Thanks!

Also I use weekends or afternoons when I'm not working to do all the prep. Batch cooking, sorting out clothes for the week/next day. Also as my kids are naturally early risers (all up by 6.20) I get lots done in the morning. Reading and homework is usually a morning job, I even have time for a bit of Lego before school lots of days.

Evenings are hard because everyone is tired.

There's a reason why 'nursery food' (and I realise that you don't have 2 'nursery' age) is very basic. Beans on toast. Egg on toast. Ham and eggs. Jacket potato and beans etc. Really boring (especially if you are eating with the kids) but super fast. Tortellini (from the supermarket - cook in 3 minutes, add ready made pasta sauce or home made stuff you've done before) works a treat with mine too. I don't tend to eat with my kids during the week basically for the reasons we describe but my first only hits reception this September and I think I will feel more of a need to have a combined family tea soon (we do do this at weekends), so I can see that the pressure is different. I often make a fish pie / lasagne / cottage pie at the weekend, which will do two teatimes during the week. Also the microwave is my friend. Veggies can be done in a couple of minutes (I have micro steamers, but frankly a bowl and a little water does the job with most veg - cook for a couple of minutes). Jacket potatoes take about 4-5 (not as yummy as when crispy-skinned from the oven, but the kids certainly don't mind). Also have and use a toasted sandwich maker. I console myself that the children get more 'interesting' food at the weekends!

We only do bath 2-3 times/week (I am frankly gobsmacked how many people - everyone I know in RL - has bath time every single night of the week). No TV unless things are desperate (just slows things down for us).

We tend to be in at 6. Bed by 7. But food is basic. This time of year, cold picnic on rug on lawn.

Bed by 7.30 (7 was a typo/lie)

On work days I get in with the dc (4 & 1) at 6pm and they are usually in bed lights out by 6.45. Ds1 especially is a nightmare if he doesn't get 12 hrs sleep and they're up by 7 so before 7pm is my aim.

This is what I do. In door, ds1 takes his shoes off, ds2 stays in the buggy for 2 mins (he is a crawling destructive whirlwind if let lose ) while I dash to kitchen to put toast on/heat up leftovers/portion of food from the freezer. Put ds2 in high chair, ds1 goes to loo if he needs to (doesn't need me to help). Serve food by 6.10 latest, encourage quick eating, usually done by 6.20-6.25. If ds1 hasn't finished leave him to finish while I take ds2 upstairs to run bath. Ds1 gets himself undressed for bath, get ds2 undressed, both in bath, 5mins max. Out and both dried, in pjs etc. Ds1 then chooses a story while I bf ds2. Then put ds2 in bed and read story to ds1. All done by 6.45ish. Sometimes have to use threats of no story to get ds1 to speed up but they're used to the routine now.

Definitely key is not cooking full meal/having stuff you've already cooked and know they will eat/quick things. They've already had a full hot meal and snacky tea so they don't need a big tea. Also key is having a timetable and trying to stick to it, although it can be a bit stressful I find it's much better than dealing with overtired children particularly by the weekend when they've had 3days in a row of it.

Wow cassell you are really fast! I do encourage fast eating but it doesn't seem to happen. We have to have a 20 minute argument about the fact that they don't like the food first!

Also, my eldest can go to the toilet by herself but she is too scared to go upstairs alone. It does my head in but I have to come with her every single time. The little one still needs help because she's quite small and still learning do sometimes I feel like half the evening is spent taking them to the toilet!

Re batch cooking, I've found there are very few things that don't freeze. I even freeze a celeriac and chickpea stew and it turns out fine. Shepherd's pie, cottage pie, fish pie, pretty much any kind of stew so tagines etc included - it doesn't have to be boring, and you can still taste the herbs. And yes, things on toast. Or anything with eggs (easy way to get a portion of protein in) - omelettes, eggs baked in the oven, scrambled, boiled and mashed up with butter etc. One that I often do is cook fresh filled pasta then just before I drain it shove a bag of spinach in. The spinach wilts as you drain the pasta, then put a knob of blue cheese into the pan with the pasta and spinach and mix it all round. V quick and acceptable to both grown-ups and children.

I'm also a full-time working Mum with a DS7. He has school dinners, I only have to manage getting together a light meal in the evening (soup, sandwich, something on toast, for example). We don't do bath time every night - we tend to do baths or showers twice a week. We usually spend summer evenings playing in the back garden for half an hour after dinner, then it's pyjamas and teeth, and then snuggling in mummy's bed for 15 minutes doing homework or reading together. Then, it's off to bed by 7.30pm (usually) with lights out at 8pm.

There is a lot of info online about setting cookers, it's easy when you know how. I don't worry about fires, its unlikely, plus if the house burns down when we're out, well at least we're not there!

Maybe you need to treat DC to some new bedtime stories, the shorter the better... Or short chapters as 'what happens next' could be incentive to hurry up for bedtime next day...
There is a great Roddy Doyle one about a man stepping in poo.

Also wanted to add, it does get easier. You are in the perfect storm of very mobile but not very independent whilst needing early bedtime. Mine are 6 and 8 now and it's loads easier x

Not sure if they've been mentioned yet but slow cookers are a godsend on the days I work longer hours.

They would love a story about poo!

Thanks everyone for all the tips. Just had a snack tonight and no bath and it was loads better. Just have to get over my fear of not providing a freshly cooked hot meal every night. God I wish I didn't work full time though, that would be the best solution. But that's a whole other thread.

I pick dd up at 6pm, I get home at 640. dd is always hungry when she gets in despite eating at nursery but they have dinner at 430 which is early for her! So she has a light meal when we get in (something on toast, pasta with tomato and veg sauce or porridge). She wants to spend time with me so we usually play a board game or watch a bit of tv plus cuddles! I bath her every other night so not every night is bath night. If she is in bed by 8pm its a victory! I then do the housework washing etc!

I'm ruthless with stories... They only get one if it's late! I get my 2 and 4 yr old DCs back from nursery after 6pm, never cook anything that takes longer than 5-10 mins (usually quick cook pasta or baked beans), a quick dunk (literally) in the bath as mine are always filthy, in bed by 7, lights out by 7.15 at the latest.

I hate bedtimes, I'm usually knackered after work and just want to get it over and done with and have some ASAP! We have lots of stories on days I don't work so I don't feel (too) guilty

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/1405367822/ref=mp_s_a_1_63?qid=1371886843&sr=1-63&pi=SL75

I love this slow cooker book. I make a lot of freezer meals because my husband works away so I have to sort teatime on my own. even bif ds has eaten at childminders I still want something proper and quick.

There is quite a few meat free recipes in there which I found brought change and economic sense! !

Both my dcs are in childcare but they have all their meals at club/nursery. I think its strange your setting doesnt provide this if they are there until 6?

At our nursery they don't provide main meals only snacks and they have xyz they won't heat due to food safety rules. Coupled with one fussy eater and certain things not heating very well anyway this means we usually give them a packed lunch that's cold (sandwiches etc). Which means they really need something hot when they get in. Actually I find it massively annoying but it's a really good nursery otherwise and cheaper because of it.

No way would I be cooking if they got a decent hot meal at nursery.

I think if they're having a good hot meal at lunch time then they don't really need another "proper" hot meal for tea. I would go with scrambled egg/ beans on toast, jacket potato, soups, quick homemade pizza, stir fry, etc for tea. If you can, get yourself a hot meal for lunch so cooking is really at a minimum for tea time. Or make them a packed tea to have at nursery/after school club. I do this for DS as by the time we get in its too late for him to eat tea, he gets too tired and can't be bothered.

They probably don't need a bath every night, and I would try and make a game out of who can get in, washed and out the quickest. DS (20mo) has one every night (only because he's a mucky pup!) but sometimes it's just a quick dunk.

can you place oven in oven with the timer to come on at 5.30 and cook for x minutes then it switches off, I am not in until 6pm 2 days a week and this is what i do also second getting hot meal at school nursery and doing sandwiches toast etc at night

Not read all the above. My fast meal tips are
(1) 3 min angel hair pasta. A meal with whatever - pesto; philadelphia cheese; peas and broad beans (3.5 mins in microwave and done); something from freezer.
(2) rice cooker. Can pre-set it to start 30 mins or 1 hour before you need it. Rice is almost a meal on its own,just add cheese...
(3) the 8 in 1 model of the above sings and dances, i.e. also slow cooks and does grains and things. It can even do rice pudding but you've got to be in for that (but means a dessert whilst you serve scrambled eggs!!).
(4) cereal. Don't knock it.

You need to relax about the exact bedtime - it's stressing you out.

We are usually in just after 6pm 4 nights per week. We have either cooker dinner the night before or have a very quick dinner - things like tuna pasta, fajitas, baked potatoes etc. if I make potatoes one night I try to make enough for the next night too. I do the same with veg too, that way there is very little cooking involved and meals are still healthy.

Dd is usually in her bath around 7 and getting stories by 7.45. I only have one dd though so I'm sure we aren't as busy as you.

Try not to worry too much about an exact bedtime. We changed dd's bedtime to 8pm when I went back to work so that we could eat together and spend a little time together in the evening. She coped fine with this.

Remember if they get into bed a little later it's not the end of the world - better that than you getting stressed out.

Think the key is definitely for you to be more organised with dinners though - I am not very organised but am happy for dd to have quick basic dinners a few nights so its ok.

If I am really late home, we skip bath time and dd jumps in the shower with us in the morning