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Parenting

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Original poster

Sick of being Mary bl##dy Poppins day in and day out

31 replies

mpoppins · 29/05/2006 08:36

OK I have had it...
Ive had it with singing stupid little songs to try and convince her to do things/ distract her

Ive had it with the holding food in her mouth to be spat in the corner of the lounge later..ditto water

Ive had it with the refusal of dinner and then the constant tantrums because of hunger just to refuse the next meal too!

Ive had it with the calm, firm voice "You need to stop kicking you are making pooh fly all over the lounge", "Oh you are very cross arent you, you need to hit the pillow when you are cross not mummy"

Ive had it with putting her in time out about 20 million times a day

Ive had it full stop with being so nice all the time and doing it all the "right" way all the time because it DOESNT BLOODY WORK!!!

Ok thanks feel a little better now.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

helsi · 29/05/2006 08:45

I find that a good hair pull and locking in a dark cupboard with no refreshment for about 3 hours works. It has to be locking of 1 hour for every year of their lives mind you!! The good hairpull has to be near the temple though to maximise effect.

Do you think I will get my own TV show with my helpful tips?

threebob · 29/05/2006 08:49

Go on - shout once and you will realise that doesn't work either!

I find ignoring very useful - pop in her room and have a cup of tea.

Twiglett · 29/05/2006 08:56

stop explaining to her then

just say No kicking and ignore her

No shrieking and ignore her

too many words confuses small kids in my view

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Carmenere · 29/05/2006 09:00

I agree with Twiglet on this, ignoring naughty behaviour is often the best policy (unless they are doing something dangerous of course).

WideWebWitch · 29/05/2006 09:00

You need to turn into Nanny McPhee then :)

Ive had it with singing stupid little songs to try and convince her to do things/ distract her.
STOP DOING IT THEN!

Ive had it with the holding food in her mouth to be spat in the corner of the lounge later..ditto water
DON'T, IF SHE'S HUNGRY, SHE'LL EAT

Ive had it with the refusal of dinner and then the constant tantrums because of hunger just to refuse the next meal too!
TRY TO STAY CALM, DON'T REACT.

Ive had it with the calm, firm voice "You need to stop kicking you are making pooh fly all over the lounge", "Oh you are very cross arent you, you need to hit the pillow when you are cross not mummy"
IT SHE HITS SAY 'NO HITTING' CALMLY AND PUT HER IN THE HALL FOR A MINUTE. HOLD HER DOWN IF NEED BE TO DO HER NAPPY, DH DOES DD LIKE A SHEEP, PINNING HER DOWN AS YOU WOULD A SHEEP WHEN YOU'RE SHEARING IT

Ive had it with putting her in time out about 20 million times a day CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES, DON'T STRESS ABOUT THE SMALL STUFF

Ive had it full stop with being so nice all the time and doing it all the "right" way all the time because it DOESNT BLOODY WORK!!!
IT DOES, BE PERSISTENT. YOU DON'T SAY HER AGE BUT I'M WONDERING IF SHE'S 2 ISH? :
Ok thanks feel a little better now.

moondog · 29/05/2006 09:00

Endorse Twigg's method.
Also shrieking 'Bloody shut up!' and coming on MN (first closing door) for 30 mins works well.

Kids sniff weakness a mile off.
Don't ever bend to/indulge them at such times.
Remind yourself that 'I'm in charge'

WideWebWitch · 29/05/2006 09:02

btw the 'sheep way' sounds barbaric, it isn't I promise, but it does get the job done! dd says 'I want it normal way not sheep way' and if she stays still that's what'll happen.

WideWebWitch · 29/05/2006 09:02

ha ha moondog, yep, agree, they can smell fear!

moondog · 29/05/2006 09:03

lol re sheep fashion

Twiglett · 29/05/2006 09:07

PMSL @ gang of world-weary 2nd and more-time parents visiting this thread with a yeah ignore 'em

I do think the longer I'm a parent the closer my parenting style gets to beign neglect

WideWebWitch · 29/05/2006 09:09

I'm not even benign sometimes Twig

Twiglett · 29/05/2006 09:10

you're just showing off that you can spell it now aint'cha

Original poster

mpoppins · 29/05/2006 09:24

Doing lots of ignoring and bang on about the age she is 23mths, the food thing is not a me putting food in her mouth it is her eating a mouthful, stashing it under her tongue when I ask if she has eaten everything and then spitting it out at a later date in another area. Time out is used for slapping or hitting mummy only but she does this an awful lot, I ignore or distract when possible but if she keeps it up she goes in time out, time out is on the floor behind the couch and takes about 20 minutes of constant replacing her to get her to stay there for 1 1/2 minutes. I do the short simple messages in reality of "hitting hurts, gentle hands" then modeling the calm voice examples were really me making some attempt of humour out of the situation. I do stay really calm at mealtimes when it is refused but when it is usually a couple of hours till the next meal and she is just about beside herself with hunger or whatever else maybe setting her off (tired or what ever) it is ogten a couple of hours filled with tantrums and pointing to the fridge and pantry saying "Ta mum" resulting in a "At dinnertime you cna have more to eat" resulting in her rushing over and whacking me "Me restraining her arms and saying "No hitting, gentle hands" and demonstrating then distracting into something for a nano second until she points to the frideg or pantry and says "TA mum" ad nauseum.

OP posts:

AngelaD · 29/05/2006 09:31

The only thing children grow out of is their shoes, you can't ignore behaviour and expect her to suddenly work out for herself what's acceptable or not. Unfortunately doing what you are doing is the only way. i have a bottle of wine waiting for me most evenings it's the only way !!!

Original poster

mpoppins · 29/05/2006 09:34

OH Hell dont please dont oh please please please dont tell me she wont grow out of it!

Hand me the Bourbon bugger the wine.

OP posts:

colditz · 29/05/2006 09:37

Take her out in the pushchair. She can't hit you from there.

And, and I am aware I may be publicly hung for thins one, I believe that "calm voice" to tell toddlers off does not always work. All they hear is a stream of soothing words. Try snapping "NO" in an angry voice. I don't think it harms them to know when they are really pissing you off.

Unfortunately there is no formula to make them stop this, and for the most part they do stop doing it as long as you make it clear you don't accept it. Eventually.

zippitippitoes · 29/05/2006 09:41

It sounds as though you are having a constant battle all day which is wearing for both of you.

I still think she is young for time out techniques, but if you do use that then ration it to a aprticular behaviour.
It sounds to me as though she is hungry, some children need to eat little but often..it doesn't have to be meal times only, but i would sit her down to eat and take the food away if sahe wonders off.

Aggressive behaviour is an expression of her frustration and inability to tell you what she wants/needs and it can also be a symptom of low blood sugar levels.

When you are fed up put iher in the pushchair and go for a long walk.

monkeytrousers · 29/05/2006 09:41

Teletubbies DVD is a magical tantrum stopper in our house. Your not supposed to I know, but it works so flip that!

LadySherlockofLGJ · 29/05/2006 09:43

I am with Colditz, a sharp no, is a damn sight more effective than a,.... please don't Tarquin.

I always remember the first time I snapped at DS, it worked a treat.

DH was away, DS needed to take AB's, he turned into twisty screamng child from hell.

I heard myself bark, "you have to take them, there is no way around so get over it"

He was just gone two, there is no way he understood the words at two, but he sure as hell understood the tone.

Carmenere · 29/05/2006 09:44

AngelaD I think what myself and others mean when we say ignore her is that inorder to be effective when dealing with a toddler you do need to choose your battles. We are not suggesting that the child is allowed to go feral but that toddlers want attention and learn that bad behaviour gets lots of attention. Ergo ignoring the small stuff teaches the child that it's a waste of time and correcting the big stuff has more of an impact.

sugarfree · 29/05/2006 09:45

Calm is good,but you need to do it at the same time as very stern,I mean it type voice.Also make your face look angry.(I have no trouble with that most days)
Ps.Nobody does 'nice' all the time.So stop trying.

LadySherlockofLGJ · 29/05/2006 09:45

Oh, meant to say he stopped acting up and took the AB's, and did so for the rest of the week without any trouble.

zippitippitoes · 29/05/2006 09:50

also try to give her low GI foods which willl keep her going for longer and give her less sugar highs and lows..it works for adults too!

kitbit · 29/05/2006 12:51

My ds is also going through a maddening food phase...in order to get him to eat I have abandoned mealtimes and he is mostly grazing. I have had the "rod for your own back" comments from MIL of course, however he is eating at the moment so I don't care! We will gently guide him back to mealtimes again once he gets back onto his food properly. In the meantime it means he is more even tempered as he is not hungry at odd times any more. He just seems to have a different food body clock to us so we tried this and it fixed the grumpiness. Might be worth a try even if short term to try and establish an alternative behaviour pattern?

moondog · 29/05/2006 14:33

Yes,I'm a devotee of the short sharp 'No' or 'Stop it now!' school of thought too.
I don't subscribe to the 'Oh please darling,you know that decapitating other little boys makes Mummy sooooo sad don't you angel???' way at all.

My 23 mth is waaaaay too young for time outs or punishments I feel

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