Student Parents Blog

[Domaby]

I'm a part time PhD student in London with two small boys (DS1 is 3 and DS2 is 9 months). I've been asked to write a blog post for a UK newspaper's website (a quality paper!) on the issues faced by student parents.

The areas I wanted to cover are mostly things that I have come up against, such as childcare, the difficulties of securing funding when you are part time, children's illnesses, as well as giving a general sense of what studying is like when you are also in charge of children. I'd also be interested in hearing from international students.

I was hoping that some of you might want to share some of your experiences with me, so that I can give the piece a broader sense and really raise issues that matter to student parents. It would be really great to hear from you - feel free to send me a personal message or post below!

Anyone? Please!

Full time PhD student parent here. DD is 5.

The fact that much learning now seems to require being in front of a computer screen makes it harder. PhD is just typing, typing, typing so it's more difficult to do something useful if you have a rare ten minutes available. On the other hand, it's because I am a parent that I know that I can do something useful even if I only have ten minutes. That's valuable time!

Always at risk of being interrupted makes it difficult to fully settle into work. Hard to get continuous block of four or five productive hours, often need to put study to one side involuntarily; leads to frustration on my part and takes longer to make progress as constantly having to re-start my train of thought that I didn't get to fully work through because of being interrupted.

Most of my fellow students don't have children, but do have partners. So they treat study like a 9 to 5 job and then go home to have evenings off. Because of the school run I study 9.30 til 2.30 then start again at 9 in the evening; no quality time with husband here. It's probably not true, but because I have to split my study time like that it feels like I don't do as much as the other students and am probably over-compensating.

It's just assumed we'll go away to conferences, training etc...means leaving child over night and husband having to deal with school run. My husband has just changed jobs, has taken a considerable pay cut in return for increased flexibility so he can help me out more with this. We have no family in this country at all, we're both from overseas so have to deal with all school run, holidays on our own. Very quiet, timid child means holiday clubs not yet possible, so during school holidays I look after her in the day, then study from 5 in the evening until about 2 or 3 in the morning. Am quite used to 4 or 5 hours sleep.

Hope that helps. Must go study now!

Thanks for the response Stillastruggle! That's exactly the sort of thing I was looking for. It can be so frustrating not being able to sit down for solid blocks of study. I agree on conferences. In my subject (History) it's really important to get seen at conferences and the logistics of going can be an absolute nightmare, even when they're in the UK.

Were you living in the UK before you decided to study or did you move here as a student? I just wondered whether other countries might be more parent-friendly? I know that undergraduate students here can get some child care support, but not postgraduate students.

Also, I would love to hear from anyone else!

I'm a student parent with no partner. Children's sicknesses have been crippling to my studies this year I must say. Hoping to go on to study much more and hoping also that next year will be a lot less stressful! Sorry I don't wish to say a lot. Just that I'm jealous of the student parents with supportive partners!

Thanks Snoopy. I'm sorry to hear that your children have been ill. It must be really hard to fit study around being a lone parent.

I have a fair bit of family support around but I do find it difficult to get DH to understand that in order to get results I do have to sit in the kitchen and read etc and not sit and watch a film. This was difficult in my first year. After my results this year had been easier.

Something positive though is that my DC who are all under the age of 8 really see what I am doing and are developing their desire to learn through my example.

Mixed mama. That's a great idea! Studying and teaching your kids to be good at school through your example! :-)

I'm thinking I'll start a blog when I can get the time to, as well :) I'm having my first baby in January of the second year of my undergrad course. Ideally I'd love to go on to do a masters and maybe an MBA. I love writing interesting essays :D
My boyfriend/baby's dad is an international student, although we're not parents yet we are looking into how our situation will stand with both governments. :)