arrrgh - -please help before I throttle my 2.5 year old!!!

[geekgrrl]

Because he is driving me up the effing wall.
He does not listen to me at all. Has a complete mind of his own. If I say 'NO!' he just shouts at me and carries on regardless.
I put him on the naughty step and he simply doesn't stay there but follows me to whereever I am.
It's really, really, REALLY getting on my nerves big time, this thing of never doing what I ask him to do. He's being a complete anarchist and I don't know how to deal with him.
Oh, and when I p*ss him off (which seems to happen all the time) he hits me - not surprising really as he's ground me down so much I have started to smack him occasionally (terrible I know :( - and it doesn't work at all)
Mercifully he goes to nursery 3 days a week (where, of course, he's a perfect little angel) - but I dread the days he's at home with me. :(

My DS is not as old as yours yet, but I have seen recommended on Mumsnet a book called 1-2-3 Magic. So I have bought it already and have just started reading it. Looks really good and would be really useful for you as your son is the right age (2+). Hope you find a bit of peace soon!

thanks, I've gone and ordered it. Hope it helps...

geekgrrl, i know this sounds so easy and of course you'll be doing it anyway, but the thing to work for me is trying (and it IS trying) to ignore all the stropps.
When i do that and just lavish praise at good times i always found it easier. Also my threat is no T.V. I very rarely use it but when i do i have to follow through.

Good luck.

First I would try and pick my battles. Say no as little as you possibly can, distract etc if he's misbehaving. For things which are regular battles eg getting clothes on, cleaning teeth star charts help - when mine were this age I drew pictures of the activity and they got a star every time they did it nicely.

I think you need a sanction you can enforce with him and I would do two minutes time out. If you want him to stop doing something ask once nicely, once firmly and if he still carries on enforce your sanction - have you got a play pen or travel cot you can stick him in rather than going on the stairs? Or put him in his room and hold the door shut.

I would say no very firmly and go straight to time out for hitting every time it happens and would really try not to smack him - as you have seen he's copying your behaviour.
HTH

thank you Angeliz :) (are you looking forward to your hols? :) )
I wish he'd watch TV TBH - at least I'd get a bit of respite then Sadly he's not interested and would rather drive me crazy.
I think I might be a bit rubbish at making the most of good behaviour - at the moment the focus seems to be on all the bad stuff. Must try harder.

Yes i am! So is dd1 (5) she is marking off the days

Can i hijack for a minute and ask- my dd1 is 15 months old and still has formula, not too keen on cow's milk yet, is the water o.k boiled?

I think it's very hard to focus on the good when they're whinging all the time. My dd2 won't watch T.V either. I wish she would just a little bit!

thanks puddle, lots of good suggestions there. Putting him somewhere we he can't escape sounds good (she says longingly eyeing up the dog's crate ) .

the water is fine, mine all drank it straight from the tap (well, from a glass but you know what I mean..).
Also, theres's no plastic crockery in the house, you might want to pack some plastic cups & plates.

Great , thanks

I started giving my DS treats for being good. No treats for when he had been bad. (Magazine, chocs, stickers). Make sure he knows why he's not allowed a treat. (Hitting you, not doing as he's told etc.)
Calm down, he's begining to realise what winds you up. So if he sees you walk away, maybe he'll follow.

Talk about him to freinds and family as if he is not there. He may listen to what you're saying, and take it in.
Hope this helps.

no new advice, just sympathising. I Heard myself saying to DS (also 2.5) today "I have a human right to put my socks on!" - I can't quite remember, but I think he wanted me to do something else at the time. Then I had to find the correct yellow knife at lunchtime so he could cut his pasta (yellow and blue stripe not OK, yellow spots acceptable)...

no advice, just fellow-feeling. Every day I battle the urge to arrange for ds to have another day's childcare per week. Vocab check at the moment would be 'pasta' 'dead' and 'I Don't Want To' x about 1000.

Lots of sympathy.. I felt exactely the same when DS1 was about 22 months old (and DS2 was jsut 2 months ...).
What helped was :

• Concentrate on praising - a lot.
• Giving a lot of postive attention. I found that was his way to get the attention he was loosing with DS2.
• Whenever, he was behaving, have a plan before hand eg hitting = 2 min in the corridor (That's our naughty corner) and stick to it all the time. The sanction is always the same for one misbehaviour.
• Concentrate on the good times again. Otherwise, I found I was thinking he was a problem child and I was jsut seing the bad times, not the good ones.

Good luck.