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Parenting

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Original poster

Son plays with dolls

42 replies

Stickers · 25/05/2006 14:17

My son is 7 1/2 and is very close to his older sister. When she gets the dolls out he wants to play with her. Even though I dont want him to I let him play because it makes him happy to play with his sisters. His dad on the other hand hates him with dolls & he tells him hes going to tell his friends that he plays with dolls. This makes my son cry & he becomes very unhappy. Its causing arguments & I dont know what to do. Is he too old to play with dolls?

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zippitippitoes · 25/05/2006 14:19

let him play with them..it's a harmless activity isn't it?

motherinferior · 25/05/2006 14:20

What's the problem with playing with dolls?

frumpygrumpy · 25/05/2006 14:23

I'd be really happy that my kids were playing happily together. My older brother and me played Sindy's and Barbies and Action Man together. Maybe you could buy a Prince to be part of the action and then his dad might feel different. I disagree that his dad should make him feel bad about it. It has no bearing on anything and will only give your ds cause to feel ashamed and that he has something to hide. Totally harmless IMO. Let him play.

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MarsLady · 25/05/2006 14:25

Stickers.... doesn't your dp realise that he's being silly. He should be glad that the children get on so well and want to play together. The playing with dolls phase may or may not pass. It's not doing anyone any harm at all.

Your ds sounds gorgeous. I love it when my DS plays with his sisters. Makes me proud of my loving family.

bundle · 25/05/2006 14:33

stickers, why don't you want to let him play with the dolls?

geekgrrl · 25/05/2006 14:35

yeah, what's wrong with a boy playing with dolls? Presumably your dh is not horrified at the thought of your dh becoming a father as an adult?
A lot of pretend play is just 'practising' being an adult.
I find it really weird that someone would be upset about their 7 year old boy playing with dolls. Would he prefer him to run around pretending to gun everyone down?

bluejelly · 25/05/2006 14:37

My brother played sindy's with me for hours when we were young. He is a very macho engineer!

macwoozy · 25/05/2006 14:37

I just don't see the problem, after all alot of boys play with action men, and they're basically just dolls.

Original poster

Stickers · 25/05/2006 14:49

Thanks for all your replies. It really makes me feel good that its not unusual for a boy to play with dolls. He is a very gentle caring boy so it probably makes sense that he wants to play this way. I just thought that at 7 he wouldnt want to play with dolls & in my head I couldnt understand why he wanted to. I will talk this over & try & not make him feel ashamed again.

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Twinkie1 · 25/05/2006 14:54

DS is only 18 months but is obsessed with cooking, running his toy monkey in his pushchair everywhere and playing with his sisters hair and my make up - IMO you have nothing to worry about!!!

frumpygrumpy · 25/05/2006 17:32

Good for you stickers.

hotmama · 25/05/2006 17:38

There is nothing wrong with playing with dolls. My db used to play with my Sindys etc - I used to play with his Meccano (sp?) We are both well adjusted parents!

Don't let your dp give your son a complex - there is nothing wrong with it!

jabberwocky · 25/05/2006 17:44

Tell your dh that they are not dolls, they are action figures! I think it's great that he plays with his sister.

Blu · 25/05/2006 17:49

I don't think it's unusual, Stickers, especially if he has an older sister...and great that they play together. Hope you can talk some reason into yur DH...he's making your DS unhappy needlessly, and could cause a lot of upset by making him feel bad.

Marina · 25/05/2006 17:51

Agree with others that it is nice to see different sex siblings playing together. Mostly it is dd pitching into her big brother's Lego in our house - the younger one tends to want to copy the older IME.
I'd have no problem at all with my ds playing with dolls and you are right to reassure him and hopefully set your partner straight on this issue :)

Xavielli · 25/05/2006 17:51

I have noticed with my son and my nephews that whenever there is a selection of toys to play with, they will always go to the dolls/anything pink, simply because they don't have anything in those colours or the dolls of their own!

Surely if your DS isnt allowed to play with dolls then your DD shouldnt be allowed to play with cars?(for example)

PanicPants · 25/05/2006 17:56

Agree with other posts about buying him a 'special' doll to play with when his big sister plays with her dolls, like an action man type figure.

It's good he's playing with dolls as it facilitates role play and imagination.

Twiglett · 25/05/2006 17:57

action man is a doll so are power rangers and ninja turtles .. they're just marketed as 'action figures'

let him play .. DS plays with dolls too .. so what .. he has a mother and a sister .. why shouldn't he play with female figures?

spidermama · 25/05/2006 18:08

I think you should tell your dh to stop humiliating his son. There's nothing wrong with wanting to play with dolls. It's your dh's hang ups and he'll pass them onto his son and possibly cause misery later.

It's prejudice against boys. No-one would care if a girl liked to play with trucks after all. We must let our sons be who they want to be.

B8 · 25/05/2006 22:02

Trust me- any future partner your son has will thank you! My little boy used to have a doll and a pram. Sadly now he's five and will refuse to have anything to do with pink, let alone dolls! But he's great with his baby sister and I'm firmly convinced that his tenderness was in part learnt from his time dressing/playing/cuddling his "baby". Hope this helps.

edam · 25/05/2006 22:04

Your dh is being a bully. He needs to sort himself out.

FillyjonktheSnibbet · 26/05/2006 08:25

All kids need to able to play with dolls, they are important devlopementally.

Am, frankly, that your dp is trying to humilliate his child. Whatever he is playing with, even guns , to talk to your child like that is not nice. It is bullying.

Wordsmith · 26/05/2006 09:00

Stickers, you said it yourself: "It makes him happy to play with his sisters" - well that's great! I love it when my 2 DSs play together - whatever they play with. They too like playing with dolls - they're Power Rangers dolls but what's the difference?

Tell their dad to get a life. The husband of a friend of mine had similar ideas - he refused to let his then 2-year old son kiss his freinds goodbye at the end of a birthday party (unless they were girls) - he had to shake their hands FGS!!! And when he was being potty trained he wasn't allowed to learn to wee sitting down first - he had to do it standing up.

Moomin · 26/05/2006 09:12

... and we wonder why teenage boys have so many hang-ups and won't talk to anyone about feelings!! DD1's best friend at the moment is a little boy and they love playing babies and dolls togther. His parents have actively encouraged him and have bought him a boy doll (called Mike!) and we bought him a pram for his birthday. He also has loads of other 'boys' toys and non-gender specific ones, although he much prefers playing with the doll when he hand dd1 play toegther. this sounds like your ds when he's playing with his sisters. It's healthy and normal - but your dh's behaviour is not particularly conducive to a healthy attitide. Tell him to get a grip!

puddingz · 26/05/2006 11:44

Hi Stickers, Why not buy a boy doll for ds? TY make brilliant male cloth dolls which you can get on Ebay. You can buy clothes set like footballer kit, fireman's uniform and shorts etc. Ds has now got a female doll as a sister to the boy doll. Every night he cuddles them in his bed. Our mini visitors love playing with them and dressing them up and playing families. Good Luck!

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