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Original poster

Random questions relating to baby No2's arrival....

robin3 · 2006-05-24T14:22:50+00:00

1. Should I get DS1 a dolly so he can have his own baby and tuck them in bed and change nappies etc.? 2. I will only be able to exclusively BF for the first three months as I have to return to work....do you think it's kinder to introduce a dummy as a coping mechanism for the baby when bottles are introduced? I was hoping to try not to have a dummy this time around. 3. Do you think organising some special days out for DS1 post the birth to say Legoland, but with his grandparents, will make him feel special or more pushed out? 4. How soon after the birth should we take DS1 back to nursery? He goes three times a week. Should we wait a couple of weeks and let DS1 be part of the chaos and excitement every day or take him after a couple of days?

15 replies

robin3 · 24/05/2006 15:22

Should I get DS1 a dolly so he can have his own baby and tuck them in bed and change nappies etc.?

I will only be able to exclusively BF for the first three months as I have to return to work....do you think it's kinder to introduce a dummy as a coping mechanism for the baby when bottles are introduced? I was hoping to try not to have a dummy this time around.

Do you think organising some special days out for DS1 post the birth to say Legoland, but with his grandparents, will make him feel special or more pushed out?

How soon after the birth should we take DS1 back to nursery? He goes three times a week. Should we wait a couple of weeks and let DS1 be part of the chaos and excitement every day or take him after a couple of days?

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katzg · 24/05/2006 15:25

how old is ds?

Original poster

robin3 · 24/05/2006 15:26

Sorry...missed that vital piece of info...he'll be 2.5yrs when baby arrives.

OP posts:

bundle · 24/05/2006 15:27

i got dd1 a dolly and a silver football
dummy will depend on whether the new baby wants it (mine didnt' until they were about 8 mths old) - why don't you want to use one?
I'd be cautious, he could feel pushed out.
having said that, routine is good so straight back to nursery (imo) but take new baby for him to show off to his friends & maybe get little treats from new baby when you pick him up.

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bundle · 24/05/2006 15:27

(my dd1 was 2yr 10mths when dd2 was born)

Feistybird · 24/05/2006 15:31

What I did (both dds)

Should I get DS1 a dolly so he can have his own baby and tuck them in bed and change nappies etc.?

My dd1 'breastfed' and babied her soft toys - never dolls, teddies etc.

I will only be able to exclusively BF for the first three months as I have to return to work....do you think it's kinder to introduce a dummy as a coping mechanism for the baby when bottles are introduced? I was hoping to try not to have a dummy this time around.

she was always a natural thumbsucker

Do you think organising some special days out for DS1 post the birth to say Legoland, but with his grandparents, will make him feel special or more pushed out?

didn't have this option ourselves, but I would ask him before organising.

How soon after the birth should we take DS1 back to nursery? He goes three times a week. Should we wait a couple of weeks and let DS1 be part of the chaos and excitement every day or take him after a couple of days?

I kept dd in her normal routine, but picked her up earlier.

They adore eachother now (3 and 5)

katzg · 24/05/2006 15:32

get him a dolly and then also choose something for th new baby to bring him when s/he arrives
let the baby decide
i'd have to say wait and see
DD1 (2 years 9months when DD2 was born) didn't go the day after but went on the weds, but we had to take the new baby with us to show off! she was a very proud big sister.

Original poster

robin3 · 24/05/2006 15:33

My mum gave DS1 his dummy on day 2 when I was lying in a heap so I didn't really get much of an opportunity to think it through. DS1 still has his at night and screams out when he can't find it so if I could I'd rather not start the dependency. I have no other objection to them.

OP posts:

oliveoil · 24/05/2006 15:37

dd1 got a 'present' from dd2 when I got back from the hospital (obviously bought in advance and hidden in the understairs cupboard in readiness).

dd1 had a dummy, dd2 refused one so it can be baby led tbh. She will cope with bottles once you stop b/feeding, will not need a comforter imo.

No, he will want to be with you and newborn (or dd1 did).

Keep to your usual routine, dd1 went to mil for 3 days a week when I worked and I kept this up on maternity and once dd2 arrived. Gives you days when you only have baby to think of.

My two fight like cat and dog however, I think some just do (22 months between mine).

Get yourself a referee's whistle!

zubb · 24/05/2006 15:38

ds1 was 22 months when ds2 arrived, and ds2 was the same age when ds3 arrived so similar ages to your ds. If it helps -

we didn't get them a doll, but they each already had a special teddy bear that they got when they were babies, so we played with that more than we had, doing the whole 'what babies do' thing.
will it just be bottles during the day? I did this and didn't need a dummy.
special days sound good as he'll get lots of attention, maybe your dh / dp can take him out as well.
I kept the boys in teh same routine as they had before, so they were going to the childminder the day after the baby arrived, for us that meant that they weren't disrupted and me and dh had time alone with the new baby.

Original poster

robin3 · 25/05/2006 14:09

Thanks everyone....

Bought a great small dolly from elc with a blue babygrow (keep daddy happy) and a squishy body. Think I might just let him have it now so we can practice changing/cuddling for real baby. Baby is bring DS a toy pirate ship that I was given and has been hidden...reckon that will impress more than doll as the gift on introduction.

Will wait and see re. dummy.
Will ask him about days out and opt Daddy in.
And get him back at nursery as soon as is practical...oh and remember to take baby so he can show them off.

OP posts:

lexiemum · 28/05/2006 18:00

just been through this so shall tell you what happened with us!

Dd1 was 2.5 when dd2 arrived (now 8mths)

Dd1 went off with DH a couple of days before birth to buy a pressie for baby - but tbh don't really think she understood that much. She went to all ante-natal stuff with me and still thinks hospital is where you get babies and nothing else.

whilst I was in labour DD1 spent day with grandparents - went out to zoo and had a great time and really spoilt. came into hosp next day and was a bit shy but they exhanged pressies and had a cuddle. Oh, I made sure that DD2 was in the cot when they got there not in my arms - I gave DD1 cuddle first and showed her her sister.

once home, life followed normal routine - DD1 was upset with the first bout of screaming but settled afterwards. Nappy changing, feeding etc was a pain - had to do both at same time as DD1 was jealous. She also wouldn't share her changing mat but I had a new one anyway so not a big issue.

we didn't do anything overly special with DD1 except for mummy taking her out on a 1:1 at least once at the weekend.

we kept to same toddler grps etc. But I didn't keep up her childminding sessions or playgroup - these all resumed after 3mths. I didn't want her to think I was "abandoning" her in preference for the baby - also couldn't afford it whilst on mat leave.

It took about 3wks for DD1 to adjust to the situation.

we have more of an issue of jealously now (last 2mths) because DD2 is crawling and attempting to walk and obviously has started picking up Dd1's toys. I really do need eyes in the back of my head now!

cece · 28/05/2006 18:05

DD was 2.5 when ds was born:

She played with her dolly a lot so yes. Used a lot of DS newborn nappies in the process.

Never used a dummy with either of mine so not sure I can advise - but neither seemed to need one iyswim.

I didn't do this for dd.

DD continued with her 2 days a week at childminder. Think she enjoyed it - chance to get away from baby and have some me time with cm. Also gives you a bit of a rest!

SabineJ · 28/05/2006 21:33

I didn't do that but DS1 was just 20 months old - not oldenought for proper imaginative play at that time.
Just wait and see if you think that something your baby will need. Don't make a deciso now, you mightbe surprised.
Best special day = some time just with mummy and no baby (Even if it is just reding a story or two)
I did stick to the same routine to avoid too may changes at once. Actually, I was so worried not to be able to cope with both of them on my own, that DS1 was fulltime at nursery for 1.5 moth afer the birth of ds2 (Was just there 2 days otherwise during the start of my maternity leave) Because, you will go back to work quite soo after the birth, I would change as little as pos to his routine. Worked for me because it gave me time with DS2 on my own - very good for bonding and getting used to deal with 2 sets of demands at the same time.

Bozza · 28/05/2006 21:50

Yes get the dolly.

Wait and see about dummy. Neither of mine had dummy, both were exclusively breastfed and then mixed fed from when I had to go back to work. See what baby is like.

Maybe organise special day out with grandparents before baby is born, give you a break and make him feel special. Then get grandparents (presumably they are willing) to take baby out for walk etc while you spend time with DS.

Keep nursery routine as is. When DD was born I kept DS in his 3 day a week nursery routine. And I think it was for the best. I could get most of the housework done on those days and then on the days when I had both children I could just concentrate on the two of them.

WestCountryLass · 28/05/2006 22:03

If you want to but when we had our DD, DS was 2.9 and he hates dollys (still does), we got him a Thomas scooter and he was happier about that

As far as dummys go, I think some babies need them and some don't so I would play that one by ear.

We didn't do anything special, I think it is how you handle everything as a whole.

I kept everything the same, took DS (and DD) to playgroup 2 days later! I think if you can, keep things the same otherwise when things revert back to normal a few days/weeks later all hell could break loose, imo.

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