Further freakingly fantabulous adventures of the 40+ Mummies Part 2

[blueblackdye]

Our 2nd thread is full but it won't prevent us from laughing, moaning, keeping on supporting each other, sharing and chatting over our new life with 1 or 2, even 5 children !
Here you go, fantastic 40+ Mums, a brand new thread for all of us, old friends from the pregnancy thread or new joiners

Welcome back pudding. Really sorry you've had a tough time You are not the only one so please feel able to chat about it. If you want! Or not. Hope you'll be back soon.

Scarecrow I'm really no expert on bottles but can only share my experiences. DD used to be ok taking a bottle but then refused after an absence of bottles for a few months. When she was 5mo I bought a size 4 fast flow teat in the hope that would help her get the hang of it, and it worked reasonably well. Also been trying to get her to take water at mealtimes and found the Ikea green/white sippy cup worked quite well (where other cups had failed).

As for amounts, when DD goes to nursery next week, I'm going to take 100ml of EBM in a bottle and see how she gets on with that (have no idea how much she normally feeds at one sitting, but if she can neck 100ml from a bottle I will be pleased!) I've got quite a pile of it in the freezer as thought there may come a day when she will be at nursery before she's fully weaned.

Hello Pudding sorry to hear you've not been feeling great of late. I don't know you personally, but do know we had fairly similar births and I know how shit I felt for a long time afterwards! All I can say is that it does get easier and you will find your way in time. How did you get on with the sling stuff?

Hello everyone, welcome back Pudding, MrsW has just had awful days too with PND and Scarecrow and meds have helped her a lot, hope you feel better soon.
Scarecrow, I have no memory at all of how much a 5 mo should take, to be on the safe side, can you pump 180ml ? I would use a vari flow teat from Avent. I used that with DS from 5m. Hope you had a more peaceful day today. Good luck to DD for nursery tomorrow. Will be thinking of you and her. I'm free next Wed if you want to grab a coffee in town.
Rosie, Eagle, your diving stories are the sunshine I need after 2 days of schoolrun in the rain. I'm going to invest in a proper fisherman raincoat.

Had a bad day, the stone of my engagement ring (handmade by my Dad) fell, I don't know when it happened, I still have the ring but no stone anymore, there is no way I can replace this loss. Strangely, his birthday is on 19/9, he would have been 83. When I was a teenager, I used to lose 1 earing, it happened several times, he never was angry, he'd try to make a another lookalike one, I now have a few pairs that are not exactly the same. I m sure he must be thinking wherever he is now, his daughter has not changed a bit. Feel as sad as the weather tonight.

hugs bbd

probably going to keep dd back this week as we are mid potty training (part of my sense of failure this week) and my gut tells me it would be too much for her to do both. I took the precaution at the weekend of not telling her "school" was this week in case. Basically we tried a couple of times this summer, both tines because she asked not to wear a nappy. It became a bit on off and I finally decided it was doing more harm than food so have simply gone cold turkey. But still she has not asked to use the potty - she seems to be making progress, can hold wee for 1-1.5 hours except at beginning of day, seems happy to sit on potty and wees immediately when she is asked to, AMD even has told me she is doing a wee moments before it happens once or twice. But not yet able to ask to go. Sorry long winded. It's eating me up a bit as I really feel I've messed up with the whole thing. I felt pressured by nursery and peers and let dh interfere too much without him having considered the pros and cons of his ill informed decisions. Bloody he'll, how can parenting be so hard sometimes. I really feel I'm making a meal of it this week

Scarecrow, does the nursery insist on her being potty trained ? If not, don't feel pressured, she will when she is ready. Don't feel you failed her. DS saw his peers at nursery and the training was far quicker than when we tried to do it at home. Yep, parenting is hard enough.

bbd was your father a jeweller? If so how lovely - like a novel. Your relationship with him must be 'written into' the jewellery so ESP hard to lose that stone. So sorry. But it is making you remember him even more and if he was here he would tell you not to worry?

scare we only potty trained under pressure from nursery. It took a good year and is still going. That's boys. I know what you mean re Dh interference. They tell us we are over-analysing!

Have no advice on bottle feeding - never really done it.

As for me, dp has announced he's going mad in his job and is going to quit and work on his film.

For those who were with me on the pregnancy thread will know this is like I'm stuck in a loop!

He's also going to seek consultancy work so some balance there.

Anyway, he can't hack the corporate environment and neither can I. How does anyone?

Bbd :( saying a special prayer to the find it fairy. Have you checked the bed? Don't give up hope of finding it.
Scarecrow. .. repeat. I am a great mum. Give yourself a break woman. It is bloody hard and we are that smidge older. You seem to me to be doing a fantastic job your posts reflect a mum who loves her babies to bits and gets great enjoyment from them. I see you as a strong capable kind person and am very glad i found you here. Your first post to me helped me more than you can imagine. The tough times make us stronger.

Oh and tell those who want to interfere and undermine your parenting to duck the duck off.

Scarecrow, if you want, I have lots of Avent bottles of different sizes, I would buy new teats though for each baby.
Rosie, I have dusted each room with my broom hoping that is has fallen somewhere at home, shaking all soft furniture but I have been to school, played football with DS, Homebase to buy compost and paint... If only it was a big colourful stone but no it is a small-ish clear stone but it has much more value than anything I/DH can buy.
Somewhere, yes Dad was a jeweller and every jewel I have was made from scratch by him except my wedding ring and that was because he passed away before I got married, otherwise I m sure he would have made our bands too. I can remember him sitting in his small workshop creating moulds, melting gold, showing me how to measure the carats, looking at flaws in diamonds... I spent hours with him sorting natural pearls by shape, size and colour. I miss him so much. He was the greatest Dad ever.

Hi ladies,

Well, we've got through the pregnancy, and I'm sitting here with 15 day old DD2 asleep on me. DD1 is thrilled with her baby sister - she'd asked for a sister, and won't leave her alone, even when she should. I was induced at 40+6, nothing happened for hours, and then from 1st contraction to DD2s arrival was about 2.5 hours, so no time for pain relief, but on balance, better not to be pumped full of drugs, though I'd have happily had them! DH just about made it in time for the birth as things moved so fast. Some of you may remember that he was really unhappy about the pregnancy. He's gone back to work today, he'd been quite distant, but he & DB went drinking at the weekend & he finally talked. We still need to have a proper chat, but things are definitely better.

I'll try and catch up with the thread when I can. Bbd, I really hope you find the missing stone. Scarecrow, with DD1, I thought she'd never be potty trained, and then it just seemed to click. It seemed to take forever though, and I'm sure you're doing a great job.

I've just nicked 3 bricks from a skip washed them and wrapped in tin foil to prop up my 3 legged sofa
Dh will not conceded to a new one and still wants to remove other legs. It would look okay but NO getting up and down with baby would be a bloody nightmare. What ever next. Lol

Welcome sparkly and baby sparkly!!!!

Biscuit flowers hot cuppa.

Good luck with Dh - I hope baby sparkly will melt his heart.

eagle have you really thought of property development? What is stopping you? (Genuine open question)

rosie how is it going with the tenant? Did you have insurance and if so did it help? If not how are you tackling it?

bbd love the description of your father

Xxx

what's up with all the men?! Maybe Rosie's on to something with the full moon...

Sparkly I'm so so pleased you have joined us. Welcome to you and baby Sparklette. From experience my dh came around - I don't know when but on release from hospital he was still stonewalling and kept me waiting for four hours making excuses about work but at three months he lay entranced by the perfection of listening to his two children breathing in their sleep in the campervan next to us I hope you have a similar journey. in the meantime enjoy snuggles with both your DDs (dd1 sounds just divine). And keep us posted. We've had no newborns for what feels like an age and I'm almost getting bloody

Rosie I live your chic sofa fix. v boho! Thank you too for your kind post - I actually felt a lot better when I read it.

Thanks too to the rest of you for honest about potty training: if I wasn't so surrounded by stories of five day Gina babies in the first place I might have felt less of a failure. I need to give myself a food talking to as I would any friend who said that! To update I'm almost deleterious with relief as dd oft down from table this morning. asked to use the potty, for on herself and did a wee. I realise we have a way to fo. but I feel like I've passed an important threshold. Bless her little brave heart.

So today I started a list of all the food things about DH and realise there are many, including that he never smells, does not snore, is incredibly good natured, he tries to get home every night to see dc as he misses them otherwise, he is passionate and knowledgeable about his hobbies, he loves hos women with a bit of meat so there is no pressure for idiotic body perfection, he cooks tasty food, he is very kind when people are in distress, and probably lots more, but maybe most crucially when we are in bed at night I want to cuddle up to him.more than anybody in the world.

almost getting bRoody

Popping in ( again)

Hi again sparkly. X posts earlier sorry. Glad to hear things are working out. DD does sound gorgeous. Reminded me of dd1 when Dd 2 came home.
Somewhere. I finally have a court date for next month.No Isinsurance so am paying through the nose covering mortgage payments and solicitors fees. Current tenants moved in in May and has paid nothing
She coned me. The house is a 4/5hour drive away and i was 7.5 months pg
My previous tenant was a family member ( sort of) she was great single mum who often put her girls needs before paying rent. ( her girls are my dd1 sisters) she very sadly died very suddenly in may. 3 previous tenants all left owing rent and house in mess ( all single mums) I've never used an agent which i probably should of but they are so expensive and do not garentee rent or have any part of eviction. So even if i had I'd stillbe in same pposition. One of my problems is being so far away. I'm selling as soon as I've got these two free loading b out

My problem is I'm hugely emotionally attached to the house and always let my heart rule my head wanting another single mum to have a nice place to live and an opportunity to move on. Not a good business model.

Sparkly, warm welcome to you and baby Sparkle, very happy to have you with us, was relieved you decided to go on despite DH, i'm sue baby Sparkle will mae his heart melt very soon, DD1 sounds lovely, how old is she ?
Rosie, you too are great, helping single mums, very generous although as you aaid no a greatbusiness model
Scarecrow, I found my notes on FF babies, 4 to 5 bottles of 210ml a day !
Be back later, bath time now. Still no luck with my stone.

Evening - troubled times here today. Just after lunch DD started screaming as if in pain - she was absolutely hysterical, which is really out of character. I rang the docs and was able to get an appt within 10 mins (I wondered if she had an ear infection or something). However, she was fairly happy by the time I got there and no sign of ear infection or fever or anything else. Also, had given her some calpol which may have calmed whatever it was down.

Then it started again around teatime - hysterical screaming, arching of back, occasional fart - she was absolutely distraught. Fine again after calpol and also gave her some teething gel. Went to sleep at normal time but has woken just now crying again (but teething gel seems to have calmed her enough to go back to sleep again).

So could it be teething? Don't have much experience as she wasn't particularly affected by first 2 teeth coming through. She must be due more soon but no obvious sign of them coming through. At a bit of a loss as not used to her being so upset and obviously in pain

Thankfully DP here tonight to help out, although he has announced he wants to treat himself to a new road bike (£££) and I thought twice today about buying a coffee from a vending machine. He's also walked a split bin bag through the house and trampled it into the new carpet. I will try and think of his good points one day!

Congratulations and welcome Sparkly!

Oh eagle hope dd is better today :( it's so worrying and frustrating when you don't know what's wrong but you know they're in pain. Sounds like the calpol worked.

I've put my car on gumtree :( tbh I've used it 3 times since dd arrived it's due tax and mot and we're paying insurance for 2 cars. Dh could if necessary walk to work (15 minutes) so it is an unnecessary experience. have had lots of interest so hopefully it will go quickly. I'm going to give myself a little present and refresh my wardrobe a bit. I had a clear out a few weeks ago, got all my pre pregnancy clothes out but throw so much away as it was all lookin so old. I'm back in one pair of pre pg jeans (just. With muffin top)

Just running in to say huge congratulations to sparkly. It's sounding more positive with DH which is fantastic.

Secondly, huge apologies for not being around much (particularly to somewhere who pm'd me)

I'm not able to link to a relationship thread on this phone, but life imploded for me this week. Me and DH have had a rough time of late l, culminating in what happened on the other thread in relationship (it's called, please help, Just found out DH having an affair, don't know what to do - think the title says it all )

By coincidence, the lovely scarecrow got in contact with me on Tuesday, and we met yesterday. She's exactly as she is on here. Wonderfully wise and kind, saying exactly the right thing. Just what I needed. Life today feels a little brighter, but a long long path to travel yet. Anyway, I really don't want to hijack this thread with my relationship troubles, but just wanted to explain,my absence and send my congratulations to the lovely sparkly.

PS baby scarecrow was absolutely scrummy.

Hi all! Just popping on quickly, so haven't been able to catch up properly. Congratulations Sparkly! I don't think we've "met" before, but lovely news . Knickyknocks, so sorry . I'll try to have a read of your other thread later if poss, but look after yourself. BBD, really hope your stone turns up - your dad sounds like he was amazing. Eagle, hope baby Eagle is better today. Scarecrow, don't beat yourself up about the potty training. With DS, we tried when he was 2 and a bit, and it was a nightmare, he just wasn't ready, he kept weeing everywhere like a little rat! We just left it and just after his 3rd birthday, his pre-school keyworker said he kept asking to go to the loo and pulling his pull-ups down. Then he got it in 3 days .

Rosa is still charming the pants off everyone and making lots of new sounds although still no signs of crawling. She likes to stand most of the time though. DP has gone for the snip this morning! Lovely as Rosa is, we don't want anymore "surprises"!

Knicky. Sending hugs
Sparkly. Lovely to see u
Eagle. Hugs to baby eagle today and you this mummy business is tough. Hope dd is ok today
Baby monkey stood in his cot yesterday for the first time which blew me away. Growing too quick. I start back at work Monday. Boo! !! Going to miss my fella. Off to trial nursery again today. He loves the bus ride in says hello to everyone who gets on. Makes me smile everyday and he is such a happy boy. Though four wakes ups last night have aged me. Look like crap

Knicky I'm so, so sorry you're going through this - I had actually seen the other thread at some point as remember the title, but didn't actually click on it so had no idea it was you So glad you've had support from the wonderful Scarecrow and that she's been able to help you. I really hope you get things sorted out in time and that your mum is looking after you.

Last night was a bit of a shocker with DD waking frequently until we went to bed. Then she woke at 2am and I brought her into my bed and fed her. Was going to let her stay there but then realised her nappy absolutely stank. As luck would have it, DP emerged from the spare room and I handed her over! Then up again at 5am, and it was pretty constant after that. And then at 8am the screaming started so got some calpol down her quickly. I've done a bit of googling and it seems that the stuffy nose/cold/stinky nappies/screaming in pain can all be linked back to teething so for now I will blame it on that and just hope we can get through the next few days.

LRM I hope nursery goes ok - he will be happily settled in before you know it. And how wonderful that he's standing!

Hope snip goes ok Knotty I guess you'll have to do lots of sympathetic faces later.

Somewhere you asked what was stopping me re property development and I had a good think about it

Feel like I would be rocking the boat re financial security if I borrowed against the house (after 20 years of mortgage payments I finally own a substantial chunk of it!)
Don't think I would make much money unless I took on something quite ambitious
Would be reliant on tradesmen who constantly let me down
It's not as easy as it looks
Tenants! Who wants em?
I'm not entirely sure it would increase my quality of life (as opposed to going back to work full time)

But, on the other hand...

I am obsessed with property and know the local market well
I have a legal background
I have done up two houses (so hopefully got the worst mistakes out of the way)
If I found a good enough job, I could scrape together a deposit for a small place and look to do something next year
It would be good for DP to be involved as he doesn't own property and it really bothers him

You've got me thinking!!!

Kinky huge huge hugs. I remember that feeling well. My 2 were little then too. i spent days and days with music turned up really really loud dancing round house with baby in my arms and dd1 dancing round my legs. They got me through some dark dark days
So glad scarecrow and your mum were there for you. Stay strong. Your in my prayers