Further freakingly fantabulous adventures of the 40+ Mummies Part 2

[blueblackdye]

Our 2nd thread is full but it won't prevent us from laughing, moaning, keeping on supporting each other, sharing and chatting over our new life with 1 or 2, even 5 children !
Here you go, fantastic 40+ Mums, a brand new thread for all of us, old friends from the pregnancy thread or new joiners

Oh god yes I was just talking about myself haven't noticed anyone else being negative. poss we are shy to trumpet the good stuff. X

Talking of dumping, I have just found out my mum is being genetically tested for BRCA mutations - the thing that made angelina jolie have a mastectomy.

I have gone on a journey of three stops.

I don't want to lose my boobs and womb.
I don't want to die.
Please take out my boobs and womb.

To give balance, if we have got it its thought to be a version that gives milder more treatable big C.

Xx

Scarecrow nearly peed my pants petite. Made me laugh like hell. Made my day! !!!

Littleredmonkey does give the impression of small lady ginger hair. Ginger yes small working on it height stuck as a tall bird dont own a pair of heels! !!

somewhere so sorry that sounds very frightening. I know in theory knowledge is power, but you must feel hit by a brick. will keep fingers crossed for you and your mum - how long will she need to wait for results? hope you can hold dcs close and push to back of your mind as often as possible for now.

cycle so glad to hear you are home and babycycle out of danger, you have both done so well - take time to breathe, messy house can wait a bit longer i am sure

back soon

Crumbs Somewhere, that sounds tough for you all. Hope the results or prognosis good. Thinking of you all.

Conversation with DD this morning in the car:

DD: "Wooow: that is biiiiig cock"
Me (pauses for shock and to regain control, sees what she is looking at): "oh yes, that big cLock on the tower"
DD: "I think it is for the ^princess^"
Me: "Lucky princess"

After I recovered I was frankly dismayed by the princess thing more than anything

More seriously, am a bit (even very) at DD's continuing jealousy/attention seeking and so pulling at/yanking/hitting T's face and head, and other parts less so, especially when he is feeding. I have tried the naughty step a couple of times, but feel it might be feeding the attention seeking element. I feel it needs something more than "talking through" etc as really very deliberately aimed at hurting (or at least clearly defying boundaries I have tried to set). I don't want to use food or her bedroom for discipline. Maybe TV?? Any other ideas. I am so sad inside that my beloved daughter can do this. I really feel it does not reflect her character. And I feel like every incident forces me to chose one child over the other. Plus, obviously, because this seems a mother's lot, I worry about where I have gone wrong. I even fear my anger and upset with DH and his parents in early weeks, including a couple of violent (in tone) outbursts have contributed, though this has hugely changed now. Or have I got the balance of attention all wrong?

Just read lots of reassuring stuff in mums net. It's not the really bad gene otherwise I'd be expecting it because there would have been so much cancer in the family. In fact there hasn't been as much as others describe, the cancers have responded well to modern treatment, not particularly early onset and no one has died for a couple of generations. Could be coincidence. My mum is now in remission and in the best position she could be short of not having had it in the first place, say docs.

If we do have some mutation Then It's that damn Ashkenazi Jew heritage but apparently I can also possibly thank that for my late in life fertility .

No scare not her character her age. It's classic. Having tussled with boundaries myself I'm thinking about this progression. It's harder when they are younger - it appears to me that you have to manage them rather than discipline them as they may not understand or be mature enough to achieve certain types of self control no matter what sanctions you use. My ds is much more responsive to sanctions than he was. Our mistake was to let the nursery prompt us to act on that. Re sibling, there is a heartbreaking resignation in his attitude. The envy is there but he doesnt act on it so much. But toddlers are relatively amoral and act on impulse. I know most people know this!

God I love my son.

Goodnight all.

scarecrow thanks for liking my name :) nearly lost it today when namechanged and couldn't change back, was aware you would be gutted! Hate to spoil it for you but no longer live by the sea, planning to return one day. Feel sure somewhere is right about your dd.

Thanks for wise advice re work. i need to do much more soul searching, avoiding going round in circles. all views welcome. somewhere my heart was in mouth when you said about your ds bonding with cm. think i need to develop more generous spirit where baby seaside is concerned. Im sure its linked to being in nicu at the start. Truth is id love to leave work for a couple more years (or forever) but should really think of the future. will keep doing lottery

Hello Ladies and Babies, I have a quick question: when do we start cutting our babies hair ? A always had hair, culturally, I should have shaved her head when she reached 1 month but I didn't. She is now 10 months tomorrow, it is going all over the place, of course she is cute the way she is but it would not harm her, would it ? Have to go now but will be back soon to read properly.

Hello all, quick drop in while waiting for some second marking that is currently going on...
somewhere that's scary for you. Hope everything is becoming clearer and more manageable.
scarecrow absolutely not character for your DD. I don't have a very old child yet, but have taught in nursery... It's just a way of communication for someone who isn't old enough yet actually to understand properly that she's really hurting someone else. Even adults who are in deep pain can lash out not to hurt, but in the hope that someone will understand what they are trying to communicate. Sorry I don't know how to deal with sibling rivalry, just wanted to say that I don't think it is about inflicting injury really.
seaside I am sorry that I can't be very helpful on the going back to work front - I am in such a different boat. I love my job and I work with fabulous people day-to-day. I get to listen to amazing musicians and talk about/make music at such a fulfilling level. Am sitting in my office listening to someone playing Chopin rather fabulously down the hallway! (Scarecrow I teach music at post-graduate level).
bbd also no help on hair cutting front. Matthew still has none to speak of, bar a lovely mohawk!
Oh and hooray for cycle getting home. Congratulations!
Hello to everyone else, must go and do some more marking...

scarecrow how about sticker charts - they really work. Seven stickers for seven days without hitting/smacking baby and she gets a lovely, even princessy, present at the end. You can draw pictures on the chart to represent the behaviour and the present. I did this for my ds for potty training and much later getting dressed in the morning. The behaviour persists once the chart/reward is done. It avoids any bad feeling.

goat that sounds lovely, just lovely (Chopin drifting down the corridor).

bytheseaside you are by the seaside in yourself, iykwim.

bbd isn't it beautiful the way their hair gets nuts? I had to cut ds's gorgeous thick tresses cause it got in his eyes and you can't tie boys hair back but I'm looking forward to never cutting dd's if I can help it.

AFM have talked to parents about this gene. Quite a lot of cancer in our family, much more than i realised. BUT its always been very mild - no one died of it in modern times which is why i didnt really know, and why it's all come as such a surprise. I think on balance this is lucky and I'm now feeling thankful. My mum is getting tested for the gene mutation and if she has it, which seems likely, I need to be vigilant about breast cancer from now on really.

We've booked our holiday in Cornwall and I'm very excited. Eden project, sandy beaches etc etc.

Baby somewhere is fatter than ever - she has this big chunky torso and little monkey legs like a miniature gorilla. When she smiles she wriggles her shoulders - like her face can't contain her joy.

Xx

Goat. What amazing job. Classic gm on the radio daily for me. Baby m & I have breakfast and lunch to it daily.
Hugs to all feel like crap achy all over and knackered. Friend told me babies do sleep through! ! When is this miracle going to occur I said '!! Shattered signing off need ZzZzz

Fm not gm. Bloody phone and poor previewing by me

flying in... still lost in thrush and retained placenta fun but keeping an eye on everyone! Chair let us know what happens with BabyChair's loose bottom - BabyWooster has been explosive ever since jabs last weds - sample off to docs tomorrow but I keep thinking about lactose intolerance...

I got told by BG's paediatrician that temporary lactose intolerance is really common in babies after a tummy bug. Certainly was worst in BG after the first really bad bug, then had a second, not so bad. Still is intolerant but is a little better (can take a teaspoon of yoghurt every so often without the after effects). Has taken months though and we are still not there. But good thing is he will prob grow out of it... (Hope so so I can share my cheese obsession!)

Cycle ! Welcome home ! Chores can wait. Very glad aby Cycle did not need transfusion. Take care.
Scarecrow, reassurance, repeat again and again to L that you love her but as Goat said, I don't think she hits to hurt, she probably does not know how strong she is compared to a baby like T.
Somewhere, glad you are not over reacting.
MrsW, sorry to hear thrush and placenta not sorted yet.
LRM, D and A definitively talk to each other re waking up Mummy at night.
Wave to all. Hectic here. Not a sec to myself! :)

I actually hate this site - just did a long considered post and it has buggered off. And I was on a proper computer. And I am too bastard tired to do it again. AAAAAAAARH.

Argh - hate it when that happens. As insurance when I write a long post (or any post at all on mobile) I select the text and copy it so if it doesn't post it's been retained on the clipboard and you can just paste the whole thing again.

Waves to all - being held hostage by grumpy baby all day

Last night I SLEPT.
Perhaps more to the point, BG slept. Still woke for a feed, but was brilliant and went straight down again. Until 6.

I must have had 8 hours for the first time since the beginning of pregnancy! I could get used to this.

Sorry for waxing so boastful...

Yeah ! Baby Goat, you are a star ! There is hope, LRM ! Lets hope this miracle will happen soon in our households too !

It's a chrismas miracle. Baby m slept from 7:30 till 3:45 and then till 7. Only one feed. !!!! Yeh dont feel as shite
Yeh also baby g for sleeps. Sending sleeping fairy to baby a

somewhere I hope you're getting your head around this genetic issue. It sounds like you are dealing with it really well.

mrsw great to see you, but I'm so sorry your woes continue. DD still has a runny bottom. It's not full-blown diarrhoea any more. A friend who is a GP said lactose intolerance is uncommon and not likely to be the cause. She advised us to wait and see. I'll take her in next week if it continues. I really hope it isn't because as a formula-fed baby this will be problematic. The non cowsmilk formulas aren't as close to breast milk. Let's see. I hope baby w is over it soon and you finally get sorted out. It must be really wearing you down.

scarecrow sorry to hear of bonding woes. Hope you're reassured by now that it's not something in her personality. It's so hard for toddlers to communicate about their emotions, or indeed to understand them. In time she will come to love him and value having him around. At the moment he's just a little blob who is attached to her mummy.

goat, yay to a sleepy baby goat. Long may it continue. I also love the sound of your job. I used to house share with a classical pianist and loved hearing Chopin drifting up the stairs.

I'm afraid I've got my comeuppance for boasting of my sleep last week. Firstly a tiring and rather stressful weekend at MIL followed by the unwelcome return of my old friend insomnia (I've had bouts since I was a teenager), on Tuesday I experienced chest pains and was advised to go to A&E. So I did and was kept in overnight for observation and tests. What a scary experience that was. All I could think about was the kids. My mum has a heart condition so I felt pretty grim. However all came back normal and it was put down to stress. A combination of the house move and the huge amount of work that needs doing to the house and of course new baby.

I think I've been trying to avoid facing the fact I'm stressed and perhaps a bit low. Time to work it through I think. Last time I ignored my feelings I ended up depressed with time off work, Prozac and 18 months before I was back to normal. I'm going to tell friends and talk it through. I'm not ready for the doctor because the first few weeks of taking Prozac are hideous - more insomnia and anxiety. Will try to manage myself. Time to eat well, exercise and be nice to myself.

And on top of this DD's sleep is terrible! I shall never be complacent again.

Chair. Honey sending hugs. Sounds like you are having a hard time. Your right talk to others but see your gp even to get further advise. Be kind to yourself. Let others help. Get out with the pram daily gets you out fresh air. Thinking time while baby sleeps and exercise. Have you joined any groups. Talk it through with dh especially the stress. What can he do to help you both. I have set u up a big pillow in the snug to relax on. You have worked so hard moving and with a little one that's a big achievement. Sit back and give yourself some space and take your time. Xx

Hugs to Mrs w as well xx

superb work babies goat and monkey!! Baby s now definitely responding to her name last week or so (real name - obviously she has no idea who 'baby seaside' is)

Oh chair and Mrs W take care of yourselves, you've been through the mill. Small kindnesses to oneself and cutting your self and everyone lots of slackan help I think. chair after massive initial stress, I have accepted you can't move house effectively with a newborn (or when heavily pregnant - not to self for future) We still have an entire bedroom out of action as full to brim of full packing boxes and junk 8 months on, and millions of related jobs undone. BUT the house is livable, warm and gets hoovered now and again.

mil coming to stay again - yay! She's very, very nice actually, but drives us both a bit bonkers as is obligatory. We are going to have lots of activities and be out a lot I think. I'm meant to be tidying up while DP drives baby s to get her to have loooong nap, as I'm not allowed to do anything when baby's here unless it takes 5-7 minutes and I can sing nursery rhymes cheerfully while I do it.