LRM - so sorry you're having all these sleep problems at the moment. Lots of useful advice/thoughts posted already and I am not in a position to advise but my own experience is that we have co-slept almost constantly and up until recently DD hasn't gone to bed til 10pm then wakes to feed every 2-3 hours every night, with each feed seemingly being less satisfying than the last as the wakings get more frequent as the night progresses. What has saved me from dying of sleep deprivation has been learning to feed while asleep - I just get boob out and leave her to it. Things have turned a bit of a corner these last few nights as have been trying to get DD to sleep a little bit earlier each night and all of a sudden I'm seeing tired cues at 7pm which definitely weren't there before! Last few nights she's been ready for bed by 7pm when I feed her on the bed then either lay her down asleep or if she's still awake I reassure her and then walk out of the room and generally she just settles herself.
Since going to sleep earlier, she has (generally) started sleeping through the night! Well til 5am at least, when she seems to be ready for the day, so at that point I let her feed as much as she wants or have some toys for her to play with and eventually she will fall asleep again (not sure if this is a continuation of 'night' or her first nap of the day)
Last night I left her to settle to sleep herself then we got an awful shock when we went to bed as she had crawled around the bed so that she was facing the opposite direction, was halfway down the bed and face down! Not taking any more chances so this evening I wheeled her little Stokke cot back into the room and plonked her in it after final feed. It's sad not to have her in the bed but really don't want her to fall out.
Sorry - the above description of Baby Eagleray's sleeping is overly long and waffly and doesn't contain any useful information, but I guess I'm still trying to make sense of it all myself. I've definitely felt like she's been sucking for comfort at night, and wonder if her waking up was habit rather than hunger. Not 100% sure her 9 hour long stretches of sleep will continue, but if they do it might be connected to getting her into bed much earlier (although this doesn't have much logic).
If she hadn't started sleeping for longer I would definitely be looking at applying some sort of training/technique to get her to sleep for longer as don't want to be feeding this often when I'm ready to go back to work. Anyway, sounds like you've made a big leap forward with the settling and hope it continues!
FF so sorry about your shitty birthday and selfish DH. I think it is all the more hurtful when you are raising children and then feel doubly unappreciated. I'm in a similar position with DP each year and have long ago given up relying on him to make my birthday special. I do tell him very clearly though what I want (sending him weblinks if necessary), and also threaten to tell my family how badly he's treated me. It's hardly romantic, and I have to keep threatening/blackmailing him in order to get anything at all, but there have been very small improvements over the years. Last birthday I hinted at flowers (he has never, ever given me any) and he duly turned up with a bunch of lovely flowers, which I quickly ascertained were hand-picked by himself, although he was very vague about whose garden he had got them from...
BB so glad you are reunited with DS now - what a sweet reunion you've had this weekend! And thank goodness A's spots have cleared up. Can't believe you will be back in London so soon - I definitely want to come and visit!
Somewhere are you still on holiday? Hope it's going well. Your (and DP's) experience of therapy is interesting. It's something I've considered on and off over the years but never done. DP is definitely in need (or rather, should I say, he would certainly benefit from it) but would never in a million years consider it.
Uh-oh - bedtime! Hope everyone has a peaceful night without too much disturbance