Further freakingly fantabulous adventures of the 40+ Mummies Part 2

[blueblackdye]

Our 2nd thread is full but it won't prevent us from laughing, moaning, keeping on supporting each other, sharing and chatting over our new life with 1 or 2, even 5 children !
Here you go, fantastic 40+ Mums, a brand new thread for all of us, old friends from the pregnancy thread or new joiners

Soz for me me me -ness of late.Hugs to all and support and advice much appreciated.

Xx

somewhere it sounds like your DS has that rarest of characteristics, compassion... I hope society doesn't try and erase it from him because it's not considered manly enough! And sounds like maybe your DSis needs some outside help beyond what you can give her - no one would blink an eye if her son was, say, diabetic, she would be expected to go to the experts - but if a child needs behavioural help, it's seen as a stigma. But your responsibility is to your DS so it sounds like taking a step back at the moment is a good plan, although sad to lose a little bit of closeness.

scarecrow I looked at the toddlers on Facebook... Made me laugh! Especially the entry about all women being called mummy. And it's never too late to learn the piano my oldest student was 64 when she started, her goal was to get to grade 8. She did it at 75! So don't give up... Wonderful news that the colic is better. More restful for you as well as T. I think babies often go up and down the centiles, no? Certainly BG dropped quite a bit when he became really mobile - actually lost weight - but has made up for it again. Lordy, those legs are sprouting!

Re the sleep. Suddenly massively improved for two wonderful nights; on Monday night he even technically slept through (12-5) for the first time EVER. But then he got a horrible cold, and last night was Not Fun (Trademark). Spent an awful lot of time standing up in his cot bellowing about how bad he felt, no he didn't want water, didn't want milk, or to be picked up, no actually he did want to be picked up, why did you pick me up mummy I didn't want you to, want milk, want Ewan, turn Ewan off mummy, give me water, no I don't want water...
You get the drift. Let's see what happens tonight. There might be an advertisement tomorrow on the circus Wanted/Offered website, for the Super Non-Sleeping Baby.

PS chairman don't think it was night terror, he's had those and they were different. Hopefully it was just a bug or something.

Hi ds eating ice cream and baby somewhere asleep. A moment's peace.

goat I hope baby goat gets better. Your description of him is rofl. I'm sure there is a bit of gritted teeth with the humour! Your job sounds ace. How are you coping with the sleep deprivation?

scare hope you managed to get through whingy dd trials. I don't totally understand the fuss about percentiles as it is normal for weight to fluctuate. How were your in laws?

chair I don't think you have to choose between friendship or peace in your house. Even with my evil nephew it is massively easier if we see him less often and for shorter times. The recent crisis was exacerbated by overexposure. If your friend doesn't get the message just apply the breaks and see them less often - she probably won't notice.

AFM talked to a friend today about nephew situation - she didn't think it was a big deal and told her own stories of her daughter who is v sensitive. I still think there is a depth of nastiness in nephew that has to be seen to be believed (although he can be great) but clearly everyone has got a story. I need to get my hard hat on.

Yes goat my sis does need some outside help but she's a rationaliser and a denial- type. I've challenged her a few times quite hard but it's very tricky. I'm hoping I've left a few seeds in her mind.

My kids are being sooo lovely. I'm loving this summer with my baby girl and my boy.

Xx

Ps goat I love the way you write about your son - there's a music in it! Xx

Goat. Pop him on ebay!! He'll sell he's a cutie! !

Lrm his photo would certainly lull any buyer into a false sense of security!

Somewhere funny you should say that, I often hear a soundtrack of violins when BG is around!!

hello all. Too tired to do much (having tea before bedtime!!) but loving reading posts.

Goat, you really hear music? That is magical

Somewhere, afraid not at all tempted by fasting as a way of life. I don't manage blood sugar that well. more importantly I thi.k I would get a bit obsessive about body and diet, something I have happily avoided for much of my adult life. My mum and her mum borderline eating disorders and it is a major priority for me to avoid bringing up DD with ant hint of an issue from me. I can't order her whole universe, but I think home influence when v young so important. Am living loving the Couch to 5k running programme though - it has awakened my live of running. if any of you are tempted there is a great support thread here on MN.

goat Yes it's like a musical motif, the tossing and turning of baby goat's thoughts!

scare gotcha. Nobody has had a hint of an eating disorder in my family - I can see that fasting would be dangerous if there was.

Loving exercise - buggy fit is a buzz. Planning a run in the woods with pram and ds today. Couch to 5k sounds interesting but poss a bit too structured for attachment parenting old me.

Where is everyone else? I've been thread hogging after my nephew anxiety.

Xx

Hi - having trouble keeping up recently as had DM to stay this week. It went quite well but wasn't the welcome break from looking after DD on my own that I thought it would be as having guests to stay is hard work in itself!

Some minor drama tonight as put her on train earlier (direct train, and being met by stepdad the other end). Then I get a phonecall to say she never turned up so had to get on the phone to British Transport Police and while they are giving me information about the train, Baby Eagleray (sat on my lap) does the longest, stinkiest phrrrrrrpppptttt ever and unfortunately by the time I got off the phone it had leaked through all her layers and soaked into my skirt. Shortly afterwards, DM turns up at destination, having had to change trains mid-journey and get a later one!

Somewhere really sympathise re your nephew as I have some issues with two of mine and find their annual visit quite stressful (frequently have to say to DSis "please could you ask them not to do x and y") How did your run go? Would love to try some small runs but can never seem to find the time when DP is around to look after DD. Have got the F-cup running bra though, which I use when I do the Shred...

Since I last posted, I have taken Baby E to London for the day! We took the train there, then I navigated by bus, using a fab transport app which worked brilliantly. We covered a lot of ground (gallery visit, then headed south to visit a friend) and hope to go again soon.

Am having to start making enquiries about childcare if I am to get back to work before the end of the year. DD has just turned 5 months and am really struggling to see at the moment how I could leave her for the day anytime soon. Seems such a massive leap to go from BF every 2.5 hours and barely out of her sight to being left with someone for 10 hours a day!

I hear crying - have to go. Not sure what is wrong tonight but she's not at all happy. Waves to all.

Hey eagle hope dp is better. Omg mil's. one day we will be mil's.i take it she had no mobile phone... We at least will have mobiles when our time comes. Sorry eaglet is unsettled- she of the legendary poos - I remember each and every anecdote. We should get her and baby somewhere together to chat BMs.

Update from me.

In effort to make ds a bit more cool I got him a haircut - his hair had grown out into a terrible mullet. Took him to a new barber shop and turns out the guy cuts hair for film and celebs. I thought ooh you are smarmy but actually he was a bit of a genius. I fumbled around trying to explain what I had in mind and he said 'oh like George clooney?' So ds has ended up with a really nice subtle manly haircut.

Also spoke to sis. V painful as there are underlying choices about life that she has made and not faced up to really and by standing my ground that Something Happened I'm sort of forcing her to look at it which is a scary business in any relationship.

At the same time she didn't bawl me out for maligning her darling boy. She was very pro my ds and in favour of managing the problem.

My dp thinks I overreacted and so do I - it made a bad situation worse. I flaked.

At same time my sis asked me if I was free fri or sun and I said no to both. Trying to set a boundary - now it's up to dear sis and nephew what they do with it.

both kids asleep by half 7. a first on my own. oddly getting to be easier alone than not, but guess I'd be less cocky if I had to do it on my own every time.

DH took pity after I balled out FD twice this week and slammed myself in the bathroom and gave me three hours off this afternoon before heading to the pub It was a riot of chocolate, no veg, T in a 4 hour old nappy and DD having peed on the sofa and eating supper watching YouTube while I spent the time writing our desperately overdue last thank you letters for baby presents....but at least I could hear the tennis. Do I sound less than hugely grateful? AIBU?!

somewhere your sister sounds like she handled it pretty amazingly well. Very few people could be so positive about criticism of their dc, surely? Good luck for finding the right balance between supporting her and establishing the right boundaries for you and Young George Clooney.

Eagle, have belatedly PMd you.

right need to finish thank yous and some important letters and then pack for sister having both kids tomorrow when we go to see the Stones. Don't suppose any of you lot going? Can hardly bear to think of leaving T for ten hours it hurts so much (not to mention the aching breasts I'll have!)

as I prepare to leave T, questions for those of you who use bottles: how much doe LOs take at c 12 weeks between 5-7/8 pm? I usually cluster feed 2-4 times.
Also what number teats do you use?? We are still on 2 but earlier with DH he only took 2oz or so this afternoon and wondered if DH des him when not hungry (v poss) or if he frustrated with teat....

on way to Stones and excited bit also feel sick in my heart and soul at leaving T. Guess the bonding has progressed

Also wanted to record that DD seems to have turned a huge corner in her sibling acceptance: she insists that T shares everything: sees pictures in books, gets goodbye kiss or shout out, has an ice lolly and so on. She really does seem very protective. I'm sure time and her inate sweetness mostly behind this, I also feel that talking to her a lot more about when she was a baby and how she had my milk, went to the doctor for "medicine in her leg" and so on has helped a lot. I have even shown her photos of her in the car seat and so on. At the same time I have been firm in sometimes saying it is T's turn - you've had games/food/sleep/whatever, now give over. All in all a lovely place ro be before our holiday begins at 5.30 on Monday!

lost connection. Now here queuing for beers and Pimms! wow

in loos pumping milk ... rock 'n' roll

Hey scarecrow hope you're having a ball at the stones. We were in Hyde Park today and I thought of you. Well done for getting out, though leaving T must've been hard - was all his milk for ten hours ebf (wow if so - you must have super tits). How have you managed to get him to take a bottle?

Lovely to hear about your girl warming up to her bro.

Yes my sister is an amazing person. She's a very whole person apart from denying herself the love of a good man. We have the best conversations - endless inconsequential revelations, jokes, constantly interrupting each other, yet also scope for ten minute soliloquys as required. Our relationship is v strong. I really hope we can find a way through.

We went out as a family and had an amazing day - leisurely breakfast in the local park, walk in hyde park, ice cream at harrods ice cream parlour, ds in the fountain on the south bank, baking sunshine.

it was absolutely incredible. What a performance. I totally get the RS now. They have to be live. I'm so glad I saw it, even if I'm 50 years too late!!

scarecrow, that sounds brill!

I've been spaced for the last few weeks, so haven't looked in here for ages. Babycamper is now 7lb 7oz and growing into the newborn clothes - at eight weeks! We got a bike trailer so we are beginning to get out and about finally. He isn't a very jolly baby - if we aren't moving he only tolerates it for a couple of minutes at most before he starts grizzling, which is tiring!

I'm glad I'm not the only one with overdue thank you letters to write.

Scarecrow, Somewhere sounds like you had great time in the parks !
Cycle, welcome back. Eagleray, omg, BTP and missing DM and legendary baby poo, you had lots on your plate, but glad all was ok in the end.

In Paris since yesterday, hot weather, cherry tree is full of fruits, new Portuguese neighbours f#%*+ loud, and DM is just the same as usual, if she seems happy to have us, she sometimes complains that A is too heavy for her to hold ! Another 6 months and she won't need to anymore. A is very very very mobile and loves her stairs with red thick burgundy carpet so as soon as she is on the floor, she heads staight to them to climb as quick as she can !

Wave to all, enjoy the heat wave in London.

Oh poo, I've missed loads. Been on the TDF thread in Chat/actually watching le tour and playing a game of spit the motorbike with DS so he'll sit still and watch it (DD is transfixed)/the usual crap. Sorry!

scarecow, the thought of you pumping milk in the loos of the Stones gig is hilarious! Hope they were mind blowing.

goat, how is DS doing? This heat can't be helping. They really struggle don't they. I'm afraid I'm quite hardcore (once past 6 months) and ignore unless genuinely distressed or ill. It's got us through some difficult times and earned us some sleep I think.

somewhere, it sounds like you've made some progress with your sister.

Things are not good with my friend. We met up and her DD spent the whole afternoon - 3 hours! - either whining and making demands (which were all met, including buying her toys), or having full-blown screaming tantrums. I tried to advise my friend and talk her through some stuff. When we parted she looked furious with me. She thinks my DS is a little angel and I have things easy. But that's through hard work! I was left feeling annoyed and very negative. I don't want to feel that way so I think I'm going to back away for a time and see what happens.

As for the rest, DD's sleep is terrible! She's on 3-hourly feeds and is trying to roll over already so driving herself mad doing that. We're taking it in turns to do chunks with her so we can both get some sleep. But she is so gorgeously smiley during the day. And DS seems to really love her now. He was in his room repeatedly saying her name as he went to sleep last night. Gorgeous!

Back soon, but now we are on our way and Murray has fulfilled my dreams (been watching Wimbledon since 9yo!), am getting more and more into Tour. Chair we'll see the Mont St Michel tt and poss another stage or two in north/Tours area before head south east

Special wave to Cycle for having a tricky time. Have you looked into cranial osteopathy for N? Are you using slings? I find it tiring enough having to hold baby for up to hour after feeds so my heart goes out to you coping with the need to move and be held constantly. Glad you have help. And remember it ^will^ pass.

chair story about your DS made me a bit peppery eyed. Bless him

scarecrow, MASSIVE TDF envy Have an amazing time! We're planning ourYorkshire camping trip with friends for next year and am excited already!

I'll stop TDF'ing now. See you on the other thread!

Wow Scarecrow - holidays!!! DP would be so jealous of your trip. Hope you have a fantastic time. Have you negotiated a suitable duration with DH or are you going to see how things pan out? Glad you had a great time at the Stones gig.

We are actually supposed to be on the other side of the world at the mo - DP had a business trip and we were going to go as a family but then the kaibosh was put on it when we all realised how ill he was. Slightly gutting but am quite glad not to be missing out on this lovely weather. Just as well I had the heebie-jeebies about the whole thing and hadn't actually bought my flight as we would have been stuffed...

That sounds v awkward re your friend Chairman - I have a similar one and used to feel a bit when sat there watching her terribly behaved DD dominate proceedings. But then I didn't have any children back then so kept my mouth shut. And now I still think she is badly behaved and really hope I don't end up with similar issues! Well done to you for putting the hard work in! and just hope I'm not eating my words 2 years down the line

Welcome back to Paris BBD - love the image of A clambering up her fluffy burgundy mountain

Great to hear that baby C is fitting into the newborn outfits at last Cyclecamper - am slightly jealous of your bike trailer as really wanted to get Baby E on wheels this summer. Been looking at tons of trailers and wanted to get one with a baby sling but now keep being told you can't use them for cycling, only for when using the trailer as a pram! Presumably you have managed fine so far with C, and sounds like he really enjoys the motion.

Somewhere glad you are sorting things out with your sister - sounds like you have a very strong bond.

I'm starting to reflect a bit on some of the, er, habits we have with Baby Eagleray's routine. I don't think too much these days about how we do things (I suppose a bit like when you learn to drive a car and get to a point where you no longer have to concentrate on which pedal is which) but here's some of the areas we might be struggling with:

• cannot get her to sleep before 10pm! The naps go quite well during the day, but then early eve onwards she is awake. Even if I managed to feed her to sleep at, say, 7pm, she will ping awake shortly afterwards and still can't get her to sleep properly til after 10 (or 9.30 if I'm really lucky). Then it's 3/4 hourly wakings usually throughout the night (we cosleep and I feed her pretty much in my sleep so that's fairly manageable). Anything I'm doing wrong? I know that sleep begets sleep, and so maybe it's the lack of later nap that's causing it, ie overtiredness.

• she has now become a bottle refuser! After being bottle fed around the clock in the early days, she now really struggles if I try to give her EBM. Tried a couple of days ago - she got really annoyed and was chewing the teat, but if I took the bottle away, she angrily snatched it back! She did eventually down a couple of ounces. Is it worth persevering with that one? I should probably look into getting her some more grown up feeding equipt as she is probably on a too young teat now.

• weaning is now looming in the next 2/3 weeks. Feel a bit irritated by the labelling of it, eg BLW etc. Would it be ok to mix it up? I quite like the idea of making little purees for her to try, but also like the idea of her joining in with our meals. I'm sure I'm overthinking it, but the HV presented it as method x or method y. Anyway, I've got an Annabel Karmel book arrived in the post just this morning, so I will make a start using this book...

if anyone has any advice/opinions re the above, please do share!

Oh, and we took her swimming for the first time yesterday. Felt like a bit of a momentous occasion as DP is a very, very keen swimmer and so he's hoping she will be the same. We took her to a lido and she was decked out in a garish pink outfit from a car boot sale of froufrou mini costume, swim/sun hat plus neoprene jacket. She took it all very seriously and just bobbed around looking serene with occasional look of shock when her face touched the water. Then DP did a water monster impression and surfaced growling and trying to eat her feet and the laughter started.

DP is doing ok - we are now nearly at the bottom of his health problems. Basically, it looks like years of asthma have damaged his lungs and he has ended up with an extremely rare infection which has actually destroyed them in parts (initial x-ray showed dark patches which was terrifying as at that point we didn't know what was wrong, just that he was losing weight and coughing like crazy). He is on a heavy-duty antibiotic regime until well into next year and we are hoping this will clear the infection (but it can relapse). DP devastated as his sports activities mean so much to him and we are not sure if he will have full fitness again.

Better dash - 3 loads of washing to put away before baby E wakes up! Waves to all

Hellooo everyone, back again after the last bit of marking for the year. Yay! Only two and a bit weeks before we are on the plane to NZ.

Lots going on here as usual. scarecrow the Stones concert sounds fab, and I laughed too at the thought of you expressing in the loos. How our lives change... Sorry too that I didn't get around to offering any thoughts on bottle amounts etc, but BG wasn't really typical at that age, so probably no use anyway.
cycle I remember the growing into newborn clothes moment - congratulations! I have to admit to going slightly nuts at suddenly having All That Choice about what I could dress BG in Hmm, and I was wondering where my SMP went??
bbd ah, the climbing stairs excitement. Have been teaching BG to come down backwards. He's quite good at it now, but does need reminding. Loved your description of Paris.
chairman that kind of story makes me so sad. I have taught in so many schools where behaviour is a real issue and I hate that it's the kids who eventually pay for parenting choices inflicted on them. Hope you are getting some sleep, though perhaps not very likely in this heat?! BG had a temp of 39.5 last night, took ages to get it down. That's really high for him, as his normal core temp is 35.6. Otherwise sleep is getting better, last night hopefully the exception!
eagle the weaning might help with the bottle refusing. It certainly did for BG, who an I've mentioned, had a suck/swallow reflex difficulty. Just couldn't get the hang of either bfing or bottles and it was taking an hour and a half to get 30 ml into him. Then we started weaning, slightly early on the recommendation of Bliss, and suddenly it all seemed to fall into place and he is now the most efficient feeder possible. And a dustbin when it comes to food! Oh, and we have done a combination of both methods from the beginning, blithely ignoring the HV - when we weaned, BG wasn't even 4 months adjusted age, so he was hardly going to take to BLW swimmingly! There is a good book by Rana Conway that talks about combining the 'methods' - I had a quick look, decided that she was saying that what I was doing was ok, and cheerfully ignored all books and advice from then on... Last week BG stole my chicken drumstick and chomped it happily, after wolfing down a samosa and some cucumber and tomato. He has also started trying to feed himself with a spoon. I am looking into buying myself a suit of armour for mealtimes - a quick wipe over with a cloth and I will be clean again.
Oh, and on the sleeping. BG has reverted to a late bedtime. I think it's the heat and lightness so am going with the flow a bit. He is being Mediterranean and sleeping for 2 and a half hours in the early afternoon, so I don't think he is getting less sleep on the whole. Maybe just let Babyeagle do her thing while it's so hot?

No call from the childminder to say that BG has relapsed so hopefully he is ok now.