When/Whether to see GP about 4.9 year olds bedwetting

[WuzzleMonkey]

DD will be 5 in August.

She's never been dry at night. We've given it a good shot on two occasions - the first when she was 3, and the second a few months ago. She would only have a dry night if we lifted her, but even then she wouldn't be consitently dry, having a wet bed at least a few nights a week.

Since the last attempt she seems to have got worse. She wears a pull-up to bed but it's now so wet every morning that I have to shower her and change all her bedding every single morning.

I will investigate getting her bigger/more absorbent pull ups. But just wondered if anyone could give advice about whether it's now worth taking her to the GP? Or will the GP not be able to do anything until she is older?

I would do it now, simply to rule out a UTI

Thanks anyfucker. She has actually been tested for UTIs twice in the last 2 years and nothing came of it. Though you're right, that could be why she's got worse lately. Thanks, I hadn't thought of that.

Everything ok at nursery/school ?

At her age, still being wet at night is completely within a range of "normal" but I would be ruling everything out that I could at this point in time

Also (a bit controversial this)...are the Pull Ups too comfortable ? I didn't use them, as I felt they protected from the discomfort of being wet, thus removing one of the reasons to even attempt to stay dry. It's a school of thought.

She's absolutely fine otherwise anyfucker. I really can't think of anything that would be distressing her.

Yep, I understand where you're coming from with that school of though. But we took the pullups off for a couple of weeks last time - before that they were off for some months. She was wetting two, sometimes three times a night.

She is a very deep sleeper, and she needs LOTS of sleep. It's always been a struggle to find enough hours for her to sleep - she goes to bed at 6 and I have to wake her for school at 7.

DD, 6.5, is exactly the same as your DD. I've been in touch with ERIC and they've been brilliant. In any Yr 1 class there are 2/3 who have never been dry at night so at nearly 5 I really wouldn't worry. DD and I have chatted about it and we've decided that when she's 7 we'll go and get some help if she wants. I certainly wouldn't be too worried at age 4.9. It's something that's incredibly common and is totally unrelated to day time dryness. Like you, we've tried taking the drynites away but we end up with a wet bed 2/3 times a night - better for all of us to get some sleep for now but as I said, we'll probably look for some help if she's still not there at 7.

And do you use Drynites? They do them in ages up to 15 (which reassures DD!) and they seem to contain everything leaving DD and bed dry in the morning.

I believe its not really thought to be a concern by gps until 7+

Ds is 5.4 and never had a dry night I am not pushing him until at least next summer, as I see no need.

They don't normally find bedwetting a concern until age 7.

BUT

It;s unusual to wet so much that you have to shower her every morning. Is she very thirsty during the day?

Has she always needed a lot of sleep?

Fatigue and excessive urination can be signs of diabetes so you need to rule this out.

Same here with DD except she's 6yo. She has been dry in the day time since she was 2.9yo but still she cannot consistently stay dry at night. She's just a very heavy sleeper and cannot wake herself enough to go to the toilet. We've tried everything from cutting back fluids, lifting twice a night, lifting once a night, wearing pull-ups, not wearing pull-ups. You name it, we've done it except leaving her to sleep on the toilet.

At the moment she's in a pull-up every night and going for a wee before settling down to sleep around 8:30, we lift her around 10:30 and then she's up for school at 07:30. Mostly she has a dry pull-up (6 out of 7 nights). But there's no rhyme nor reason as to when the wet one will be and she can lie in on a weekend until 9:30 and still have a dry pull-up. It appears to be early on in the night when she does wee (we left it until 11:00 one evening to lift her, because she'd gone to bed later, and missed the boat - she had created a small water feature in her bed as we'd stupidly thought she might be ok without a pull-up on). The only reason we're persevering with it is because DD gets upset if she's had a wet night (although not upset enough to wake the fuck up in the first place to go to the toilet!) and it's no great problem us taking her to the toilet before we go to bed. But is it doing any good? Who knows.

She has reduced the amount she does wee but that's only happened over the last 4 months I'd say (just after she'd turned 6) and this bit has to happen before they can even hope to be dry.

This is the one taboo no-one talks about for fear of the comments from other parents along the lines of "oh little Johnny has been dry at night since he was 6 months old, isn't yours dry yet?" and the sneering that follows, as if it's anyone's fault!?!

I guess there's no help I can give you mainly because we're in the same situation, but I do sympathise and if you do manage to find the magic cure let me know

In the meantime she has started sleepwalking, now if I can only get her to sleepwalk to the toilet I reckon we'll be sorted. Last night we found her brushing her hair in my bedroom.....

Newdaynewpants - love the name by the way. I think it's a ridiculous taboo. I talk quite openly about it (not in front of DD of course) and some people look at you with complete horror. But, by talking about it, I've found a fair few others at the school gate with exactly the same problem. I expect it's much more common than you'd think! Incidentally, our DS, 4, was dry at night for about a year and then started wetting, just once a night so now we lift him when we go to bed. That works for him. It wouldn't for DD though! I think a relaxed, open, no stress attitude is the way forward.

Kelda that's a good point..perhaps I will make a GP appt just to check that out. Though she has always been like that, has always been in bed by 6 since she was a little baby, so I'm not sure it's unusual for her, if you see what I mean?

Syndey - I'm still putting her in size 6 pull ups as I buy those for her sister (almost 3, potty trained for 6 months and not dry at night). Had been resisting dry nites as they're more expensive but I think I need to bite the bullet and try those instead, thanks.

Newday, I agree. I overheard someone gossiping at the school gates about how she'd stumbled on a nethuns threads similar to this. She was all "well, I can't BELIEVE there are school age children out there like that? Who knew? What on earth are the parents thinking?" etc...

Sydney...when we saw GP about DSS bedwetting, they were much more concerned as he had been previously been dry at night.

WuzzleMonkey I honestly wouldn't worry about what you cover DDs arse in - pull-ups or Dry Nites, they all do exactly the same thing. Dry Nites are extortionately priced in comparison to ordinary pull-ups. Dry Nites are slightly less bulky but at this age DC don't really care, or notice, about that. Buy pull-ups and save your money to buy a new mattress when DD is dry or she moves out whichever is first.

Thanks all.

I just need to work out which pull ups (if any) aren't going to leak now! I guess if dry nites are thinner they're maybe less absorbent?

dt1 is 8 and still bedwets we use either tesco or sains own brand pull ups in the size 5+. He is quite skinny and with the bigger ones it just leaks through the leg cuffs and pampers and huggies both leaked too. I think the thing is they get taller, but thin out a bit compared to babies, so really, you don't need dry-nites or anything.

We also limit drinks for an hour before bedtime.

We've been to the drs and tried the medication to stop it too, but still with no luck yet! I'm just hoping it kicks in sooner or later. He is a very heavy sleeper.

ballstoit - that's interesting. ERIC just told me it's known as secondary enuresis and can be triggered by UTI (had that checked) or life change/anxiety. What did your GP say, out of curiosity?

Similar stuff about uti, anxiety etc, also diabetes/kidney issues would be investigated. Also said that they would be more likely to recommend alarm or medication as the child has shown they are capable of being dry at night, rather than it being developmental.

GP also said in her experience there is a family/genetic link but share didn't believe there was published evidence.

My ex-h (dss's dad), and his dB were both late to be dry at night. DSS is still not reliably dry at 12, but treatment has proved difficult as he lives at mums but also spends nights with his dad and at my house. DD2 is 4 next month and shows no signs of being dry at night, although both my D's and dd1 were dry at night within a couple of months of being day dry.

Agree it's a taboo subject, and something others judge parents for. When DSS went on cub camp, the leader was that he would be having pyjama pants on...but then went on to state that they usually have a couple of wet beds on camp