Sleep training help please

[MillyStar]

Evening all

I've made a bit of a rod for my own back. Dd is 12 months old and has always been cuddled to sleep

I can't put her down until she is asleep, usually at 7pm when she goes to bed it happens quickly as she is tired but some nights it can take a while

She has rarely woken up in the night for a long time however she has since her birthday which I think is probably the change on to cows milk, I've sat in her room rocking her for nearly 2 hours at about midnight all this week which obviously isn't great

I want to be able to give her a bottle at bed time and then put her down in her cot without her screaming blue murder, same as in the middle of the night I'd like to be able to put her down after I have comforted her and let her settle herself back to sleep

I don't have a clue about sleep training, do I just do exactly that and leave her to cry?

Ps I need to add I brush her teeth before her bottle aswell and at bed time she feeds until she's dozy, I know that's bad!!!

I'm really determined to start a new routine tomorrow, I'm going to start brushing teeth after her bottle then reading her a story before putting her in her cot

It's just the crying thing I'm not sure about, do I need to keep coming in to comfort or just let her cry it out

Oh god, I've tried loads to crack this, thought I'd done it for a few weeks and now I'm back to cuddling to sleep (dd 21 months). I've just given up now, and try to think that it won't last forever, and when she's all grown up I'm not going to think 'I wish I'd cuddled her to sleep less.'

Fwiw though I have read threads on here where people said their dcs have spontaneously stopped needing to be cuddled to sleep as they get older, and that 'making a rod for your back' is a myth. That's what I'm clinging to anyway

Hmm maybe I will still cuddle for a while then

Definitely need to sort the teeth out tomorrow but I'm gonna have to cuddle for even longer when I've woken her back up with a toothbrush lol

There are lots of different ways to tackle it and it depends how comfortable you are with leaving her to cry / how near to the end of your tether you are. Some say stay with them, let them cry and just pat them / shush them till they calm down or gradually withdraw - I thing Elizabeth Pantley's no cry sleep solution is a good source of info for this.

Other say leave to cry but keep going back after increasing intervals (5, then 10, then, 15 mins) to give a quick comfort but not get them out of bed.

Others say make sure the bedroom/cot is safe and then just leave them to cry until they fall asleep.

I'm sure there are lots of variations in between but that's the basic gist. Lots of people will swear that theirs is the only or best way but in reality it's about what works for you and your baby.

Good luck whatever you decide, even if its just to carry on cuddling to sleep for a while.

We did this with no crying, btwiki.ebrey.net/index.php?title=Sleep_Training_-_Gradual_Retreat

We are in a similar situation and are at the beginning of gradual retreat - it is going well. Feeding to sleep had stopped working for DS (13m) and cuddle/rock to sleep was become stressful all round.
A mattress has now been installed next to the cot. I feed him, brush teeth, read a story in fairly dim light, cuddle and kiss, in the cot. Then I lie down on the mattress next to him, do the slow shhhussh and pretend to be going to sleep. I say night night periodically. I don't lie him back if he stands up, I just pat the mattress to encourage him to lie back down and say night night. I only get up if he is getting properly upset, then I cuddle him and lie him back down when he is calm and lie down again myself. The key thing is to keep yourself as calm as possible.