what should my day look like?

[pennyapples]

I have a 4.5 month old DD and am not really very sure what an average day should look like
I guess I dont necessarily mean in terms of routine - I have read all the books and am none the wiser as she seems to do something different each day - even if I try and keep things regular - so not sure a routine as such is for me
But I mean more in terms of activity / entertainment.
We don't go to clubs - a friend told me there is little point before six months - we do socialise a lot however with NCT people, my friends, my family. But when we are on our own - I'm not really sure what to do... We do a fair bit of laughing, pulling faces, blowing raspberries, blowing kisses, tickling a bit, that kind of thing - but that's basically it! she has time on her playmat, but in terms of interaction with me, am struggling for ideas.
could anybody advise? and shed any light on how they fill the 10 hours or so of daytime until DH returns and provides an additional source of entertainment?
also is it okay for me to watch tv when she is occupying herself on her playmat or is that neglect?

1. Throw away the books
2. Maybe start going to a class like baby gym or something (some start from 4 months). More as something to do than for any actual benefit to her . Ditto swimming
3. I had TV on permanently when I was on ML. There is a limit to the amount of interaction they need and want at that age. She may want to start doing stuff in a more sitting position, so a walker type thing with activities on might be a good option.
4. You can try to start gently working toward a pattern, if not a routine. Put her down for naps when it suits you. Roughly, mine did this:

6-7 wake up, feed, mat time 8-9ish back to sleep until 10-11ish Wake up and feed. Play, walk in pram. Lunchtime-ish, nap again Wake up and feed 3ish sleep again until about 5 Feed again, play, bath and bed about 8ish.

Go to a class for your sanity. They are for the parents not the kids.

Also try baby groups, the library (ours had bounce and rhyme for babies) etc. I found something every morning so I had options and got out every morning. Afternoons would be playdates or a walk. It got us into a rhythm and into a nap routine too.

At that age I did classes more for me not ds. A bit of a brain dump here- Post natal yoga, baby massage, also a lot of walking with the buggy to get him to sleep, Met friends who were working for lunch, baby bounce at libraries good at 4 mo, napping when he napped to try and catch up on some sleep, read whatever I was reading out loud to him from mags and papers (probably v naughty), baby cinema was great as coincided with his nap times, nct, and unsuccessfullly baby swimming!

It's a hard age as they are awake more but not doing much! It won't be long til you're into weaning and that gives your day more structure.

I worried excessively what to do when my DD was that age and signed up for all sorts of baby classes (they are definitely more for you than them!). With DC2, when DD is at nursery we meet up with friends with babies of a similar age once or twice a week but otherwise I don't worry about entertaining him and get on with the chores, shopping etc that needs to be done, while charting and singing to him. I'm sure he'll be more self sufficient as he gets older as a result

thanks for your replies - it's really helpful to hear from you all

I don't know if you are joking about the self-sufficiency thing goodnews but I actually do tend to think that - I think it's important to be self-sufficient, and I don't want one of those kids that demands attention all the time - but I also don't want to hold back affection - it's difficult to know where the line is I guess.

Since your replies I've been looking at various baby classes - there is a lot more on than I thought - and I like the sound of the music / bounce type ones as sure she will actually get something from that

fairylights - can I ask - how on earth do you get them to nap at times to suit you? I've tried to put her down to nap when I think she is going to be ready or is showing signs of tiredness but she goes mental - it never works! I kind of figured its bad enough having the hour long screaming battle every bedtime without having it several times each day as well. and she is so random bless her - she often does something quite different nap wise each day!

THe classes are for you not the baby - nice way to meet people if you haven't got friends with kids already.

It's completely up to you how you spend your day, do whatever you like!

do you honestly think they dont get much out of it?

maybe its just a massive industry designed to take your money!

we have limited cash so might save it for later when it might mean something to her then. I feel like I have plenty of interaction with friends and family, dont need more than that.

I suppose I sound a bit daft asking people how to spend my day - I'm just a bit paranoid that I'm boring her! she must be getting extremely fed up with my renditions of incey wincey spider by now

Everything is brand new for a 4 month old baby - you won't be boring her honest! She'll even find watching you peg out the washing fascinating at that age .

I found the nap times settled down with both mine once they hit 6 month or so and the naps sort of settled round the meals. So up, breakfast, play till whingy then down for a nap, then repeated at lunch time. Sometimes I had to take a long walk with the buggy to actually get them to sleep, some blissful days they'd do it in the cot...

If you're getting plenty of interaction with friends/family then maybe you don't need to do as many groups. I didn't have many friends with babies or family nearby when I had my first so I did go to quite a few groups. With my second I had more of a network of friends with kids so not so much need for the groups.

Playgroup/toddler group is something she will enjoy and benefit from but not until she is actually toddling around and independent from you.

4 month old babies don't get bored, your renditions of Incey are the most fantastic thing she has EVER heard in her little life

Some babies need more help than others to get to sleep for their naps. Both mine needed shhh patted to sleep for naps in their cots for a good few months, or I timed a walk, trip to the shops etc with when they needed a sleep (about 2 hours awake is the limit at this age).

Yes at 4 months everything is fascinating, that's why with DC2 I just get on with my chores and he loves watching me Hoover etc.

You won't be boring her!

I found it helped to have one thing planned every day. Even if it was just a trip to the supermarket. Libraries often do free bounce and rhyme singing sessions. Likewise a lot of playgroups/toddler groups only cost £1 or so. They can be good ways to get some adult interaction on days you don't have family/friends to see and they will enjoy it more as they get older.

On self-sufficiency, basically at this stage they have none. If you go to things like toddler groups then they build that themselves at their own pace. Both mine were total velcro babies, but at their own pace they ventured further and further away. Now DD2 is nearly two she often only checks in with me a couple of times (though, of course, I'm keeping an eye on her from a small distance away).

There are loads of things to do if money is tight. See if your local nct has a bumps and babes or an open house. They are usually a quid and you get a cuppa.

See if there are any local playgroups, you can go to most from when you are still pg so she is plenty old enough. Your local swimming pool might do aquatots, ours provides all the inflatables and toys, you just need a swim nappy. One of our local children's centres runs a swimming club for £2 and you get a cuppa and toast too.

Your library might run things like bounce and rhyme, which are free.

Agree with the others, groups are to stop you going mad