Patience with preschoolers. Any tips?

[Judyandherdreamofhorses]

I'm struggling to remain patient with DD (3.8), especially by the end of the day. It's nothing major, I just don't like how I find myself being with her. I just seem to get annoyed by her exuberance and start to get involved in arguments with her, or overreacting to things like the mess in her bedroom.

I try to use How to Talk style parenting and it goes well when I do, but for some reason I can't always manage it. I do have a baby who doesn't sleep well, so I'm always tired!

Any words of wisdom welcome. Thanks.

Everything is worse when you're tired, isn't it? Something I used to do when my DD was around this age (and DS was tiny) was to have a grab bag of activities which I would dip into when the day was going downhill. It included things like a couple of books she particularly liked, some "special" pens and paper, some music CDs, even a photo album. When we were beginning to fall out (usually over something silly!) I'd break out something from the bag and occupy her for a while (it helps to change the contents regularly so it keeps being exciting). Making even a few minutes for playing/reading/dancing together helped improve the mood! Also, have a couple of things in there that she can do on her own but which are kept for special. Then, if you don't have time to sit down with her, you can offer one of these activities as a treat. This often helped me to lighten the atmosphere when I was feeling tense. A walk can be a good mood changer also, if you have time. Hope this helps!

You're so right. Just changing the scene works well. I like the activity pack idea. Today I had a big sensory making activity planned that I'd hoped she'd get on with while I did other things. In the end, I had some bad news and didn't really feel like doing chores anyway, so I was happy to do it with her. Totally new, different, no pressure. It was nice.

I just need to keep perspective. Thanks x

There's the good old "imagine you're being filmed by a documentary crew" tactic...

Or, and I was discussing this with a friend the other day so I know it's not just me that does this, singing things instead of saying them. "How is your room so messy agaaaain! Why can't you put things awaaay? Stop playing and tidy up, nowwwww!" Wouldn't do this in public, but somehow singing it makes it sound better to the kids, they respond better than if I just yell the same thing at them. :)

Yes, singing! You see, I do things like this, most of the time (sound like an idiot, I know!). But sometimes I just can't. The inconsistency makes me worry.