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Parenting

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Original poster

Breast feeding

8 replies

catherine19 · 07/05/2013 23:16

Anyone else feel like a failure for not being able to breast feed? I'm expressing to try to make up for it but finding it really hard to fit it in and can't do it when out etc, its also starting to get painful and I'm only managing enough for half his feeds so needing to give formula as well. Ugh is all this expressing worth it

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WoTmania · 08/05/2013 07:59

Sounds like things haven't gone according to plan :(
I wonder what support you have/had in place?
It can be worth getting to see a LC if you can afford it or a BFC (from one of the big charities - La Leche League, NCT, Association of Breastfeeding Mothers, BfN); they will be able to either try and help you get your baby (how old?) back tot he breast if that is what you ant or give you information on expressing, maximising output and things like paced bottle-feeding

Original poster

catherine19 · 08/05/2013 08:23

We were in hospital for a week due to do not beeing well and I had loads of support and help. I've had him on a couple of times since coming home hes 4 weeks now but it's sometimes really painful and we both end up stressed out! I just don't have the time to express as often as I need to

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MissusBeee · 08/05/2013 08:41

Definitely go and see a Breastfeeding consultant. Your health visitor should be able to point you in the right direction.

I had similar problems with pain (and cracked nipples) and real difficulty with latch, baby fussing etc. I really wanted to breastfeed and was very stressed and upset that it looked like I might not be able to. Even more so as I dreaded every feed!

It took 'till about 6-8 weeks to really get the hang of things and the breast feeding clinic were amazing. They helped me make really small changes with positioning that really helped and the support really helped me.

Baby is now 12 weeks and we are exclusively Breastfeeding and now only express when I need to. I can honestly say I now enjoy it and am so pleased I persevered.

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WoTmania · 08/05/2013 14:12

Unfortunately the support in hospital isn't always as good as it could be and depending on who you get the info isn't necessarily up-to-date.
A trained BFC will be able to talk you through your feelings too and meet you where you are (i.e carry on mied feeding, getting back to breast or whatever) or an IBCLC (international board certified lactation consultant) would be able to see if there are any underlying probs if BF is what you want to do.

WoTmania · 08/05/2013 14:14

They will also be able to tell you more about pumping. If it's hurting it may be the pump setting or the size of flange etc...

WoTmania · 08/05/2013 14:16

BF support

HerrenaHandbasket · 08/05/2013 14:23

I feel your pain. I've had two babies and struggled in both cases (although the second one was much more interested in breastfeeding than the first one was)!

We're not having any more DC and I do feel a bit sad that I will never get to 'crack' breast-feeding - both DC ended up fully FF at 8 weeks. Don't beat yourself up if it gets too stressful to continue - I reasoned that my DC would benefit more from having a relaxed mum than from the ongoing struggle of BF. They barely got any bloody milk from me anyway, a Guernsey cow I am not!!

Whichever way you end up going, I am sure you will be a terrific mum. And there are plenty of help options available if you do want to continue :)

GingerDoodle · 08/05/2013 14:31

If you want to bf then agree with all above.
If you decide not to please don't beat yourself up.

When I did NCT classes and we were discussing birth 'plans' (natural birth etc) our teacher pointed out that those with plans that had births which did not go according to said plan often took it harder than those who had a more laid back approach and birth preferences.
I rather liked the thought and applied it to pretty much everything in the first days / months.

I wanted to bf; started off well, latch fine etc but once home my milk didn't come in properly (some will say this doesn't happen - but it did to me). 4 days later I had a starving baby who had not produced a poo in 4 days; no engorgement, little milk and was very unhappy. I tried expressing too but got no where fast.
I got the Aptmil out and topped up and cue a happier, poo producing baby. I moved onto mix feeding (prob 1/2 an 1/2) after a month or so and did it successfully until she was 3.5 months.

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