How do you tell dcs to stand up for themselves?

[jinglesticks]

At a party today a girl told 3 year old dd she wasn't allowed into the ball pool. Dd cried and came to find me. I thought this was a sensible response on her part. Dh felt she should be able to resolve this sort of problem herself, but he couldn't decide whether she should be taught to argue, assertively disagree, push other child out the way etc. what do you teach your dcs to do in this sort of situation? Don't think I want her pushing other children, but I suspect dh thinks this is the best solution. Any suggestions?

My dd1 is the same age and I tell her to go and ask them to share. If she comes back again and says they won't share I go over and say the ballpoint is for everyone so lets share please.... Difficult isn't it!

At age three an adult should be helping, so you should have gone over to tell the other girl your dd wanted to go in the ball pool, said nicely, because the other girl is also learning.

Absolutely no way teach her to push or anything similar, that is a really silly idea, how embarrassed will you be when you get called into school because she is pushing other kids?

I would do what Nevercan said but I would also check that she was old enough to go into that part of the playarea. Our soft play place had a minimum age limit for various bits.

Yes, I intervened and told the other girl that the ball pool was for everyone to play in, which it was. The other girl wasn't trying to tell us the rules or anything, she was being mean. She told me she was a naughty girl, in fact! I do agree that at 3 the correct response is for dd to get an adult to help. But I'm also so aware that she does need to learn to deal with conflicts on her own, and was wondering how to approach this.