DD is terrible sleeper

[Notsoyummymummy1]

Our DD is 13 months now and we have always had trouble settling her at night - she never goes to sleep until 10:00 or 11:00 - she is hyper alert at night regardless of the naps she's had during the day. We have a routine the same as anyone else - bath, lights dimmed, bedtime milk but she won't settle. We've tried putting her straight in her bed but she gets hysterical so we have to wait for her to fall asleep on one of us and then put her to bed. Obviously this can't carry on and I desperately need an early night and an hour in the evening with dh. We are obviously doing something drastically wrong - is there anywhere we can go to for help with this other than the health visitor?

What is her daily routine? Including naps, food etc

She has a nap in the morning and one in the afternoon unless visiting grandparents interrupt. She has three meals a day and eats well. I think we need to just keep her in her room and not bring her downstairs and do controlled crying. We tried this before but she started getting really really hysterical and banging her head on the cot but I don't think there's any other method.

What time does she eat her tea, and what time is her last nap? Personally I tried controlled crying and it just didn't work - we found that dropping to one nap over lunchtime, waking him at 7am each day (even weekends) and having an earlier tea made a huge difference. We also started spending some time each day playing in his bedroom, so although at night he wouldn't go straight to sleep he was content in there, even let him have a few toys at night in the cot (obviously nothing he could climb on or anything - he was happy with a couple of toy trains).

Also, have you tried a nightlight or making the room darker? If it makes you feel better, by 13 months I was at my wit's end with DS sleeping - he had never slept a full night, wouldn't settle etc. He's now 2 and is an absolute dream, so it does get better :)

Thank you very much for the tips - I will try those. Am so glad to hear it's not just us - we have been feeling such a failure with everyone else saying their little ones go off to bed at 7:00