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Parenting

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Original poster

Cold turkey dummy... nap time nightmare!!

7 replies

Drowsyeyes · 26/03/2013 06:27

Hi folks... I wonder if anyone can give me help/advice/encouragement?!

We are trying to cut out the dummy due to often 8-times a night replugging. We decided to do some cry-it/controlled crying going in every 5,7,10,12 mins until heis asleep. Night times are ok, first night cried for 45 mins, second night about 35 mins, and last night we had 20mins and solid sleep from 7.30-6!! Such an improvement! The thing that is really upsetting me is nap times. He hasn't slept in his cot for a nap at all since starting training. We have tried, but every time he has screamed for an hour and I've ended up putting him in the buggy, going for a walk and he goes to sleep straight away. Yesterday afternoon we were home and I caved and gave him the dummy and now I feel like all that work of the last two nights will be for nothing and we have to start again!

Does anyone have any pointers? Does it really get better? Sometimes i wonder if i am I missing the signs that he is tired, or perhaps thinking he is tired before he actually is? Or I wonder if I forget what those signs are, because beforehand I could give him the dummy and he'd go "ah yes, sleeptime now..zzzzzzzz"!!

Help! Am I destined to never be able to stay home during nap time to have any time to myself (or to do the washing more like!)

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ZuleikaD · 26/03/2013 07:18

How old is he? I'd be inclined to give back the dummy. There are ways of dealing with night-time replugging other than taking away his comforter. You can tie a muslin to it, scatter a dozen round his cot, get the glow-in-the-dark ones so he can always find one himself (put his hand on it when you go in rather than put it back in for him so he learns to feel around for it).

Original poster

Drowsyeyes · 26/03/2013 15:07

He is 6 and a half months... I fear that not having the dummy at night time and then having it during the day will soon make our night time efforts nul and void, and he'll be looking for it at night again soon enough? He slept in the buggy this morning for an hour and a half, and so far his 'lunchtime' nap has not happened - screams (with regular reassurance) for almost an hour.

OP posts:

ZuleikaD · 26/03/2013 15:12

Yes, I mean I'd give it back at night too. Six months is very young to give it up when he's got used to using it to self-soothe - if he was 3 it'd be a bit different. Otherwise why introduce it at all??

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chocoflump · 26/03/2013 15:20

My daughter is 6 months- I would not take away her dummy. It's a comfort to her.

Yes there are numerous times through the night when she gets up crying for it but it doesn't take much to put it back in. I like the idea of tying a muslin cloth to it so she can find it herself.

I'm not a fan of controlled crying, especially not at 6 months. They advise controlled crying only if you know there's nothing wrong with the child and no reason for the crying- there IS a reason for your child crying- the thing he finds comfort in has been taken away and he can't understand why and is frustrated because he can't tell you he wants it.

It would have been better not to give a dummy from birth if you didn't want him having one at this age.

Original poster

Drowsyeyes · 26/03/2013 15:45

Thanks both for your comments. I will have a think and see what plan we can come up with.

OP posts:

mummy2benji · 26/03/2013 20:01

I'd give it back too. In my experience with ds1 the frequency at which you have to get up at night to replace it gets less and less. I got rid of the dummy when ds was older and told him that we would leave his dummies out for the dummy fairy to collect at night, she would take them away to give to babies who need them and leave him a present in their place. He was excited about the present and apart from a couple of nights of "I want my dummy" rather halfheartedly, he was fine giving them up. I personally don't think you need to worry too much about longterm use - I've yet to see a teenager walking round with one in their mouth...

WillowB · 26/03/2013 20:02

To be fair to OP I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to encourage babies to develop self soothing strategies at this age. This is often the age people stop rocking/patting/feeding babies that don't have dummies. NHS also advise weaning them off the dummy about now as the risk of SIDS is lower after 6 months. However I think cold turkey is a bit mean.

For what it's worth 'the no cry sleep solution' book has useful advice about breaking the association of sucking to sleep. Author advises removing the dummy just as baby is about to fall asleep, giving it back and repeating if baby protests, eventually they will fall asleep without it. Worked for us. Unfortunately after a few dummy free months DS has his again now for naps. This is brill & saves replugging:

www.sleepytot.com/baby-comforters

Good luck

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