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Original poster

Parental nudity - when does it stop being acceptable?

77 replies

Noggermum · 07/05/2006 18:36

I have two Ds's age 1 and 3 and I freely shower, bath, dress in front of them. This is absolutely not an issue and it would not even cross my mind to close the loo door. At some stage in the future though, i suppose we will have to exercise a little more caution - for the kids embarrassment as much as our own! I appreciate that all kids and every family situation is different - but what's everyone else's view of when parental nudity stops being acceptable, or when it becomes a bit embarrassing (for either party)? Does gender make a difference? Any views (or funny stories) mumsnetters? Would stress that we are not "social nudists" - am just talking about getting dressed etc - naturism is a whole different ballgame that I don't want to get into on this thread!!!

OP posts:
Twiglett · 07/05/2006 18:48

DS is 5 .. still doing it

will watch thread with interest

(I assume he will let me know when he wants privacy)

PrettyCandles · 07/05/2006 18:49

We are like you (ours are 5 and 3). We feel that it stops when either you or the children get uncomfortable.

On weekend mornings the children often get into our bed with us, so a few months ago, dh started keeping a pair of shorts by the bed, and he slips into them when he wakes ups (he doesn't do pyjamas Wink) and before the children arrive. This is because he noticed that ds seemed uneasy when clambering over him. Since the shorts have arrived, ds is once again perfectly at home in our bed.

When I was a child (and to this day) my mum was 'relaxed', as you and I are, but my dad was not. We soon learnt not to barge in on my dad, and, once we had reached puberty and become more body-aware, we didn't 'inflict' our nudity on him, but covered up rather than run around nakey while he was nearby. No discomfort, just an instinctive respect for an individual's feelings.

PanicPants · 07/05/2006 18:49

I will watch with interest too. Although it would be lovely to be able to go to loo and shower on my own!

WigWamBam · 07/05/2006 18:51

My dd is 5 later this month and we still have no qualms with nudity. When we get to the stage where she starts feeling embarrassed then we will cover up - but until then I will continue to have no problems with it. For me there's nothing unacceptable about it, as long as everyone (especially the chid) is comfortable with it.

galaxy · 07/05/2006 18:54

dh walks around in the buff in front of ds (13) and dd (3). I go nude in front of dd but not ds (but he's my stepson so wouldn't anyway).

dd jokes about being naked when she gets undressed for bath and obviously knows that "down there" is private as she sits on the settee watching TV and makes a point of in her words "covering up her bits".

Personally, I have no problem with nudity even though I never ever saw my parents in the nude. My father would have been horrified if I had but I guess that's a generation thing.

anniebear · 07/05/2006 18:57

DH and myself would get undressed in front of our 2 DD aged 4 and a half

wouldn't be able to dress if we didn't, they follow us round that much!!!!!!!!!!!!

zippitippitoes · 07/05/2006 19:00

I think it just happens naturally ..you don't particularly pinpoint a day eg there might be a Summer holiday when you all feel free and easy and then cold weather sets in and the next year it seems odd and never happens again

noddyholder · 07/05/2006 19:02

ds is 12 and we still are quite cool with it If it 'felt'wrong I would address but tbh I can never see it feeling wrong

marthamoo · 07/05/2006 19:06

Ds1 started to get embarrassed (and not just embarrassed - just a touch prurient as well, I guess that goes with the age) by my nudity about a year ago...he's 9 now. He doesn't quite know where to put himself if he walks in the bathroom and I'm in the shower etc. (I never lock the door - does anyone with kids lock the bathroom door Grin?) And he will shout through the bedroom door in the mornings to check if I'm in a state of undress before coming in. Ds2 (4.5) isn't bothered other than an unnerving obsession with my boobs - I try and avoid being naked in front of him as he will ask endless questions about my nipples and try and grab a handful.

Interestingly, ds1 is still fine with me seeing him naked - he still has a bath with his little brother so, obviously, I am there too. He is more conscious of other people seeing him than he used to be, though - he no longer runs about naked when grandparents etc are about and he draws his bedroom curtains before getting undressed - neither of which would have occured to him a year ago.

fattiemumma · 07/05/2006 19:13

my parents would always cover up and i dont think i ever saw anything more risque than my mums bra strap. there were so many of us at home (im the eldest of 10) that we all ended up being quite protective of our privacy.

so i was not a prude but i would be quite reserved about showing rudey bits in front of teh kids../...all that changed however when i was single. have you tried doing anything without them following you? so in the end i had to open the door atleast that way they would carry on playing as they coudl still see me.

i dont do the whole walk about nude thing but they do see me have a wee (draw the line at number 2's though) getting changed that sort of thing.

i think you will just know instinctivly when its time to be a bit more concervative.

serenity · 07/05/2006 19:20

I don't think my parents ever stopped being naked in front of me. They woudn't rush to cover up if I walked in the bathroom or bedroom whilst they were using them, and I was never embarrased by it as far as I recall. I think as I got into my teens I was more aware of giving them privacy, but if I did walk in it didn't freak me out in any way. If I'm round my Mum's now and she's just got out the shower or is getting dressed neither of us are bothered by partial nudity. Even my stepDad has seen me wandering around in my underwear!

When I started developing I did get a bit embarrassed about them seeing me for a few years, well, until my late teens I think. I do remember the first time I noticed hair 'down there' I ran into their room and insisted they had a close look to see if they could see it too Blush

As for mine, DSs are almost 6 and 8, and as yet don't seem to be bothered by anyone's nudity. They do tend to keep their pants on around DD though, but that's because she laughs, and pokes!

Tortington · 07/05/2006 19:36

puberty.

normality is what you present.

fisil · 07/05/2006 19:40

Urm, well my parents don't really do nudity if dp is in the room, they tend to close the door first. But if me or my brothers or dss are in the room it isn't an issue. Do you think it will suddenly stop when I reach 40?

DP's mum, on the other hand, doesn't seem to hold the same inhibitions about me, and was wandering around our house with nothing at all on her top quite happily!

lou33 · 07/05/2006 19:41

just started covering up in front of the kids this year, well dd1 mainly who is now 14, but mainly because i was fed up being barged in on without warning when i was getting changed

Adorabelle · 07/05/2006 20:12

My dh & I have no qualms bout walking round
nude, our dd is only 2 though. My mum never felt
the need to cover herself up when I was around &
she was getting in/out of bath or undressing. Will be the same with my dd too, a naked body is
certainly not something to be ashamed of, so why
cover it up all the time. If she got embarresed bout seeing her dad & I nude when she was older I
guess out of respect for her I would cover up as
woud he. We're not nudist either!!

hex · 07/05/2006 20:50

oh I'm so glad this thread came up cause I posted on another a couple of weeks ago about dh feeling a touch uncomfortable (I'm not) about him co-sleeping with our dd1 (aged 5)(none of us do pyjamas). It was more about what she might blurt out at school than anything else. I am relatively comfortable with her seeing us in the nude and I want her to have a really healthy attitude towards nudity. She dislikes being clothed anyway and will throw them off at the first opportunity. We've had builders in this past few months tho and I've found myself having to remind her to put clothes on (I don't like the idea of her being naked in front of strange builders in the house). She does seem fairly okay with nudity though generally. She asked me the other day if, when she gets older, she will have hair there too!
One thing I do feel myself being slightly anxious about is when she goes to visit other school friends and invariably they all end up with no clothes on cause they're playing dressing up. I don't know who will be there and have little control over this. Any tips over handling this one while still maintaining a healthy attitude to nudity? (I've tried the 'here it's okay but not in other people's houses' but it doesn't work)

hex · 07/05/2006 20:50

oh I'm so glad this thread came up cause I posted on another a couple of weeks ago about dh feeling a touch uncomfortable (I'm not) about him co-sleeping with our dd1 (aged 5)(none of us do pyjamas). It was more about what she might blurt out at school than anything else. I am relatively comfortable with her seeing us in the nude and I want her to have a really healthy attitude towards nudity. She dislikes being clothed anyway and will throw them off at the first opportunity. We've had builders in this past few months tho and I've found myself having to remind her to put clothes on (I don't like the idea of her being naked in front of strange builders in the house). She does seem fairly okay with nudity though generally. She asked me the other day if, when she gets older, she will have hair there too!
One thing I do feel myself being slightly anxious about is when she goes to visit other school friends and invariably they all end up with no clothes on cause they're playing dressing up. I don't know who will be there and have little control over this. Any tips over handling this one while still maintaining a healthy attitude to nudity? (I've tried the 'here it's okay but not in other people's houses' but it doesn't work)

hex · 07/05/2006 20:51

oh I'm so glad this thread came up cause I posted on another a couple of weeks ago about dh feeling a touch uncomfortable (I'm not) about him co-sleeping with our dd1 (aged 5)(none of us do pyjamas). It was more about what she might blurt out at school than anything else. I am relatively comfortable with her seeing us in the nude and I want her to have a really healthy attitude towards nudity. She dislikes being clothed anyway and will throw them off at the first opportunity. We've had builders in this past few months tho and I've found myself having to remind her to put clothes on (I don't like the idea of her being naked in front of strange builders in the house). She does seem fairly okay with nudity though generally. She asked me the other day if, when she gets older, she will have hair there too!
One thing I do feel myself being slightly anxious about is when she goes to visit other school friends and invariably they all end up with no clothes on cause they're playing dressing up. I don't know who will be there and have little control over this. Any tips over handling this one while still maintaining a healthy attitude to nudity? (I've tried the 'here it's okay but not in other people's houses' but it doesn't work)

hex · 07/05/2006 20:52

oh I'm so glad this thread came up cause I posted on another a couple of weeks ago about dh feeling a touch uncomfortable (I'm not) about him co-sleeping with our dd1 (aged 5)(none of us do pyjamas). It was more about what she might blurt out at school than anything else. I am relatively comfortable with her seeing us in the nude and I want her to have a really healthy attitude towards nudity. She dislikes being clothed anyway and will throw them off at the first opportunity. We've had builders in this past few months tho and I've found myself having to remind her to put clothes on (I don't like the idea of her being naked in front of strange builders in the house). She does seem fairly okay with nudity though generally. She asked me the other day if, when she gets older, she will have hair there too!
One thing I do feel myself being slightly anxious about is when she goes to visit other school friends and invariably they all end up with no clothes on cause they're playing dressing up. I don't know who will be there and have little control over this. Any tips over handling this one while still maintaining a healthy attitude to nudity? (I've tried the 'here it's okay but not in other people's houses' but it doesn't work)

Piffle · 07/05/2006 20:56

my ds is 12 and I've just started to warn him if I'm sleeping in the buff and need to get out of bed or whatever...
It started feeling uncomfy for me about 6 mth ago, he has suddenly gone from innocent young lad to girlfriended pre teen.
So my time is up Grin

Piffle · 07/05/2006 20:58

although funny one here is...
my mum (always bizarre) got so sick of my younger brother and his mates ( they were about 14-15) kept talking about tits, this and tits that... What size is this one, what size is that one - pammie anderson and the like, sports illustrated calendar evaluation
Mum flashed her top us and said well these are a c cup guys Shock
my brothers are still mates witha s lot of these guys and they visit us all a lot as they are so close and good friends to us all.
They still all giggle...

Blu · 07/05/2006 21:13

My Mum never started covering-up in front of us - and last night I noticed that my dad didn't bother to wear anything when he went to the bathroom after they had gone to bed.
If Ds ever looks uncomfortable, I'll spare him!

QE · 07/05/2006 21:31

Never an issue in a naturist household. Smile

Sandy01299 · 07/05/2006 22:50

Perhaps kids just reach a time that they decide for themselves. My husband is always careful but not prudish in front of our boys, but I just don't bother. I grew up in a 'private' house, but it was too much like hard work to stay private from my sons, and as they don't have a sister to compare themselves with, they see me and can see the differences for themselves. I really don't want them to be the ones tittering in the school yard.
My 6 year old will leave the room to change into PJ's if we have visitors, but is fine with us. He just seems to have determined a time for himself. I am now heavily pregnant and they love to see their new little brother wobbling about under my skin.
They come and go when I'm at the loo, but somehow have learnt to respect their father's privacy, and as for number two's, who wants anyone opening the door letting the stink out!!

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 07/05/2006 22:54

dds are 5 and 4. I waver a bit now. Sometimes I don't care, sometimes when one of them has stolled into the loo when I'm sitting on it I find myself thinking, hold on a minute, how did I get like this? and tell them to hop it.

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