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Original poster

Parental nudity - when does it stop being acceptable?

77 replies

Noggermum · 07/05/2006 18:36

I have two Ds's age 1 and 3 and I freely shower, bath, dress in front of them. This is absolutely not an issue and it would not even cross my mind to close the loo door. At some stage in the future though, i suppose we will have to exercise a little more caution - for the kids embarrassment as much as our own! I appreciate that all kids and every family situation is different - but what's everyone else's view of when parental nudity stops being acceptable, or when it becomes a bit embarrassing (for either party)? Does gender make a difference? Any views (or funny stories) mumsnetters? Would stress that we are not "social nudists" - am just talking about getting dressed etc - naturism is a whole different ballgame that I don't want to get into on this thread!!!

OP posts:
busybusybee · 07/05/2006 23:00

I cover up in front of ds who is 4. I am too self conscious, and cant bear the way he studies me Shock

QE Are you a naturist then?

QE · 07/05/2006 23:01

Yep. Whole family is.

PrettyCandles · 08/05/2006 18:57

My two study me & dh (but more me, I think) and they ask questions too. Frankly, I find it vaguely flattering - they make no value judgements, and aren't prejudiced in any way. How often does a size 20 woman, stretch-marked, thread-veined, floppy and palid, find herself an object of uncritical, genuine interest? Of course they can be 'brutally' honest, but brutal according to whom? It doesn't offend me that they say what they see.

Greensleeves · 08/05/2006 18:58

I agree Prettycandles. ds1 (3) said to dh the other day "Mummy's very beautiful, isn't she Daddy?" I am of course about as beautiful as a bowl of three-week-old dog chow. But it was sweet Grin

misdee · 08/05/2006 18:59

atm it isnt a problem here. tho i was nude the other day, and dd3 toddled over and latched on. made me chuckle. she also inspects the older 2 nipples witha puzzled look on her face.

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 08/05/2006 19:15

she latched on and also inspects the older 2 nipples???!!! do you have 3 then misdee? and how come one of them is younger? better than my recent naked experience. dd2 told me I was having a baby. no dear, that's the christmas pudding that I still haven't shifted Blush

fullmoonfish · 08/05/2006 19:25

I was wondering this. Ds2 (8) doesn't like other strange kids to see him partially dressed (covers up at swimming etc) but is fine with stripping off in front of his mates and fine with us being nude, and today, threw himself in the bath with me - it was nice, to have him in one place long enough to have proper chat with him.
I guess we'll take our lead from him.

Blunderwoman · 08/05/2006 19:30

DS is two and a half and my nephew is now 13 and I've always been comfortable not wearing anything in front of both of them! Mine is a big squashy body that DS likes to use as a super-comfy pillow and I'm happy with that! Grin

Rach69 · 08/05/2006 20:10

I think they will let me know! Ds1 is 12 and still wanders around bottomless after a shower - when he starts feeling self-concious, I will shut the bathroom door!

Original poster
Noggermum · 09/05/2006 13:49

All v. interesting. Most definitely seems to be the kids calling the shots on this one (though I'm not surprised us ladies don't give a hoot about nudity after the indignity of childbirth!)

getting the impression that the blokes are finding the nudity thing harder than the ladies, but again, that's probably not surprising as people are more likely to raise eyebrows at the mention of a naked bloke around kids than a naked lady. 'Tis a sad world we live in.

Will wait and see when my girls tell me to cover up.........

OP posts:
fairyjay · 09/05/2006 14:44

My ds was happy to be seen in the nude until around 12, and my dd until around 11 - so they both became 'private' at pretty much the same time.

I am told 'don't come in, I'm in the shower', but they think nothing of walking in to me in the shower. I try not to flaunt, but not hide either!

shimmy21 · 09/05/2006 15:03

Ds2 is 7 and refuses to enter our bedroom unless I have properly covered myself. he wont even get into bed next to me for a cuddle unless I make sure my nightie is well down to my knees. The other day I was dressing as he chatted to me and he carried on talking as though nothing was happening but with his eyes scrunched up shut.

This comes entirely from him. I've always thought that I would be quite comfortable to dress etc in front of him for a few years yet but he has totally called the shots and now I feel I need to dress in privacy for him not for me. (He's totally happy to be naked in front of me still.)

It actually started a year or 2 ago when he was 5. I used to have a bath with him every now and then but one day he told me not to get in because 'you've got boobies.' Not had a bath with him since Sad

sottovoce · 09/05/2006 20:29

My parents were (and still are) very nudey. We used to sit on the loo seat and chat to both of them in the bath (not together Grin). When I am in the bath, am happy for them to come in and chat. Ditto sister, niece etc. Dh and I wander around naked and will do unless / until DD feels uncomfortable with it. DH has never seen either of his parents naked and was brought up to think that naked was wrong, so we are trying hard not to bring DD up like that.

figroll · 10/05/2006 09:59

My DH isn't fussed about being naked in front of both our dds (14 and 11). They seem used to it!! My older dd sometimes tells him to "get his knickers on", but we take the p*ss out of him. We are all pretty naked in our house, mainly because we only have one bathroom and I can't lock people out of it just because I am in the shower. Getting ready in the morning would take forever. I cover up though when I get out.

NotActuallyAMum · 10/05/2006 10:11

Haven't read the whole thread but just thought I'd share this with you....

My sister's DH decided he'd better stop when their dd was 7. He had a vasectomy and she asked him "Daddy why is it all big and blue round your tonky?"

Grin
MMG · 10/05/2006 12:28

thought this was intresting...my hubby and i are ok about being nude infront of our 2 year old but recently he started pionting and laughing when he sees me getting undressed and at one stage tried to grab my boobs...wasn`t sure really what to do or say...so i tried to just ignore this but any ideas????

sandyballs · 10/05/2006 13:38

I don't cover up in front of my DDs (5), I'm quite happy to wander around naked and they don't bat an eyelid generally, although one did stand in the bathroom watching me shower recently and said "mummy I love you much more when you're dressed" Blush. DH is a bit more prudish though.

muppety · 10/05/2006 14:42

Me and mum are still happy to walk in on each other in the bath/shower etc. With my dad it stopped at puberty I think. Even with my brother we would walk in on each other as teenagers. There is a gender difference I guess. I assume that the ds's will be more likely to let DH see them naked at 15 than me!

MrsBigD · 10/05/2006 15:06

haven't had a chance to read all the posts but we got brought up VERY liberally including naturalist holiday camp sites Grin. Still not worried if we walk in on each other starkers.

What I wouldn't give for having the bathroom to myself though occassionally LOL DD (4.5y) and ds (19m) have a tendency to join me. And what's worse... both of them seem to have made a sport trying to 'jiggle my boobies'!!! Grin

izzybiz · 10/05/2006 18:43

When i was akid everyone was very open in our house. No one batted an eyelid at seeing any one else naked.

I got to an age though where i would cover up in front of my dad, although it still wouldnt bother me now if i saw him naked, hes my dad not a man, IYKWIM.

Im the same now i have my own kids, my son still sees me, and hes 13, but hes just started to cover himself. He will show me if hes worried about anything though.

I would start covering myself in front of him if i thought he was getting embarrased by it.
Same goes for DD, but shes only 2 so i dont think i need to worry yet!

BonyM · 10/05/2006 19:09

DD1 is 8 and I still wander around naked in front of her (not all the time Grin, but if just out of bed, for example).

Dh and I always sleep naked and dd1 will come into bed with us at the weekend, although dh always makes certain she doesn't see his "bits" - makes sure to hold his dressing gown in the strategic place when getting out of bed etc. He is her stepfather though so don't know if this makes him more sensitive about it. DD1 doesn't seem to care though - she barges in on him in the bath sometimes and he often has to tell her to give him some privacy when he's trying to get dressed!

spidermama · 10/05/2006 19:11

No time to read thread as have to do bedtime but my mum still goes naked in front of me. My dad doesn't but he left us all when I was 13. My mum is also happy to go naked in front of my brother and he doesn't bat an eyelid. (She's 67 btw).

Mirage · 10/05/2006 22:58

DD1 is 2.5 & She sees me naked most mornings.She has been known to tell me that she can see my bottom as I haven't got a nappy on.

Todays comment to dh was even better though.He was sitting on the sofa in his bathrobe,legs wide open & dd1 pointed at his bits & said 'Daddy have you done a poo?'Daddy went scarlet & explained that it wasn't a poo,but it was part of his bottom.Grin

liquoriceallsorts · 10/05/2006 23:03

My ds is 12 and dd 14 (plus newest ds 1!) - the oldest ds has decided that me being naked in front of him is now totally unacceptable. Covers face and shrieks - didn't think I was that bad! This is when he enters MY bedroom and I am dressing, just come out of the shower, etc. Have pointed out its my room. Topless and bottomless are both equally unacceptable with the great line "For God sake your my mother!".

vkone · 11/05/2006 09:17

Must admit, we don't even have a lock on the bathroom door, I live in fear of DS (2) locking himself in (he's quite dextrous), it is nice tho when he's at Grandma's to have a shower or a pee without him wandering in (he WILL waft the door back and forth, letting all the cold air in!)

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