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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

Parental nudity - when does it stop being acceptable?

77 replies

Noggermum · 07/05/2006 18:36

I have two Ds's age 1 and 3 and I freely shower, bath, dress in front of them. This is absolutely not an issue and it would not even cross my mind to close the loo door. At some stage in the future though, i suppose we will have to exercise a little more caution - for the kids embarrassment as much as our own! I appreciate that all kids and every family situation is different - but what's everyone else's view of when parental nudity stops being acceptable, or when it becomes a bit embarrassing (for either party)? Does gender make a difference? Any views (or funny stories) mumsnetters? Would stress that we are not "social nudists" - am just talking about getting dressed etc - naturism is a whole different ballgame that I don't want to get into on this thread!!!

OP posts:

MrsBigD · 11/05/2006 10:15

mirage :)

our DD very cleverly deduced a long time ago that mama and her have 'inni bits' and papa & ds have 'outi bits'. We're now working on the 'privates are private' which is a bit of a challenge as she's a 4.5yo exhibitionst

clairemow · 11/05/2006 11:52

Our DS (2 next week) has great fun in the shower pointing at 'L's little willy' and 'Daddy's big willy'. Caused great amusement once in the changing rooms at the swimming pool (family room), when he tried to pull Daddy's off, shouting 'Daddy's big willy' - and the laughter wasn't only in our cubicle...

He hasn't noticed yet that there's a difference between girls and boys though.

A friend of mine's boy (4) asked his mum whether her willy was hidden in her 'nest', which I thought was a good one too.

don't see a problem with nudity really, although guess as they grow up it might be more awkward. I remember being really shy and reserved after puberty, and would never appear without clothes in front of my parents/brother.

diddle · 11/05/2006 11:58

I don't have any children yet, but i remember when i was younger, all of my family would often shower or use the toilet in front of one another, we did only have one bathroom though. It started to become more uncomfortable, more so around my dad when i started developing more, and so i would close the door and he knew not to come in. I think you'll know when your children or you become uncomfortable then its time.

johnnys123 · 26/05/2006 21:57

I along with my wife grew up in very prudish households where nudity was not allowed. Upon marriage we decided to give nudism a try at home of course. So for the first year, the only time we dressed was for work and we became very comfortable that way, one year later a son was born and up until age 5 we both stayed nude but after that I stopped. My wife however believes it's her house, her body and it's he who should get used to her because after all she's his mother and he should respect her wishes. Now 18 years later he still shrieks and howls if he barges in our bedroom and she's in the midst of changing clothes. Now we have two more children, daughters 13 and 9. The thirteen is a prude and when we do get the son out of the house for the evening we like to be nude. She says she dosent mind and we go about life as normal. She stays dressed by choice however and we respect that. My 9 year old joins right in on the fun and is not affected one way or the other. We never lock our bedroom or bathroom doors and all at one point or another are in various stages of dress and undress and I can honestly say our home would be much happier if everyone just felt about their bodies the way we do about ours, but as an earlier thread stated, puberty seems to bring changes that teens are not particulary proud of especially girls. But none the less I would not have changed a thing about how we have raised our kids.

sugarfree · 26/05/2006 22:03

Don't know that your 13 year old daughter deserves to ba called a "prude" simply for choosing to keep her clothes on tbh.

geekgrrl · 26/05/2006 22:40

my parents were always extremely open about nudity and we'd only go to naturist beaches on holiday, and always visited a naturist health club at the weekend. I never really gave it a second thought until I was about 11 and it suddenly all seemed totally, utterly cringeworthy. I still prefer to keep covered on the beach now.

Ulysees · 26/05/2006 22:44

my mate, her dh, 22 and 16 dss and her 8 yr old dd all walk round naked at bathtime. Her dh is a control freak and they have tea at a certain time and bath at a certain time, very odd. Mate once told me she went to get in the bath whilst her son was in as he wouldn't get out to let her run one.

My dss are 8 and 5 and still see me naked but DS1 is starting to look a bit too much so think I'll have to cover up more? It's hard to know what to do for the best?

MrsDoolittle · 26/05/2006 22:46

When you find yourself thinking "Ewwwwwwwww" when you see your naked parents.

martian · 26/05/2006 22:59

I'm glad this thread is here because I've been wondering about this issue. My dd is only 4 and loves being nude, in fact I'm more bothered about her desire to take her clothes off anywhere and everywhere than anything else so I've been trying to get her to understand that some parts of her body are private unless she's with me and dp or someone close to us.

As for us, we both had very staunch non-nude parents so I'm quite self-conscious about being nude although I'm happy for dd to see me dress or in the bath. I don't walk around nude but I never did even pre-dd. Dp however loves being nude and sleeps naked. He feels more comfortable slipping on some pants when dd's around.

I thought I read somewhere that for same sex parents the more nudity the better but for opposite sex parents you should start to cover up a bit when the children are around 3 years old.

trinityrhino · 27/05/2006 08:14

haven;t read the whole thread but few things we do/think

we don't don pj's and dh slips on some shorts if dd1 5 comes into bed (prbably from about 4)
we both walk around naked from bathroom t bed and when getting dressed, don't mnake an effort to cover up infront of dd's
I assume that there will be a time that they will want to cover themselves up and want privacy and we will give them that but will probably still not cover ourselves up, there seems no need.

shinypeople · 05/06/2006 23:01

my dd is 7 and boys are 5 and 2. Both hubby and i walk around naked in front of the kids and share a bath with the kids (if they ask to jump in).

I am happy until they start laughing and pointing;. At that point i will cover up

brimfull · 05/06/2006 23:09

haven't read the thread so apologies if I'm repeating anyone.
I think you should cover up if and when the child begins to feel uncomfortable.My dd was uncomfortable seeing dh naked years ago,probably about 7 or 8.I however flaunt my wobbly body as ds is too young to care and dd isn't embarassed .I haven't seen her naked for yrs though.

monkeytrousers · 05/06/2006 23:12

DS (20 mnths) is obsessed with my lady garden... hasn't had a trim since he was pulled out of the veggie patch though

sorkycake · 05/06/2006 23:56

Dh stopped bathing with dd (4) when she drew a picture of him with a 'big fat tail' and proudly pointed the bits out on the picture to my mum in front of him, PMSL now at my mum PHSL at Dh.

UCM · 06/06/2006 00:14

I am glad about this thread as my DS 2.8 gets into bed with us and we don't do pj's. I was wondering if it was ok to cuddle my son without clothes and whether I should put a nightie on....

I have never even seen my mums bra strap, we were encouraged to lock doors/cover up from a very early age. Dh doesn't like Ds coming into the bed unless he has pants on.

UCM · 06/06/2006 00:16

Oh and best ever, I had my arm around the back to the chair with DS sitting in the other day with a vest on and he pointed to the hair under my arm and said 'mummys flowers unner arms'. Gawd.

newzealand1981 · 03/03/2011 22:24

I grew up not in a naturist house but we were all fairly open which I think is best really. I would jump in the bath with mum or dad most nights I guess till about age 10. mum and dad both walked round nude in morning after shower nip down to make coffee etc. Also would hop into bed parents nude me with pjs on.
I think best to stay open and naked until the kids start to look embarrassed ?

inchoccyheaven · 04/03/2011 10:18

My 10 and 8 yr old sons still come into the bathroom if I am in the shower or if I am getting dressed and although 10 yr old sometimes raises his eyebrows at me being naked it doesn't bother me. He doesn't mind me seeing him naked either. On the other hand 8 yr old son is very private and doesn't like anyone seeing him naked or even partially dressed and hasn't done for years so we respect his decision and keep out of his room when he is changing or showering.
DH doesn't like any of us seeing him naked when he is in the bathroom or getting dressed. Although he is quite happy being naked for nooky :o

Cat98 · 04/03/2011 11:03

No problems with it here, DS is neearly 3. I wear pjs to bed though but DH sleeps naked - we co sleep with DS for part of the night and I was wondering at what stage DH should wear shorts or something?

twopeople · 06/03/2011 14:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Rannaldini · 06/03/2011 14:52

nekkid is good

ushush · 10/06/2013 07:59

Seems this topic comes up a lot. So as a dd still living at home all I can say is it has never been an issue at home at all. In bedrooms, bathrooms and sleeping everyone at home is nude. We always have open doors unless we are enjoying some private time with the one we love. We always put something on to go downstairs generally.

I only vaguely recall curiosity about dad's body when I was 4/5, but never an issue joining parents in bed as a child or being in the shower room with them and my sister. As for developing and puberty I was proud and liked showing them how I was becoming adult.

I am pretty normal (I think), so be relaxed, it is perfectly normal, but I guess you have to do what you are comfortable with.

welshfirsttimemummy · 10/06/2013 08:34

My mum carried on being naked when changing/bathing/going to the loo until I moved out! Was never embarrassed, but a little surprised sometimes

QuietNinjaTardis · 10/06/2013 08:51

I don't live at home anymore but if I'm at mums we are still not bothered if one of us is getting changed or something. Dh and I walk around naked when getting ready and will probably carry on for as long as ds is happy. He is only 3 so not bothered at all. He's aware that daddy has a willy and that mummy doesn't but knows nothing further than that so far.

rubiesandpearls · 10/06/2013 12:15

Around age 8 I decided I didnt like to see my mum naked anymore and told her this a lot but she still insisted on doing it.
I wanted my own privacy younger but she would always try and get me undressed in front of her.
In fact, she would get pretty mad at the idea of us not wanting to be naked buddies or something
Our relationship has never been the same since!

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