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Original poster

So dd doesn't want nappies at night any more ... but I don't think she's ready yet

89 replies

WigWamBam · 03/05/2006 12:14

There's no way on earth she can go through the night. Her nappy is always wringing wet in the morning, and when I ask her if she's awake when she wees she says no. We have reminded her (gently!) over and over again that she has a potty in her bedroom, or she can go to the toilet, but she has never used either. About 9 months ago she asked to try without nappies, managed one dry night, then was wet for the next 7 nights and got so distressed that she begged for nappies again.

When I went in this morning she had taken her nappy off at some point - not long before, I think, as it was dripping wet - and she told me that "I'm too old for a nappy. I want to do it properly like you do, without having to wear a horrible wet nappy".

What do I do? I'm really torn - I hate to set her up for failure, but I know that she's not ready to be dry at night. But I also hate to refuse her something she's so keen to try. I know about the hormone that's meant to kick in to keep them dry at night, and I have been happy to keep her in nappies until she is ready, but what now?

I know that many people swear by lifting but that is not an option - she's nearly 5 and a big girl, so heavy to lift, plus she wakes very easily and takes ages to get back to sleep again. I also think that taking her to wee in her sleep isn't going to train her not to wee in her sleep, if you get my drift.

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

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Enid · 03/05/2006 12:25

definitely go for it! She sounds totally ready. Assume that she will do it!

Nemo1977 · 03/05/2006 12:25

Aww WWB no suggestions at all but sympathy. My ds is 2.6 and screams when we have to put his night nappy on so can only imagine a near 5 yr old..bless her. Is there anyway you can try a week again and sort of say if you manage to stay dry 4 nights out of the week we will stay without the nappy? Then increase it every 2 weeks.

Original poster

WigWamBam · 03/05/2006 12:27

I'd love to assume she's ready ... the soaking wet nappies every morning are what make me think I'd be setting her up to fail - it wouldn't matter to me, but it would matter to her.

I have to let her decide though, don't I - I can't go easily against what she wants.

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Enid · 03/05/2006 12:29

she probably does a wee just as she wakes up

mine never had dry nappies in the morning - dd2 is dry at night and she is only 3.5 - she begged not to have nappies like your dd

Original poster

WigWamBam · 03/05/2006 12:31

Nemo, she's really good about having her nappy on, which I guess is one good thing. But with her having taken it off in the night I'm starting to think that she'll just take it off when I've left the room, even if I do insist she puts it on.

I'm going to have to let her try, aren't I.

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Original poster

WigWamBam · 03/05/2006 12:32

Really, Enid? There's hope then ...

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bundle · 03/05/2006 12:32

dd1 did this too (when she was 4 and a bit), never had a dry nappy but wanted to try and had thrush which gp thought might have been encouraged by all the dampness. we used to lift her but i understood this wasn't a good idea to help her bladder to learn for itself (ie i did it to improve her self-esteem as well as save on washing ). now (she'll be 6 this summer) she wets occasionally, we used pampers bedmats and i keep a spare one along with a clean sheet on top of her drawers so changing in the middle of the night isn't too disruptive. we put her on the loo before she goes to bed too and limit what she drinks after 5pm or so. she has relapsed a couple of times too (wetting almost every night) and sometimes it's been for specific reasons (eg threadworms, before i've seen the blighters this is often the first sign) and other times it's just out of the blue when she's tired/worried.

Original poster

WigWamBam · 03/05/2006 12:35

Bundle, dd suffers with recurrent thrush too so getting rid of the nappy would only be a good thing from that point of view. Not sure I could limit her drinks after 5pm though, but it would be worth a try to get her started.

I'm just being a big wuss, aren't I

OP posts:

sandyballs · 03/05/2006 12:35

Wet nappies in the morning don't necessarily mean she isn't ready WWB. My DH forgot to put a nappy on our twin DDs when they were about 3.5 ish and they were dry the next morning. We had a couple of wet nights over the next few weeks but nothing much.

Blu · 03/05/2006 12:37

DS's nappies weren't dry at night when he told us emphatically that he didn't want to wear a nappy any more, a short while after he was reliable during the day. We were v sceptical (but did our best not toshow it) and let him go without. He was fine, give or take the v occasional accident. But unfortunately, I think the experience of an uncomfortabe accident is what makes them self-training, iyswim.

Get a waterproof sheet, put a thick towel on top, and then the bedsheet.

Original poster

WigWamBam · 03/05/2006 12:38

I'd had a half thought that I might tell her that if she had dry nappies for the next few days then she could try, but maybe that's not the way to approach it, if not having dry nappies doesn't necessarily mean they're not ready.

OP posts:

bundle · 03/05/2006 12:38

wwb, you don't have to stop her drinking, just ease off or give her a big drink say after school and then only an inch or so of water or milk in a cup with tea. I can totally relate to you being wussy over this, it's a big deal. i have a feeling dd2 is going to be a bit easier, she had a dry nappy the first few nights after day-time training (now back to wet ones but she's only just 3)

oh and use a sticker chart, the psychology of the whole bladder thing is a bit mystical.

elliott · 03/05/2006 12:38

at this thread.

secur · 03/05/2006 12:41

WWB go for it! Mine never had dry nappies but went dry when I took the nappy away without fuss. The only way you will know is if she tries it out and if it fails you will be there to support her with lots of encouregment the way you were last time. THe only way she will get to being ready is if she gives it a go - and is not scared to try again if it all goes wrong this time.

You are just the person to give her that confidence - you know you are so let her try, you never know it might be the right time for her now.

Original poster

WigWamBam · 03/05/2006 12:44

I've got to do it, haven't I ... she was just so gutted last time and I hate the thought of setting her up for that again.

But we don't know until she tries ... OK. So I'm taking a deep breath, then I'm going to put the waterproof cover on her bed. And then I'm going to put loads of sheets in the washing machine!

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secur · 03/05/2006 12:45

good on you WWB, at some point in time it will come right for her - and wo knows, this may be that time!

Original poster

WigWamBam · 03/05/2006 12:46

It might be the right time for her, but I'm a gibbering mess already and it's not even bedtime yet!!

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secur · 03/05/2006 12:48

lol ahh the lot we parents have to bear just think tomorrow you are going to wake up with a jump wondering what is wrong because you didn't have to get up to change a bed or anything and you will realise how much you have wound yourself up today!

(positive thinking - works for me!)

bundle · 03/05/2006 12:49

try to be matter of fact about it, build in some rewards too

Original poster

WigWamBam · 03/05/2006 12:51

Thanks! Silly thing is that I'm winding myself up on her behalf not mine ... I don't mind if she wakes up needing changing, I don't mind if I have to get up every night for a week. I'm worried that she will mind.

I think I think too much

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Original poster

WigWamBam · 03/05/2006 12:52

Bundle, she will have the reward to end all rewards even just for trying. We've had a lot of toilet problems, which (touch wood) all seem to be starting to resolve now, and she will get the mother of all presents if this works!

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fennel · 03/05/2006 12:54

both my dds never had dry nappies at night but both insisted on coming out of night nappies a couple of weeks after being dry in the day - both at just over 2. they were absolutely fine at night straight away, but if we'd waited for the dry nappy test we could have waited years I suspect.

Original poster

WigWamBam · 03/05/2006 13:02

Thanks everyone. I am going to take the plunge tonight and see how we go ... I will be back tomorrow morning either cheering from the rooftops or sobbing into my tea! Dh will think I'm mad him but as he's not here tonight, what he doesn't know won't hurt him, and once it's done then it's done.

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starlover · 03/05/2006 13:25

wwb, haven't read all thread so sorry if i repeat stuff.

but i'd give it a go. she may still wet because she feels more relaxed in the nappy, and subconsciously knows that it ddoesn't matter iyswim?

this is probably TMI but I normally move around a LOT in my sleep, but when i am on my period i don't (i have v heavy periods and used to leak a lot at night!) and I often wake in the night when i have it as well. So, my sleeping is v. different when on my period.
it might be a similar thing for dd... knowing taht she doesn't ahve a nappy on.

you could also do a reward chart for each night she is dry

starlover · 03/05/2006 13:26

ooh and i picked up this tip from twiglett on another thread...

when you make up her bed do waterproof, then a sheet, then another waterproof then another sheet.

that way if she wets in the night you can just strip the top layer and put her straight back

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