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Parenting

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Original poster

Tell me some good things about having 2 little ones under the age of 2....

22 replies

MrsRV · 24/01/2013 20:21

Hubby & I having been talking about having another baby for a while, DD is 10 months old and an angel child. I keep seeing lots of "I'm at breaking point" threads. Which is quite scary. Tell me some good things? Please?? Or is "getting it over with" as good as it gets?

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frazzledbutcalm · 24/01/2013 20:41

I don't think age difference matters too much to be honest. Mine are 19, 13, 9, 7. So we have an age gap between each child of 5yrs, 3yrs, 21 months. Each gap has its advantages and disadvantages. My only advice would be DO NOT expect to get another angel child
Ds1 was angel, text book, great, easy. Shock to my system when devil child dd1 came along! It took me 6 months to realise I could not break this childs will, and had to accept that she is what she is, I cannot change her, I have just manage her. Dd2 came along and was good. Ds2 was also good. I think it's not the gap that makes the difference, its the personality of each child.
good bits though - days out are easier as they're both roughly at the same level so what's suitable for 1 is usually suitable for the other.
They can be closer as they're closer in age.
Bedtimes are great as they both go at the same time! They will bathe together and read bedtime story together so bedtime routine is done and dusted, 2 for the price of 1 so to speak!

nextphase · 24/01/2013 20:45

Well, we only had 2 under 2 for 3 days.
Yes, it was hard work, but the boys adore each other (3.8 and 1.8 now).
They both enjoy similar things, unlike next door, where I keep hearing the 6 yr old ask when his baby sister will be able to play football with him

Its not a mad thing to do, but will be tough at times - but when aren't kids hard work?

Goldrill · 25/01/2013 20:19

DD1 is 2.2 and DD2 is 14 weeks. It's a bloody nightmare. I seriously wouldn't recommend it. I would not have believed it could be quite this bad if someone had told me beforehand however; it is probably better to just do it and think about it afterwards!

That said, DD2 is now going to bed at 7:30ish so we are getting our evenings back and that's helping a lot. I can see light at the end of the tunnel, and the good thing about it being a second baby is that you know the bad bit is really, really short in the greater scheme of things. DD1 adores her little sister and has made the transition with relatively few problems so far - this is not the case for everyone, I think!

My main advice would be that if you're still BF the first, try and stop before the second arrives. DD1 still has a morning and evening feed which she doesn't really need but insists on and now is not the time to withdraw it from her - I wish I'd done it before the baby arrived.

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SummerRainIsADistantMemory · 25/01/2013 20:30

It's over quicker.

Dd and ds1 are 18 months apart, ds1&2 are 30 months apart.

Dd was 8 yesterday and ds2 is 4 in a few weeks. The toddler stuff is over and done and cone September I'll have 3 school age children and some semblance of normality. No more sleepless nights, no more dirty nappies, no more carrying a baby around. Just 3 lovely children who get on well most of the time as they're so close in age.

SKYTVADDICT · 25/01/2013 20:34

The first couple of years are a bit of a blur. Take lots of photos. My youngest 2 are 15 mths apart. They are now 4 and 5 and are best buddies with only a few squabbles here and there.

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 25/01/2013 20:47

Ds1 is 2.3 and DS2 9m. The last 9m have flown by, I haven't really had chance to think about it being hard
Now DS2 is properly on the move, its so adorable to watch them play together :)

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte · 25/01/2013 22:06

DD and DS are 18 months apart... it's both exhausting and wonderful. Now at 3.4 and 19mo they are so fond of and affectionate with and good at beating up one another, so close that it's lovely..

Happypiglet · 25/01/2013 22:16

DS1 and DS2 are 18 months apart and then DD came along 23 months later. Having two under two was fine actually (three under four was tough tho but not impossible).
My eldest still napped in the day which gave me two clear hours a day with DS2 and if he happened to be sleeping too then two hours on my own!
DS1 cannot remember life without DS2. DS2 cannot remember life without DD. We had zero jealousy. Because DS1 was still a baby i still had to treat him as such and so I don't think he ever felt left out.
we never had any time commitments. No school run, no pre school run so if we were still in PJs at 10am it didn't matter.
DS1 and 2 are in consecutive school years and have been almost inseparable since birth....well until DD was old enough to put a spanner in the works.
They are all at the same stage. I am not dragging a bored teenager to soft play nor making a young child ferry others to clubs.
And best of all they entertain each other by beating each other up

bigbuttons · 25/01/2013 22:18

Not sure really. my first 2 were 14 months apart and it was hard!

bigbuttons · 25/01/2013 22:18

then at one point I had 6 dc's 8years and under.That was hard too!

Happypiglet · 25/01/2013 22:20

PS my number 2 was my easiest and most laid back child and still is. DS1 was not difficult either so it doesn't necessarily follow that your number 2 will be difficult...... Now my number three is a whole other ball game!

Happypiglet · 25/01/2013 22:21

Wow big buttons......ouch!

NaturalBaby · 25/01/2013 22:24

No sibling rivalry. Ds1 was a model big brother, they were both very laid back and I found myself pretty much useless unless physically caring for them because they were so happy being together.

Ds1 was in a really good routine when ds2 arrived so baby fitted in perfectly. They both had an afternoon sleep every day so I had one too!

They are now 3 and 4 and there is bit of a power struggle going on but they are one academic school year apart so ds1 started school last September and ds2 will start this September. Ds2 is an August baby and having a big brother so close in age has really helped his language and development. He talked very early and has amazing language skills for his age, I have no worries about the fact that he is a summer baby.

I then went on to have 3 under 3's so it wasn't that terrible!

WifeofPie · 25/01/2013 22:26

I can't think of anything. Will come back as I'm sure there must be something...

FaresPlease · 25/01/2013 22:30

Definitely an element of getting it over with! But also, as others have said, they are close enough in age to enjoy similar activities together - one won't have grown out of soft-play before the other gets into it etc etc. And they can be so close, littles allies against the world (and against mum or dad when needs be!). And you are still 'geared up' for babies and toddlers, and in that phase iyswim. Rather than getting through the baby bit, moving into the slightly less intense older years, and then having another baby and having to start into the baby stuff all over again!!

My three are 19 months then 23 months apart, and are such a great wee team. It's been intense, definitely, but so, so worth it.

Alamaya · 26/01/2013 06:57

depends on the babys temprament (sp)

Mine are 18 month apart and yeah its hard.

Im lucky my 12 week old is a very laid back baby.
Im very unlucky my 12 week old is a very sick baby meaning i get admitted to hospital a lot.

If he was a well baby i would be laughing.

Im even crazy enough to already be thinking would 3 be so bad lol

If i would of had another with my daughters manner i wouldnt be so happy lol

SaraBellumHertz · 26/01/2013 07:04

My oldest are 14mths apart and whilst it was something if a struggle in the early days now at 7&8 it is great. They play with each other, keep each other occupied and although reluctant to admit it are best friends.

In fact despite having their own rooms and plenty of choices of beds (DD has a double and a day bed in her room, DS has bunk beds and we also have a spare room with a double) they squeeze together into one of the single beds on the bunk every night.

JerryLeadbetter · 26/01/2013 08:52

Mine are 15 months apart and it honestly hasn't been too bad. They are now 23 months and 8 months and things are getting easier- DS loves making DD laugh and they are starting to entertain each other!
My survival tip has been to make sure they have a good routine and this means putting them both down for a lunchtime nap at the same time so I have at least an hour to get housework done/recover! Hoping they will close as the grow up, and they will be in consecutive school years so can get my career back quicker providing we don't have anymore DCs that is!
Think you need to be quite an organised person otherwise you're more likely to struggle- the logistics of getting out and about with two tiny people and the amount of stuff they need is quite overwhelming at times.
Jealousy has never been an issue which is great and DS loves his sister.
I think a lot also depends on the temperament of your baby- DS was bloody hard work as a baby but DD had been a lot more laid back and had been a better sleeper which helps- think I would've found it a lot harder to have had DD then DS, would have been a shock!

JerryLeadbetter · 26/01/2013 08:56

Oh yes, and totally agree with still being in the 'baby zone' - we wanted kids close together as dont think I could face having 3 or 4 year gap and then go back to sleepless nights/nappies/buggies, hence why we prob wont have more!

Girlsville · 27/01/2013 13:13

Also have 15 month age gap and though first year was hard at times, there are many pros.nas others have said above because the oldest is literally still a baby when the new one arrives, she was still treated and cared for as a baby so no feelings of jealousy. I had a blissful year and a half of them both having lunchtime nap at same time, until dd1 started to drop hers in the ur up to turning 3. Lots of friends have 2 year age gaps and honestly I don't think that is any easier - a two year old is still very dependent, can't do much by the self but do have stronger awareness of what they want, don't want, etc so can be trickier.
Truth is, I think whatever age gap you have you will make it work and your oldest will adapt. Good luck!!

Missymoomum · 28/01/2013 06:32

My 2 are 18 months apart and i think by the time DD came along i'd prepared myself so much mentally that it was going to be hard work that actually it really wasn't that bad at all! DS was quite hard as a newborn and i found it much harder when he arrived but DD was definitely an easier baby (although whether that was because i felt more confident in my ability that time i'm not sure). Anyway they are now just 6 and 4.5 and they really are best friends. Obviously they do fall out and fight like all siblings but i love that they are close enough in age to like the same things and most of the time they play really nicely together. They also keep each other entertained! I think if i had another one now, then that would be hard as it really would be like starting again but having 2 close together, i was already dealing with nappies etc so i was already in that frame of mind iykwim.

EMS23 · 28/01/2013 06:57

Mine are 22 months apart, 2.2yo and 4mo right now. Both awful sleepers, both high needs. DD1 was crazy with jealousy for the first 3 months. I'm getting next to no sleep.

BUT...

Now that DD1 is calming down, it melts my heart to see the relationship between them developing. Little kisses, DD1's delight when DD2 laughs at her. DD2 looking for DD1.
I also have a 9yo DSS & the way the girls worship him is amazing to watch too.
The best bit though... I'm done! No more babies. Everyday that goes by and bag of newborn clothes/ Moses basket etc.. that I give away is a stage ticked off.

FWIW, I do sometimes wish I'd waited another year btwn my DD's but then it might have been just as hard for other reasons.

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