Further freakingly fantabulous adventures of the 40+ Mummies

[10000Fireflies]

For gorgeous, frolicking and fabulous 40-somethings to share the joys of becoming a Mummy, just a little bit later than most!! . Park your zimmer-frame next to your baby buggy, put your feet up, and come and join us in the snug.

Get your tin hat on... This subject comes up often and the threads are never pretty!

Indeed MrsW, I wasn't aware that the subject would be so explosive ! Oups... From now on and on MN I'm labelled 'bad mum, torturer' and who knows what other name ! I must be too naive sometimes and have to go out more often and confront myself with the world as it is, black and white with shadows of pink ! Anyway, how s every one ?
LRM, baby M is a true charmer. DS noticed baby M has chest muscles like his sister A, as he put it ! :) First day at work was good, had a 2 hour meeting and went home. Worked at home for the rest of the day. I like that, freedom to master the time, no guilt, if I get 2 or 3 more clients like that, I would consider myself very very very happy and grateful, it would be the best of both worlds. With my friend CM, A was absolutely fine. But her eyes are still of concerns, I will take her to the GP again this morning, both eyes have white discharge, a bit swollen but not itchy, not red inside, no fever, still cleaning with BMilk.
Somewhere, jaundice ? I can't remember if it takes a few days to clear ?
Chairman, you are amazing, you managed to hand express 90ml+ under 2 weeks of BF ? Hat off, my Lady. You don't need to be jealous of straight forward BF Mums, you are one of them and doing well, really well !

Good morning all! Good to hear from mrsw

I have to announce HUGE THANKS. I swaddled last night and she settled in the Moses basket! A piece of sleep advice that actually worked! After your advice I read up up on the pros and cons as i am a bit paranoid and they said in the hospital don't swaddle. It seems like there's a slight risk with swaddling but only if you start it late. I have to balance that with going mad with sleep deprivation trying to do it the NHS way (worked for ds but too much flailing arms here) or risk of cosleeping at this early age.

Anyway this is not negligible. In terms of my life this is huge. This isn't Facebook guys - this thread is the real deal in terms of what we talk about and how we affect each other.

bbd isn't freelancing wonderful? I know exactly what you mean about master if your time. When I began another freelancer said to me 'you'll love the freedom' and I remembered that every time I went for a coffee in the middle of the day or stopped early because dammit I've finished my work! Oh but then I had kids.

My exquisite little girl has pulled out a bit of shocker.... Projectile pooing. I think eagle you've been there? She hosed down the shelves by herchangingunit in the middle of the night. Lol - sorta.

scarecrow how are you doing? Not sure whether to talk to u on this thread or the other!

lrm glad you doing better yesterday - it's sorta nice when they sleep on you.... is it cause you need the time to do stuff?.

Xxx

Ps chairman so pleased it sound like you are ok and no hospital needed. Re bf I'm having trouble too - pain, bleeding. Hats off for expressing xx

Oh guys, when I say 90ml this is what I manage to express in a whole day, 10 painstaking ml at a time. I don't know how much longer I will carry on if I don't get my supply up. She won't latch at all now though. She's so greedy my drips aren't enough and she screams. I'm off to a BF support group this morning. I want to try everything to get supply and latching sorted before I give up.

somewhere glad the swaddling works. This thread and the pregnancy one have been amazing for practical support. It's great to share experiences with others and get encouragement. Nice when it makes a difference.

mrsw lovely to hear from you.

I'm really starting to feel a load better now. I've actually got some energy now and am engaging more with DS. I've missed him so much while I've been feeling crap, and all the months I had PGP and couldnt lift or carry him. Finally turning a corner. Yay for antibiotics!

Chairman, Somewhere, my BF consultant advised me to use Medela electric double pump. She said decide that one or 2 feeds in the 24 hours of a day will be FF given by someone else while Mum sits down to express. It does not matter how much milk you get in the first 3 days because the action of expressing is aimed to get an order to your brain, the supply will come and order delivered after 3 days ! The FF should or could be different ones from one day to the other. That worked really well for me. I was relieved that A got the quantity of milk she needed and I did not feel like a failure. So well that I have been EBF since week 3 and A still refuses to take any fluid from a bottle ! :( i wish I had met this consultant for DS, I mix fed him and he is a lively cuddly sweet little 4 yo.

Somewhere, I remember very well your comment re freelance and freedom. You are right, flexibility is so important when kids are in the picture !

babyScarecrow arrived early today. A boy!! 7lb 4oz. no name yet. dark hair and eyes. super long and spindly. apgar 9-10.
will return soon. until then enjoying reading xxx

scarecrow! Congratulations hon! I wasn't expecting that! A boy! This is so exciting! You must be waiting for your legs to get moving and wondering if you can walk to the loo and back. Isn't it great big smile on my face. Xx

Scarecrow, congratulations !!! Enjoy your little boy. Welcome to the world, baby Scarecrow. Be good with your Mum, sleep well today, she deserves a rest tonight.
I m getting the lounge ready for the new arrival !

Congratulations scarecrow ! [Flowers] What wonderful news to come back to from the wilds of Hampshire where I couldn't get Internet I missed you all. Will catch up on all news later today.

Congrats and we'll done scarecrow. What a lovely surprise! He sounds gorgeous. Hope you're feeling okay and getting lots of cuddles

Well, the BF support group was awful. It was just a social club full of women with older babies BFing away like naturals. There was only one other woman having problems and she was sat there crying her eyes out. I eventually managed to speak to the advisor. We tries to get DD latched, she fought and cried the whole time while the advisor talked at me (and was sniffy about me giving her formula) then she walked off saying 'keep trying and you'll be fine'. She clearly didn't know what to do to persuade DD to latch, which is fine. If we can't do it we can't do it, but at least have the integrity to say that rather than walk off. I left feeling like totally giving up. DH was furious when I came home upset. I will keep trying for another week but if either my lactation hasn't improved or I can't get her to latch I can't carry on. Once my DH is back at work and I have 2 kids to look after its just not feasible.

Vent over!

scarecrow wonderful news! There I was waiting for your due date and the gorgeous baby scarecrow blindsided us all by appearing early . Well done you. Looking forward to hearing the labour story when you're feeling up to it. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying those newborn cuddles. Wonderful news!!!

somewhere MN remains a constant source of valuable information, advice and support to me. I don't think I would be able to get through things as I have without the wise guidance on here. BTW loving the description of the projectile poo . Always amazes me how something so small and gorgeous can create such a disgusting smelling amount of poo.DS. Is doing me proud too in that department .
chairman that BF sounds tough going with the LO being upset. It sounds as though you're doing the best possible job you can. If you do have to go to FF, I think you can safely say you have given it more than a fair shot of it.

All OK here, though DS failed his hearing test again in one ear today. that's his second fail so we're being referred for additional testing next week. Fingers crossed it's just because he's been snuffly from a cold and will get the all clear in both ears next week. He's fast asleep in my arms as I write this. After everything we went through, I can't believe he's here safe and sound - if there is anything sinister going on with his hearing on one side then we can deal with it. Much love and waves to all xxxx

scarecrow wonderful news! There I was waiting for your due date and the gorgeous baby scarecrow blindsided us all by appearing early . Well done you. Looking forward to hearing the labour story when you're feeling up to it. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying those newborn cuddles. Wonderful news!!!

somewhere MN remains a constant source of valuable information, advice and support to me. I don't think I would be able to get through things as I have without the wise guidance on here. BTW loving the description of the projectile poo . Always amazes me how something so small and gorgeous can create such a disgusting smelling amount of poo.DS. Is doing me proud too in that department .
chairman that BF sounds tough going with the LO being upset. It sounds as though you're doing the best possible job you can. If you do have to go to FF, I think you can safely say you have given it more than a fair shot of it.

All OK here, though DS failed his hearing test again in one ear today. that's his second fail so we're being referred for additional testing next week. Fingers crossed it's just because he's been snuffly from a cold and will get the all clear in both ears next week. He's fast asleep in my arms as I write this. After everything we went through, I can't believe he's here safe and sound - if there is anything sinister going on with his hearing on one side then we can deal with it. Much love and waves to all xxxx

Congratulations scarecrow and welcome to the other side! chair have you thought of domperidone, a drug to increase lactation? It worked a charm for me when I had similar problems with DS. I nearly cried reading your bf group experience and remembering the exact same despair and feeling so insupported by these women who just parrot the same lines yes I fucking well HAVE pointed my nipple at his nose... Blessedly supply is good this time so am just folding a big wodge of nipple into DDs mouth and she's managing but nips are still sore and whitened so will doubtless get a bollocking from mw tomorrow. Sorry- it's become about me. Speak to doc about drugs, it might help. Anyone experienced positional talipes? DDs feet turn in and we've been referred for physio but I made schooolgirl error of googling. Sane counsel welcomed.

Yeh! !!!!! Baby scarecrow. Sooooo excited for you. Sleep well but I am sure you will have one eye open looking at him amazed at what you have done. Set you up a special spot in the snug.
Chairman. Sending hugs dont give up. I had really big problems getting Dylan to latch. I rang the nct and got a specialist to visit me in my home. Loads of one on one. Made a huge difference. Cost me nothing except a packet of biscuits they were for me by the way. Dont you despair honey. Keep trying and if you have to use formula dont beat yourself up.

I still can't quite believe that I am a bona fidelity member of the grads club, but T is lying next to me in his bassinet as good as Gold and I am very smitten. I feel a bit of a traitor to DD but I think these few days mostly alone in hospital are important to bond too with a new little person who I know my love is gradually wrapping a cocoon around, a magic silk cocoon which is always there for him, but never constrains his spirit.

To more formally introduce myself in the lovely tradition set, I believe, by Chairman: I'm 42.5 and have a 44yo DH and a spirited golden DD of 2y 3-4mo. We have had two healthy children in our 40s, and I feel very blessed indeed. My name was chosen when I was singing Dingly Dangly Scarecrow all the time; if I chose one today is would have to be a hat tip to Emily Brown (of That Rabbit is Not for Sale fame) or Miss Polly Had A Dolly.

My CS was originally booked for next week, but brought forward when I was diagnosed with Obstetric Coleostasis, an unusual liver problem, the most obvious sign of which is particularly bad itching, especially (though not in my case) on palm and soles. I had begun to suspect the diagnosis so thankfully packed a bag and waged some mini clothes on Sunday as I was told at 5.30pm on Monday and had baby at 9.26am on Tues! There is a tiny risk of late stillbirth and doctors and I agreed better safe given I was 38 wks. T was a fab 7lb 4oz and Agpar was 9-10. Feeding going well overall - we're still working it out at times but he makes it v clear when I mess up so at least we have an open and, er, frank communication. Second op (CS) I've had, second big blood loss (1.5lit this time, 2lit last time - if I had a third I would basically have given up a whole adult body's worth!) - so have made a mental note not to need any other operations ever again..

Anyway I hope never to be so me, me, me again. Thank you for your lovely welcome, and "chat" soon.

Knicky, Chairman, MrsW, no comment nor advice from me here as no personal experience but surely you all have my support.
Knicky, I am waiting to hear from HV re hearing test for A, because she was born abroad and no testing over there and now 8 months old, the test is different from the under 12 weeks exam. But I had to fight with HV to get a referral....
Chairman, LRM's NCT idea sounds good, one to one support is great. If you decide to use FF, it is not the end of the world, your DD will be just as healthy and happy if you are happy. No one will thow stone at you here.
Scarecrow, how are you doing ? Ae you still over the moon ? How does DD act so far ?
Somewhere, I am still impressed by the weight of your LO, 10 lbs, did you expect such event ?

AFM, A's eyes are on the mend, eye drops and antibiotics have worked. She has now taken the habit of waking up around 11pm for a last feed and sleeps until 6.30/7, although at 4 this morning she started singing in her cot but fell back asleep after a short while ! I was too knackered to go to her.... She has not started crawling yet but rolls back and forth and turns on her back to try to reach for her toys... Her new game is to pull on the railings of her cot to stand up. Very good exercise for her chest muscles !!

I have been literally crucified and skin peeled off alive for asking where to get ear pierced ! I had no idea it is a very sensitive subject here. Where I am originally from, it is common practice. I am not saying it is right or wrong, just acknowledging a fact. And it is not my intention to start a debate on this thead either. I realise how much I still have to learn although I have lived for a few years now in this country !

mrsw I could kiss you. Sending a virtual . My GP has rushed through a prescription today for me so let's see if that gives me enough to satisfy miss greedy pants. She may decide its worth latching if there's more to eat. We'll see. Another brilliant piece of advice on this thread!

knicky sorry baby K has failed the hearing test. Being bunged up is bound to be the cause. I always get blocked ears with a cold. Fingers crossed he passes next week.

We've been victims of the projectile poo as well. The funniest one I heard was from a friend who was kneeling on the floor at a baby group to change her baby DS when he did a poo at such high velocity it went up her skirt.

scarecrow I didn't realise you'd got OC. How awful for you. Baby S sounds amazingly healthy. Great weight - my DS was only 2oz more and he was 12 days overdue! I hope you're recovering well. The blood loss/low iron isn't much fun is it. Did they give you a transfusion?

lrm thanks for the NCT suggestion. Unfortunately our local BF consultant ran that part of our course a couple of years ago and was just awful. She refused to acknowledge women have any problems with BF 'if they're doing it properly'. I'm afraid the class just ended up taking the piss out of her. I do have a friend who had latching probs and she's coming over on Sat so I'm going to have a good chat with her. Hope DS is being a good boy with his naps

Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement. After feeling really downhearted because of the 'support' group yesterday I've got some of my determination back today thanks to your encouragement. Let's see what happens with the Domperidone.

Sending you all

Really quick as have guests (back later) but chairman have you tried La Leche? They will give you whoever from across the country knows about your particular need - found someone who knew about prems for me, emsil and phone support and would have sent someone in person if I had wanted. She helped us get to 16 weeks. Bf groups also crap here, couldn't cope with anything out of the ordinary. I walked out
See you all in a bit.

Fingers crossed chair..!

Scarecrow - huge congratulations!!! so glad that baby Scarecrow is safely here, and that you are ok. Hope you are having a restful time in hospital, especially after losing all that blood! Enjoy your bonding time with just the two of you - and how lovely that your little DD has a little brother now!

BBD - glad A is recovering from her eye infection. Big hug re the ears - you are such a lovely person and hate to think of you being upset.

Chairman - so sorry you have had a rubbish time re the support group. Hmm.. your experiences have got me thinking about this whole BF malarkey (think I would otherwise have tried to bury the memories!) and think that if you are someone who is struggling and trying to access help and advice, it's a bit of a minefield out there! I found the whole thing slightly political, and the orgs offering advice a bit perplexing in their organisation! Really hard sometimes to work out what was offered by local auth, hospital, LLL, NCT and then who was a peer supporter, counsellor, consultant and so on (I think there was a lot of overlaps within this). When I had a bit of a meltdown a couple of weeks ago I spent practically the whole day trying to ring various helplines before someone answered. I appreciate though that this isn't everyone's experience and that the help has been a lot more straightforward. As for going to a group, I think I would sooner have driven a fork through my eye than sat in a group crying with my baps out and a baby with flailing arms refusing to latch on.

Good luck with the drugs (I was refused them!) - one other thing which may have already been considered but I will mention just in case.... have you had DD checked for tongue tie? It was totally missed while we were in hospital - failure to latch was put down to various other things and no one mentioned it, then it was only spotted by a MW several days later. I did always wonder myself as DD had a heart-shaped tongue, which is pretty typical.

We are doing ok with the BF - generally no pain, DD latches on no problem, and I am less self-conscious about feeding in public, BUT there still isn't that much weight gain and this is being monitored. May or may not be a problem, but it's pretty annoying given how problem-free the BF is now. Will just have to see how things pan out...

MrsW - glad to hear you are doing well with the feeding, but ouch re nips!

Knicky - sorry DS has a failed hearing test - hope he passes when he's retested.

Somewhere - am quite jealous you had such a good result with the swaddling! I bought a posh merino swaddle for baby E before she was born, convinced she would take to it because I thought it was a nice idea. Well, she bloody hates the swaddle and fights like crazy to get out of it. Occasionally I put it on her and take a photo though because she looks like a maggot in it (albeit a very cute one)

Loving the projectile pooing I've never experienced it minus nappy so have never had to clean the furniture. All baby E's explosions have shot out of her nappy and then soaked through clothes then sometimes onto duvet, pillow, or whatever it is she's lying on.

LRM - fantastic news re the 3 stone mark!!! And in such a short space of time too.

Goat - Belated sympathy re your DP's grandmother. My relatives tend to go in a similar fashion - so wonderful to live your life the way you would wish to until the end. Great that BG settled so well with the CM!

I'm still slightly revelling in my restored health, and baby E seems to have suddenly become aware of the outside world. So now the routine isn't just about feed/change/sleep but loads of toys, chat and sticking her in swing/bouncer/on sofa etc so that she can watch me (and check that I don't leave the room!) We drove 200 miles yesterday doing a round trip visiting relatives so was a bit pooped today. However, I realised that I would get more of a rest if took her out in the pushchair so managed a 10km walk, taking in a big supermarket shop and carted it home in the pushchair.

Have also treated myself to a new sling - it's made of knitted bamboo and so it v breathable and I don't get sweaty when I wear it!

Oh, and I've joined weightwatchers as realised I won't lose a single lb unless I have some sort of plan. Lost 1.2kg in first week, and really, really hope I can keep it up. Was getting a bit peed off with being told the weight would come off naturally with BF (it isn't) and really want to ditch as much of the excess as possible before I resume pituitary medications later in the year. We've also booked a holiday next month, although it's far too late to lose enough weight for that so will just have to look like a whale on the beach...

goat very kind of you to post when you're busy. I was thinking about LL as a next step. Will see if the drugs work and if she'll latch long enough to feed and give them a try if we're still struggling.

eagle I agree re the politics. I emailed NCT when I made the decision to FF DS after he was hospitalised with weight loss to see if they had info on the best formula and they sent a really patronising email back assuming I'd had crap all help from MWs. Actually the MWs visited us every day for 4 weeks and I thought they were brilliant. Part of the reason they visited was that DS had tongue tie, so we did make sure DD was thoroughly checked. She can actually latch and has done a few times - the longest was 10 mins and I could really feel her sucking away. It was amazing! That's why I think it's connected to my supply - she's getting through an immense amount of food.

Great that your DD is starting to engage. It's really lovely when that happens. You can properly interact and watch the world open up to them. Enjoy! Also re Weight Watchers, I agree - having failed to get rid of half my baby weight after DS I'm determined this time and am going to do Slimming Workd (better for veggies). Also will be going to Buggy Fit much more and buying a turbo trainer for my bike so I can use it indoors while DD is napping on the 2 days DS will be at nursery. Though with a sore Caesarian scar I can't actually imagine doing any of that. If you want some mutual moral support let me know.

Right, time for kip. Night all.

Congratulations Scarecrow and welcome baby T. Good to have you here.

Chairman - hope the drugs work. I took some with DD. it took a while to increase the supply but I got there in the end. Be extra careful with emptying them though as they go like rock hard melons and I found I got mastitis easily going from aero to hero so quickly.

Huge waves at everyone else - I've been out and about and mentally busy for the Easter holidays so not had the chance to catch up properly. Desperate to lose weight but eaten out about 6 times in the last week which is not helping (including afternoon tea at Claridges). Midget gets christened in 2 weeks and I am still bloody fat!

That's zero to hero - damn you autocorrect.

Morning my lovely
If any of you want weight loss support I am happy to help. I lost 5 stone before baby m was born went from a size 22 nearly 24 to a 10 top and 12 bottom. It was hard work. I knew when I got pregnant I would put weight on and how o was very greedy but I knew what I had to do after. I did not expect the emotional whirl wind I went through first 3 month and put on a couple more stone. So January 1st operation fat ass commenced. I actually enjoy the exercise and pram power walks help. Very very low carbs. Fruit veg and protein. Dont measure weigh or calories count can't be bothered. No biscuits sweets bread crackers cheese cakes. Allowed one treat a week. It's hard at first but once you see the scales going down each week it makes me more ddetermined