Parents: tips coping with tiredness.

[Littleraysofsunshine]

(2+children) I have two girls, 2yrs and 7 months.

Most of the time it's great but you know those days when you haven't slept well and just feel sooooo tired before the day has even started!

Dd2 has feed waking up a few times the past three nights so I'm feeling it. And this morning I took it out on dd1 () then I apologised.

How do you manage your tiredness?

I eat! Which is obviously not ideal if you struggle with your weight but luckily I don't.

I also take the older DD to a structured activity if I can (soft play, park, even out shopping) because that's easier than being around the house trying not to lose your temper out of sheer tired grumpiness...

I used to put the DCs on the sofa with one arm round each of them while "big cook, little cook" was on, then catch a 20-minute nap. If either of them tried to get up I'd wake.
20 minutes sleep made all the difference, and to this day the "big cook, little cook" theme tune makes me drowsy.
I built little routines and tactics into my day to make my life easier.
E.g. I hold my keys as I close the front door (so I don't lock myself out).
I write stuff I need to remember on my hand or on a whiteboard before I forget.
If I'm chopping veg for lunch, I chop the dinner veg as well so I can save a bit of time during "cranky hour" (4-5pm)

Yeah I think eating is a main thing and being hydrated. ( which a lot of the time I don't make time to do!)

Do you go to bed when they go to bed some nights? Just to catch up? Or have a nap in the day with them?

Sometimes my two will nap at the same time but dd1 will have about 1.5/2hrs and dd2 sometimes will but sometimes longer or shorter! And sometimes I feel worse if I sleep on the day..

Dd1 sleeps through but dd2 still has a few feeds in the night. Well two mostly, but been fidgeting a lot the past week. She never cries. And I have never let either of then CIO. But fidgeting keeps me awake then it eventually wakes her up then its hard to get back off

One of the things which kept me going was an old-fashioned exercise regime called calanetics which has a 10 minute daily set of exercises with lots of stretching. As soon as I had got both little ones into bed I used to do these few exercises on the landing floor before going back downstairs. It would help me relax and unwind before trying to have some time to myself. (it didn't thrill my husband but he often wasn't there and it certainly helped me)

Agree with going out somewhere. Anywhere! Preferably somewhere where the older one can run about and you don't have to do much.

I do sometimes go to bed when they do if I need to, but my DP works evening so it makes no difference to anyone if I do that.

Bought a coffee machine! My morning filter or espresso helps me wake up and I look forward to it. I still feel tired all the time (I have a 4yo ds and 10 week old dd who has been very ill and in hospital with bronchiolitis so particularly hard work right now) but sitting down every now and then with a cuppa helps. I agree going out places helps - soft play centres are great. It will get easier! x

Yeah we do play groups Wednesday-Friday, so I'm on the ball then. It's Mondays & Tuesdays when I feel more tired funnily enough.

Fresh air definitely helps!

I once posted about this and someone said if they're really tired they eat ice cubes....so far haven't tried it but I have had a quick shower or a face wash and brush teeth and it does seem to perk me up a bit. Fresh air and slogging the pram up the hill help me a lot.

One day we'll wake feeling ...honestly...soon!!

Coffee
Berocca is really good, I have one a day
I used to hate sleeping in the day, but cat naps are my life saver when exhausted. The trick is to make a coffee, drink it, set your alarm for 25 minutes time, lie down in a dark room and close your eyes.
By the time you wake up after 20 mins, you've not entered the deep sleep cycle so you wake up easier an not grumpy, and by then the coffee is kicking in so it gives you the little lift.

Takes a couple if times to get the knack of it but it really does work.

Light snacks
Music to bop along to
Fresh air

Go out to buy a magazine - walk to the furthest shop you can manage.

Dont nap - use that time to boost your energy with some lunch and read your magazine.

Go to bed an hour after they do.

Avoid caffiene, and sugar. Both make you feel a lot, lot worse after the initial rush. Eat well and have snacks. Get out for a walk. Do not watch TV once kids are in bed, just go to bed and lie in the dark and chat to partner (or friend/parents on phone) if you cant sleep right away.

Caffeine. I have about 3 cups of tea and 1-2 coffees per day. (Have 2DCS age 3.10 and 10 weeks).
Eat, especially Nutella on toast.
Get out of the house as much as poss.
I should go to bed earlier.

I make lists of all the little things I have to do/remember so I don't waste energy thinking about them.

Having a shower as soon as I get up makes me feel better than lounging around in PJs.

Napping in the day (weekends only as I work FT)

Going to bed at 9pm most evenings (8.30 if totally knackered, 9.30 if I've had a good night or two!)

Those of you who go to bed very early, how on earth do you get jobs done?

I never manage to go to bed before 11pm, partly because I have a 12 week old who needs feeding etc in the evening, but mainly because I need time to clear up after dinner / sort things out for the next day / do laundry. I seem to spend all day trying to do those sort of jobs too, and my 3 y.o. gets very restless and irritating as a result. I'd LOVE to be able to go to bed early sometimes.

Well, I put dd down at seven (dh and I take a role - one does.bath bottle bed the other cooks our dinner), then we eat together, I put a load in the machine to wash and may do the dishes - im not fussed if they stay there til the morning.

Then I go to bed. What do you need to sort for the next day?

very.strong.coffee. and co-sleeping is what got me through the tough early years. I also never do housework in the evenings, evenings are for relaxing as far as i'm concerned. Ds has always been an early riser so washing/hoovering etc get done before i go to work. Having an early dinner helps too as you can get dishes done before bathtime. And introduce 'tidy up time' very young so your children get in the habit of tidying away their toys.

I drink waaay too much coffee

Evening jobs include washing up/wiping down kitchen, taking dry clothes off washing airer, putting nappy wash on, taking it out & hanging it on the airer to dry, emptying the pushchair / nappy bag and restocking; preparing breakfast & snacks; on a good day, organising next day's lunch/dinner; get out clothes for next day; maybe a general tidy.

Everything is done with a baby strapped to my chest, which slows me down - but not as much as answering constant questions from a bored 3 y.o. as well, as is the case for jobs I do in the day.

When I was on mat leave, I just tried -and failed-- to get the jobs done during the day (but I only had a newborn and not a toddle to contend with so there was less to prepare as he was EBF - basically leaving the house meant sling, my boobs (easy!), a bag with nappies and a change of clothes). DH did the food, washing up and cleaning.

Now I work FT and am extremely lucky that my parents look after DS at ours so they do some of my washing and ironing (I love my parents!) and in the evenings in the week I tend to just eat sandwiches, leftovers or heatup soup (so no cooking). DH does the washing up in the morning and I tidy up seeing as we're usually up by 6.30 because of DS! Unless it took me ages to get DS to sleep in the evening, in which case DH has time to tidy up before we eat together.

Cleaning is done at the weekend by DH, although my parents run the hoover around if necessary (did I mention I love my parents? )

I think I only survived the first year by co-sleeping and napping when dd napped. That meant I had to get jobs done when dd was awake, a sling was invaluable for this.

Go to bed when your dc do - hard I know but do it for a few data until you catch up a bit.
Soft play with gated entry is your friend - our local one got us through all our exhausting pregnancies with our dc2s!