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Parenting

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Original poster

How old were your dc's when they first slept over at grandparent's?

56 replies

jasmin27 · 02/01/2013 22:39

just that really. My eldest dd is 2.3 doesn't sleep through and comes into our bed during the night. My Mil has mentioned her sleeping over a few times and wanted to take dd for a couple of weeks when ds was born 5 months ago, I said no. But came round the other day saying they have decided that dd should stay over once a week. Dh just said yeah ok, I said no as I don't feel she is ready. Just wanted to know if i'm being overprotective. Then can take her for the day but don't want her to sleep over, but they are always too busy to take her. I wouldn't leave her with my mum either so it's not an in laws thing.

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Hulababy · 02/01/2013 22:41

DD was nearly 3y.
Parents looked after her before that but always at our house.

blondiedollface · 02/01/2013 22:50

At MIL's never until they get rid of the Alsation and stop smoking in every room in the house.

My mum had her overnight at 3 weeks, as I was mixed feeding and could do that. DH and I are so grateful, we got an amazing sleep were refreshed and feel that our patience, understanding and love were all massively topped up by spending about 10 hours away from DD. At 7 months she now stays with my mum every Friday night and LOVES it :)

PoppyWearer · 02/01/2013 22:51

DC1 was nearly 3yo.

She was very nearly potty trained too, until she had a slight (wee) accident on PIL's carpet during the sleepover, MIL apparently went ballistic at her (apparently - Ihave seen her do this with an accident by DN in SIL's house, DC1 told me "Grandma was upset") and potty training took another FIVE months as DC1 wanted nappies again after that...

I would not do sleepovers unless your DC is firmly still in nappies or most definitely potty trained!

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PoppyWearer · 02/01/2013 22:52

DC1 was nearly 3yo.

I would not do sleepovers unless your DC is firmly still in nappies or most definitely potty trained!

Gilberte · 02/01/2013 22:53

About 3 I think. But never without me or DH being there so I suppose it doesn't count.

ThedementedPenguin · 02/01/2013 22:55

I let my mum keep my ds over night when he was 3/4 weeks.

My Oh's mum had him a few weeks back around 12/13 weeks. She wasn't meant to but I got drunk and decided he was better there than with me drunk.

ceeveebee · 02/01/2013 22:58

What do they mean "they have decided.."- its not their decision to make, they are not the parents. If you don't want to let her stay then don't

MySonIsMyWorld · 02/01/2013 22:59

Never at my mums or dads my ds is 19 months old would trust them at all.....

Ds has stayed over a few times at my aunties though first when he was about 11 months so i could stop breastfeeding....x

Myliferocks · 02/01/2013 23:00

DD1 was 8 months
DD2 was 4 months
DD3 was 5 months
DS1 was 6 months
DS2 was 5 weeks

Gilberte · 02/01/2013 23:00

About 3 I think. But never without me or DH being there so I suppose it doesn't count.

CharlotteBronteSaurus · 02/01/2013 23:02

about 13mo both times - that was the earliest that they'd be reasonably likely to sleep through.

we had a couple of evenings out returning 12ish before then

MirandaWest · 02/01/2013 23:07

DS was 2.3 when he first stayed at grandparents house on his own. Can't remember how old DD was. Could have been older or younger tbh (although has always been there with DS there as well iykwim so not really on her own).

lola88 · 02/01/2013 23:07

3 weeks and 2/3 nights a month since then it's bliss

feetlkeblocksofice · 02/01/2013 23:10

DD was 2 years old when she stayed at my parents house but she had been staying over at my SIL since 6 weeks.

SamSmalaidh · 02/01/2013 23:10

6 months, and every 3 months or so since then.

PrettyPirate · 02/01/2013 23:13

DD was bit over 2 when stayed at her grandma's, DS after his 1st birthday. Now they are 6 and 3 and go there for long weekends , they both love sleepovers at grandma's.

JollyOldChristmas · 02/01/2013 23:14

Ds is 20mo and has never stayed with either set of GPs without us also being there.

StellaNova · 02/01/2013 23:15

With my mum, DS1 was nearly two, DS2 was two and two months. Both were (DS2 still is) bad sleepers. But mum was happy to get into bed with them/ have her sleep disturbed - well, not happy but you know what I mean!

I do kind of regret DS2 going though - he went for 2 nights while we were at the Olympics and he has been very clingy, with worse sleep issues, ever since, I fear we broke him. Then again it might be a stage anyway.

Neither has stayed over at MILs without me or DH, she lives further away and is older than DM and also I don't think she would be that open to dealing with nighttime issues. She hasn't asked for them to. DS1 did sleep at SILs with MIL and without me or DH when he was 3 or thereabouts and was fine.

ShowOfHands · 02/01/2013 23:16

DD was 3yrs 8 months and it was sort of forced by the fact that I was pg with dc2 and we knew that it was likely to be another emcs and so dd would need to be used to sleeping elsewhere before it happened. She was happy and it went well. I hated it.

DD is 5yrs 8 months now and stays with grandparents for a night here and there as a treat. I still miss her inordinately but it's easier than it was.

Oreocrumbs · 02/01/2013 23:16

DD started to stay at my mothers when she was 9mth and I went back to work.

Since then she has stayed pretty much every Friday and Saturday night.

I probably wouldn't have sent her so early if it wasn't my only childcare option (I have to work fri and sat night). But I am very close to my mother, and I know she does things exactly as I want.

I co sleep with DD - so does my DM when she is there. There have been no problems.

I haven't yet (she is 2.5) left her with MIL and if I'm honest won't for a long time, if ever - but there are a fair few good reasons for that.

ShowOfHands · 02/01/2013 23:17

16mo ds btw is nowhere near ready to sleep elsewhere.

Jac1978 · 02/01/2013 23:21

Why are they so obsessed with having her over? That seems a bit weird. How dare they come round to your home and try to dictate what you do with your family? Your instincts are right, there's absolutely no need for her to stay over there - her home is with you and sounds like it would only disrupt her. Don't fall into the trap of disrupting your child just to please your inlaws. You need to put your foot down and get your dh to stand by you. You will find your own way if getting her to settle at night but interfering inlaws will not help!

Original poster

jasmin27 · 02/01/2013 23:21

thanks for the replies, I just wasn't sure if it was just me. I was annoyed at the 'they' have decided part, told dh I was feeling pressured to something I wasn't comfortable with. think i'll just wait till she is sleeping through.

OP posts:

PoohBearsHole · 02/01/2013 23:26

I wouldn't want o make it a regular thing, dd has nightie and toothbrush, spare pants at my dps Justin case she decides she wants to stay. She often does but during school holidays only. But she was about 2 I think.

Snazzynewyear · 02/01/2013 23:26

Since then there have been stopovers at weekends about every 2 months. It is nice to get a breather but you have to be ready. Don't agree if you're not; it's down to you both as parents, not just one to decide.

Also I think once a week is a bit much certainly to 'sign up' for straightaway. You also said they are 'too busy' to have her during the day - if they aren't used to dealing with her in the day - and she with them - I wouldn't want her to do overnights.

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