What to say to people telling me to book DH in for the snip?

[Mylittlepuds]

I'm only pregnant with #2 and I've had so many people say this - family (inc mum) and friends.

DS is 19 months and will be 2 when DC #2 arrives. The new baby wasn't planned but we're thrilled.

I suffered/am still suffering with postnatal anxiety and so not sure if other people are thinking (like I am) about me struggling with 2 DCs.

If I had rid of this bastard anxiety I'd have loads of DCs and don't know how to respond to these remarks. I could understand if I had 4 or 5 but even then it's rude.

Respond with: we will deal with it in our own time, thank you and change the subject.

Who do they think they are? It's none of their fucking business!!

Cross on your behalf.

U get this all the time. We have dc 3 but I am fed up of people telling me that I have enough.

Sorry not much help but certainly sympathy.

Congratulations on your children.

"I do not wish to discuss DH's testicles, thank you"

When random people want to discuss tell me how to live my life I have a standard phrase I now gift to you

" if you can tell me how it's any of your business I would be happy to discuss it with you" said with a tilted head and a dazzling smile - Merry christmas!

Tell them to mind their own business, the only persons contraception they should be worrying about is their own.

jamdoghnut That's brilliant! Will be pinching that. Have a feeling I'll be needing to use it a lot over the next few days.

I found it very helpful when I stopped BF DD1 with a particularly irritating woman at baby group, has become a stock phrase for me along with the standard MN "did you mean to sound rude?"

I would literally just say 'that's none of your business'

Anyone who knows you well enough to comment should be able to take that and anyone offended by it doesn't know you well enough to say it to you in the first place!

It's incredibly rude!

I'd be tempted to say "what makes you think it's DH'?" or something similarly outrageous.....but Jam's is a good one

i would just say "none of your business"

i had it said to me once as a teen when i was asking a nosey question. it worked. i didn't ask again and i was more careful to mind my own business.

or you could be really mean and say "if i were you i'd be more concerned with what your own husband's family jewels might be getting up to" with a knowing look and then walk off with your nose in the air

For comedy value I'd be tempted to say "Actually we don't believe in contraception - it's God's will" (v unlikely they will have a comeback from that) or more simply "we haven't decided when our family will be complete yet".

I'd also be tempted to point out the horrible sexism of the comments - can you imagine if people were saying to your DH 'oh you wanna get her booked in to have her tubes tied, mate'?

How about "oh do fuck off!"?

I would just give them a OMG how can you be so rude look and say that you don't want to discuss things like that.

How about "oh I didn't realise we were going to discuss personal questions! What do you do for contraception then? Or are you not having sex enough to need any?". Or slightly less confrontational "I don't think private matters like this are a topic for polite conversation!".
Don't take it as a personal thing OP, I'm sure it's not anything to do with your anxiety just people being nosy/rude/inappropriate!

How about 'mind your own fucking business' or 'oh no we couldn't possibly I love the taste of his spunk and all it's spermy goodness'

Seriously though, we get this alllll the time (we have six and I'm disabled) I usually just reply with 'why on earth would we want to do that' and look slightly puzzled and smile sweetly, it usually throws them enough to shut them up

Thanks v much for replies! I love some of the responses which i'll be using im response to all kinds of rudeness! I think I have to go with "It's God's will," said in mock seriousness. I don't think any harm is meant by people but it's a bit premature I reckon considering. I also might say we plan to have 10 just for the reaction!

• in response

or " oh we won't stop until we have a complete netball/ football/rugby squad of little puds"

We won't Sarah!

My first DH had the snip (he was few years older than me), and it was very convenient :) I was not very interested in DCs, and ex-DH he already had two. My 2nd (and current! no more planned!) means some practical difficulties. I don't like condoms, I'm sometimes forgetful with pill, so having to be careful about when/how he finishes. So lots of practical advantages for the snip ;)