This is my fault

[mypombearisveryold]

My ds has been referred to an educationalist pyschologist. His teacher seemed really worried about telling me. I was upset, of course, but I just agreed with them.

He doesn't fit in, doesn't want to make friends with the other children, he's actually horrid to the other children.

I'm so worried about him, why is he like this? I think it must be my fault. I've let him down.

But what can I do to help him

What are the specific reasons you were given for the referral?

I was referred to an educational psychologist when I was 5 because I was rude, disruptive and had no friends. EP said I was bored stiff and they needed to challenge me more. I also had no social skills. I made it through ok. Try not to worry too much - it may not be a bad thing.

I find that very reassuring, thank you.

I think he's been referred to investigate the underlying cause of his behaviour at school.

Schools expect of boys age inappropriate behaviours in my opinion, and I am a teacher. Some do fine, but others just have too much energy, which isn't a bad thing. Be wary of labels an medication though, and there are things that you can do at home to help, depending of what comes back from the specialist of course. I loved the book: simplicity parenting.

Don't blame yourself unless you have 16 children & they are all like that.
OTOH, don't take all the credit if some of them are wonderful & popular.

I've seen that book somewhere else, I will have a look on Amazon for it.
I am wary of labels and medication. He is very young in the group. I just wish he would make friends and be happy. He gets on well with his siblings.
Thank you.