Addicted to a dummy

[Jayne266]

Not quite as extreme as it sounds but I am having a problem with my 4 month old and his dummy. He really likes to have it when he goes a sleep which is fine when he's in his Moses basket as a can pop it back in when he wants it. But am now thinking about when he goes in his own room. ( he doesnt have it when he's awake) last night was a record 22 times he woke up wanting it and I feel it's getting worse. Any advice on how to cut it down or completely stop it. Or if I can use it for him to sleep and help him not want it through the night. Not sure this is my first baby and I know other parents have better advice.

When are you planning on putting him in his own room? If you are thinking another couple of months then bear in mind he will be more mobile then and possibly able to find it and stick it back in himself.

My DD has a dummy for sleep and from about six months I just put a couple of dummies in the cot with her, and if hers fell out she'd just grab another. Over time her wakings became less. She still goes to bed with one, but more often than not when I go to bed it's not in her mouth and she's still asleep.

Honestly I would love to keep him in my room forever but I know I can't for him and me (lol I guess my husband as well) but he's looking a bit cramped in his Moses basket so I think by the end of dec he will need to be moved.

My DD (14 months) is still in our room in her cot. It doesn't actually do them any harm at all keeping them in as long as you want - if you have the room.

DD was on an apnoea monitor until she was 10 months, so she had to be in our room until then. Just after she came off the monitor we found out we were moving back to the UK the week before her birthday - so didn't see the point in moving her into her own room for a matter of weeks.

We are currently staying with my Mum whilst we buy a house and we felt that after the disruption of the move it wasn't ideal to suddenly put DD in a new room in a new house on her own for the first time with everything going on.

We have talked about moving her - but we're going to be moving into our own house soon, so have decided to leave her where she is for now and then move her into her own room in the new house.

I like having her in with us and I'll miss her when she's in her own room. I think that having her so close by has actually made her very confident - she is fine with all sorts of situations and is bold and outgoing.

Think DH is looking forward to being able to watch tv in bed again though .

Could he be hungry? There's MASSIVE growth spurt/developmental leap around now so he'd be waking loads anyway...

I didn't really think about hunger we have just started to have him sleep through the night. He has a feed at 7pm and sleeps (with help) until 5am for a feed then goes back a sleep. Thanks for your advice.

It's worth trying a 10pm feed then you can cut it out again later.

It's not about food - it's about the dummy! 4 months is a notorious time for dummy addictiveness. And it won't get better - unless you cut it out completely. Just throw them ALL out. You're in for 2-3 nights of pain, but then it will all be over and you won't look back. Suggest giving something else, a new comforter, sucking blanket etc, to make up for it. That's what we did. He is still blanket addicted at night time (nearly 3!), but no dummy.

How do you know Black?

My 4 month old was the same (now 6 month old), a couple of things I tried:

• at around 5 months I gave my dd a comforter cuddly toy, I didn't expect it to replace the dummy but she started to chew on the toy instead and largely lost interest in the dummy. It was easy for her to find the toy in the night time;
• have you tried waiting till your ds is asleep then removing the dummy? Tbh that never worked with my dd (she still woke up) but it was the advice I was given by a Hv as apparently the baby can forget it had the dummy when it wakes up....

Also, someone else has posted on mn about a toy with Velcro attached dummies so baby can find it easily, haven't used it but might be worth a try when ds is a bit older?

Don't stress too much about dummy addiction at this stage, your ds is still young and may well give up the dummy on their own (my dd almost has and I know of others who have too). Just focus on getting some sleep, you need some rest too!

Of course the decision is totally yours but 4 months is so tiny.

I know some people have strong feelings about dummies but it has honestly never occurred to me to take away something that DS finds comforting.

I'm not being unsympathetic, completely the opposite, I remember those months so well. I used to keep DS's moses basket right next to me so I could put it back in without even waking up!

When people told me it wouldn't be long til he learnt to put it in himself I used to internally wilt, it felt like forever. In reality they were right.

By 6 months he could easily put it in himself. As soon as he got the hang of it I just started putting every dummy we had in there with him so he could always find one.

He's 16 months now and still likes to have 2 to go to sleep, he has one in each hand and swaps from one to the other but they don't leave the cot so I'm not worried about it at all.

It's entirely up to you but honestly, it really wont go on for as long as it feels like it will.

We had the same with DD. It doesnt last forever like others say they soon learn to pop it back in themselves. We got DD to give hers up in exchange for something she chose when she was 2yrs old and didn't have a single night of trouble (just the first daytime nap when she asked for it with a cheeky smile when she knew fine well she had given them away). I think you can either dump them now or probably will then find it harder to get rid of them as they get older, until the point where they have some level of understanding like my DD did at 2yrs. Good luck.

Aww Thanx guys that has made me feel so much better. I didn't want to take it off him unless it causes him distress having it in. But then again am going back to work soon, and with him going to his own room before I know it.
I just didn't want to throw a spanner into the works. He's developing so quickly I feel like grabbing every minute while I can (today he held his own bottle for his feed for the first time)

I've always used dummy clips with mine, from the very first night they instinctively reached to it and popped their dummy back in.

It's so hard isn't it. Watching them grow is the most amazing thing in the world but I just wish it didn't happen so fast!

A minute ago DS was this floppy, snugly little thing that wouldn't go to sleep unless I cuddled him. Just me, no one else would do and he'd bury his face in the crook of my arm.

Now I plonk him in his cot and he stands up and says "later potata" as I shut the door.

Don't feel like like you have to put him in his own room by a certain age. Just go with what feels right, whenever that is, and what is easiest. Ignore all the 'making a rod for your own back' nonsense. He's a tiny baby.

He's got the rest of his life to sleep in a different room, a few more months now won't make any difference at all.

On the other hand if in a couple of months you think you are both ready then do it.

DS went into his own room a month ago. The reason being that it was the right time for both of us.

He was reliably sleeping through the night without any misplaced dummy issues and he was starting to get disturbed by me coming to bed. It felt right and it was. He hasn't turned a hair at being in his own room. Not one difference.

Enjoy every snugly minute

I was advised that when a baby throws their dummy across a room (normally around 6months) it's a sign that they no longer need a dummy for the sucking reflex and that it's about to start becoming a habit. We decided to take DSs dummy away at this stage, and honestly after one night of difficulty settling him, the night wakings got a lot better. I don't regret doing it at all.
The moving him into his own room is a whole other issue! I didn't sleep a wink the first night DS was in his room!