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Original poster

Help? Should I allow my 5yo to go for a sleepover party?

25 replies

ditsyflo · 16/11/2012 02:04

when my dcs have asked how old you have to be to have sleepovers I've generally said they have to be much older than they are most likely not until teenagers.
Now I've just been approached by mum to ds best friend who is planning sleepover for his 6th birthday with a handful of close friends. All boys. All Year 1. My ds is still 5. Mum is lovely, but I'm not sure she realises what she's taking on. I fear total carnage with a group of half a dozen 5/6year olds all getting high on party junk food and excitement. It can be crazy enough when just 2 of them get together for a playdate.
My instinctive reaction was to say NO WAY! Far too young. But now beginning to wonder whether I'm being over-protective and party-pooper. I haven't replied to the invitation yet.

Am I being unreasonable? What would you say?

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Earlybird · 16/11/2012 02:15

Think waiting until they are teenagers would be over protective. But, I wouldn't agree to sleepover party at 5 - especially if your ds has never been on a sleepover before.

ChippingInLovesAutumn · 16/11/2012 02:20

He'll have a blast :)

It will probably be the last one she does until they are teenagers - so let him go

mysweetie · 16/11/2012 04:44

Upon reading the title,. I say "no" but in reading other info,. I can't decide either...lol
Maybe you can let him go, just to socialize then fetch him up before they sleep or early in the morning.

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playftseforme · 16/11/2012 05:22

If he wants to go, let him go. But be prepared for a call at 9pm when the reality of staying a night away from home dawns, and he wants mummy!

LifeIsBetterInFlipFlops · 16/11/2012 06:36

My DS went on one at age 4, but it was just him...he was fine and they regularly sleep at each others houses.
I would let him go, the worse that can happen is that you get a call to fetch him home, but chances are he'll love it.

Cybbo · 16/11/2012 07:09

I wouldn't. 5 too young imo

legalalien · 16/11/2012 07:16

Depends on your child, how well he knows the other parents / how many times he's been to their house before, how much he wants to go / how upset he'll be if he doesn't, how far away from your house it us/ whether it's possible for you to go and get him without dragging younger siblings out if bed... You have to go with your gut feel I think. At that age ds would go on sleepovers with two or three of his close friends whose parents he felt comfortable with - I let him dictate it.

Fwiw I have four of ds friends coming over for an 8th birthday sleepover next week - so wish me luck!

Goldenjubilee10 · 16/11/2012 19:16

I wouldn't. Ds3 is 6 and we are years away from that!

exoticfruits · 16/11/2012 19:19

Does he want to go? If so then why not? You can always collect if he changes his mind.

exoticfruits · 16/11/2012 19:20

You are not years away at 6yrs-if you want to do normal childhood activities like Brownie and Cub camp.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 16/11/2012 19:25

DD1 had her first sleepover at age 7 - one to one, but has now been on a few group slumber parties. DD2 is 6.5 and has not had a sleepover yet either here or away, but I think she's ready so will probably organise something for her soon.

Main thing: be prepared for him to be in BITS the next day from over-excitement and lack of sleep!

smogwod · 16/11/2012 19:26

DD had a sleepover party for her 6th with her 3 best friends from school (she's the eldest). Went absolutely fine, good fun and all asleep before 10, half of them hours before, which I didn't think was too bad. The hardest part though was the next morning, I'd arranged for them to be picked up too late I think and they'd had enough of each other by then.

I'd say let him go but don't leave it too late to pick him up

ByTheWay1 · 16/11/2012 19:28

We had a rule that they had to be 10 for sleepovers - worked well for us - old enough to be sensible and ready for it.... but young enough they got some nights away from home before their first school residential trip.

MirandaWest · 16/11/2012 19:28

DS has been on beaver camp at 7 and cub camp at 8. Not done any sleepovers with friends though partly because I dont especially want to reciprocate

legalalien · 16/11/2012 19:47

I am finding this surprising - ds is one of the shyest children in his year -and yet has a fair few sleepovers age 7, albeit with a small group of friends - say six. One of his friends is having his first sleepover here tonight - fine so far but you guys are making me nervous

exoticfruits · 17/11/2012 07:32

Go with the DC and whether they are happy- so many seem to be kept back by over anxious parents. The worst than can happen is that you have to go and collect them. I have done that with DS2- it was no big deal.

Rudolphstolemycarrots · 17/11/2012 09:59

I'd say no. Maybe just him sleeping over with one friend would be OK though

Floralnomad · 17/11/2012 10:03

If he wants to go and you are happy to be called in the night if he changes his mind I'd let him go. Just ensure that the parents know you're happy to collect whatever time it is .

kige · 17/11/2012 10:05

I wouldn't consider it, starts at year 3/4 in our school. My ds is 6 in yr 2 and I would not send him. Maybe let him spend the evening til 8.30 or whatever is appropriate.

stinkinseamonkey · 17/11/2012 10:07

SHE IS MAD! (the host that is!)
my big worry is that my DC would then want me to host one for his 6th birthday, and I was hoping it'd be a few years still until I had to go through the horror!
actually I'd probably be slightly annoyed at this mother for bringing the trend forward, I think its more for nearer the end of primary!

OwedToAutumn · 17/11/2012 10:10

About 7 or 8 is okay, I would think. 6 is a bit young, perhaps, but it's her problem, surely, not yours.

Perhaps just be on standby (ie, don't drink) if you think he is likely to get homesick, and you will need to collect him.

pigsinmud · 17/11/2012 10:12

Dc4 had her first sleepover at 4. Best friend and less than a minute from our house.

I wouldn't be keen in your situation though. I think 5 5/6 year olds would be a nightmare - especially if your ds has not been on a sleepover before. does he want to go? I thought I was brave having 4 8 year old girls last birthday party.

exoticfruits · 17/11/2012 10:13

It is 'how long is a piece of string?' some will be fine at 5yrs -others won't be ready at 10yrs.

( I think the host is mad, but that is another story!)

Original poster

ditsyflo · 19/11/2012 21:28

Wow - what a great response! Thanks so much for your input and opinions everyone. We're still not sure but we do know that we will let him go for the evening and, at the very least, have a special late night treat. Then dh or I will go along sometime into the evening with a view to picking him up or letting him stay if all's going well. Really don't want to spoil his fun (or anyone else's) but have to keep reminding myself that ds has never slept away from home on his own. No family nearby for him to have practised on grandparents/cousins!

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Octopus37 · 19/11/2012 21:40

My DS has just had his first sleepover at 5 and a half. It was at one of his friends' houses, who he has known since he was a baby. I have known the Mum that long too so felt comfortable. However, my friend's daughter doesn't feel comfortable about staying at our house as she wants to be with her Mum, no right or wrong IMO they are all so different, go with your instinct.

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