my 3.5 years old boy is lazy at feeding - so we end up spoon feeding - fed up

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we have been spoon feeding since 6 months. he was always fussy and difficult to feed - when he was small we had to use toys to distract, sing songs etc. Now when he goes to nursery and I have a baby - it is difficult to constantly remind him - "eat, eat, eat" - because he will sit for 1 hour and just lazy eating... so we resort to spoon feeding breakfast - as this is most stressful time of the day...what woudl you suggest please? he can eat himself pasta, potato, but soups, runny things we have to feed as it would take too long for him to feed..

How well does he manage at nursery?

Is he using it as attention seeking?

I'd be inclined to leave him to it.

If he doesn't feed himself, he'll be hungry. He'll learn.

3.5 is old enough to feed himself and learn if he doesn't eat he'll be hungry.

No child has ever starved themselves to death at 3.

Maybe a more relaxed approach and no fuss at mealtimes?

Find out how he eats at nursery, is he fed etc?

I don't think you need to be feeding a 3.5 year old, especially one who can feed himself.

I would set a time limit, so say half an hour or and hour, or whatever is convenient. Tell him he will get x amount of time to eat, after that time you take it away.

I think it will be a bit tough at first, he may not eat that much to begin with, but at 3 he won't starve himself to death. I'd recommend introducing it on a morning when you've got some time to spare or at dinner time. Just in case there is a tantrum or it causes a fuss.

It sounds partly habit, partly laziness in that he knows you will feed him and maybe he's not that fussed about food and also partly attention and control. But he won't start feeding himself while you keep doing it.

Blimey - STOP! If he's hungry he'll eat. Agree with Ruby - give him a time limit and after that take it away. Don't make mealtimes a battleground, and you will have to be tough for a bit but it'll be worth it.

Stop the spoon feeding! Let him help himself to a range of foods. He won't go hungry. It doesn't matter he he is not eating runny things, give him toast in the mornings

Agree with clue we'll sometimes feed DS (3) if he specifically asks us to but otherwise he does it himself. Try cinnamon and raisin bagels for breakfast or a smoothy or dry cereal (DS prefers cheerios dry to with milk) or crackers but just let him get on with the food in front of him.

Stop spoon feeding him, you're perpetuating the problem as he knows that if he's stubborn enough you'll do it eventually. It might take a day or two of noise but when he's hungry enough he'll start eating himself.

I have a 3.1 yo who doesn't eat much in the morning, no bother, she just has a fairly substantial snack later in the morning.

She prefers dry cereal too.

Definitely stop spoon feeding altogether. I know breakfast is stressful because you don't want to send him to nursery on a empty stomach, but honestly, he'll survive. Or maybe experiment with different things to find something he will eat.

Re the dry cereal, mine wouldn't eat cereal with milk on till they were four. No bother, they had a bus of milk and had their cereal dry. Have you tried the dry cereal, sounds like quite a few people found their children preferred it

I think you need tonget out of the "feeding" mindset- a 3 year old isn't "lazy at feeding". He may be a slow eater, thought. Put a time limit on meals, when the time is up, cheerfully clear the table without comment.

I still eat dry cereal.

thank you. I will try - when you said to put a range of foods - does it mean to ask him in the morning what he would prefer?

Maybe just 2 options?

Like a toasted teacake or crumpet?

Banana and a handful of Cheerios (dry) or jam on toast

Scotch pancake or chopped fruit

No, just put a couple things you know if likes and let him help himself -things he can eat by himself

I wouldn't give any choice at all- just something you know he likes. And something he can take with him if he hasn't finished when you have to leave. Nothing wrong with finishing your breakfast int he car or the pushchair!

I really wouldn't spoon feed at that age - seems like a weapon in his hands iykwim

How did it go today op?