Sex when you have a newborn...how?

[Aworryingtrend]

I had DC1 a week ago. I had ELCS and feel great- I suspect I am in the early days euphoric state helped by him sleeping for most of the day and I am well aware it wnnt last! DH and I are feeling closer than ever and I would like us to resume a sex life again soon, even if it isnt 'all the way' just yet.

But how when DC is in our room? Do you leave them alone somewhere (obviously safe in moses basket!) whilst you do stuff- but then how can you relax?! Or do it with them in the room and risk scarring them for life/prison?! (am being tongue in cheek but you know what I mean

What do people do? Its the one question i dont feel comfortable asking the midwife despite me badgering her with a million other questions!

TIA

Wait until baby is asleep. Do it quietly. Pretty simple really.

I waited until my 6 week check after my sections, it wasn't worth the risk.

If their in a moses basket in the same room it's fine IMO.

Do it with them in the room

Some people do it with their babies in the bed!

I got flamed for thinking that was a little strange !

Wait till the baby is asleep. You are not risking scarring them for life! It'll be fine.

I would also wait till 6 weeks for penetrative sex though.

With DD the midwife "advised me" to try sex just before the 6 week check so that I would know by then if there were any problems! But I had no internal exam anyway!

I sometimes wonder about those couples all over the world who share two-roomed huts with their 9 children... there can't be much privacy for conceiving the later ones!

I don't see how loving sex between parents could possibly scar a tiny baby for life They certainly won't remember the details.

We usually start again with proper sex after about five weeks (I get a miniPill prescription from the doc when she does the 5-day check on the baby) but there are other things you can do before that.

And yes, with the baby in the room or even in the bed (assuming there's no danger of them falling off the other side). They're completely unaware - from their point of view it's very little different from having sex while they're inside.

Agree with the others but if it really freaks you out you might find that the baby sometimes sleeps in another room during the day anyway (in the car seat / buggy / bouncy chair). It will be fairly obvious when they reach an age when it's just TOO weird anyway!

Thanks all. Last night we did 'other things' whilst he was asleep so am feeling very today!

I should clarify that the 'he' who was asleep was DS, not DH!

Blimey. I'm amazed at how many people are even vaguely interested in sex within the first YEAR tbh!

I had emcs and was sore as hell for weeks.

Sex when you have a newborn.

Isn't that an oxymoron?

Quietly and quickly (and quite infrequently) was how we had sex with a newborn.

we used to nip out to the hall/bathroom/sitting room/kitchen

hahaha - DS1 was at least six months old before anything happened in that department!

Higgs I'm with you on this one. I cannot imagine how anyone can be in the mood because of the sleep deprivation! I'm amazed people actually have 'accidents' after just having their first child - how do they have the energy?!

Yes I agree with several other posters here. The question shouldn't be 'how?', but 'WHY?'

I found we had more sex in the first 2 maybe 3 months than recently at 12 to 18 months because she had lots if regular naps and we had lots of time together but now both back at work and she doesn't sleep well so more tired now!

My midwife said no penetrative sex for at least 2 weeks after my CS and not until my bleeding stopped.

It actually didn't stop for a month and we had sex shortly after while baby was taking a rare nap.

I have to say I actually found it really painful so we didn't reattempt for around another month after that plus we're just too exhausted now!

There is a risk of infection - using condoms or not - before 6 weeks so my midwife told me when I had my elective section so you should wait till then.

I found I felt rampant the first week and now 4 months in the strains of looking after dc2 (dd is 9 years old so ds is my second) have turned me off sex for life!!! :)

Well not quite but near enough !

Sex when the baby sleeps. Just take your chances... !