Advise on how to deal with DS's best friend's mum

[Emily1974]

Hi everyone,

I've got a friend who have a bright and gifted child in everything (thats what she told me anyway), her son is best friend of my son so we talk at school gates and occasional playdates. I find it increasingly difficult to deal with her constant show offs of her son. She basically try to say his son is good and natural at EVERYTHING and he can do everything better than both of my children (I've got a daughter who is one year older than them). My son always have co-ordination problems, he is not the fastest learner but he is kind and sweet and I am proud of him. I feel really sad for him as it is not helping with his confidence listening to these and I feel quite fed up to listening to this every single time we talk to be honest.

Do you have friends like this? How do you deal with it without being rude?

She sounds really insecure! Why else would she need all the attention and why would she boast so much? If you can, feel sorry for her, irritating as she is. I have also found a talent for my child so shite that such people won't know how to respond- eg "Baby Seuss? Oh yes, she eats anything, catfood, bits out of the hoover, she's so versatile. And she's a champion pooer, can shit for Britain, that child. Fills nappies like there's no tomorrow. Her first full sentence? Bollocks, buggery and fuck, I think it was."

Her kid probably is thick as shit and she's trying to over compensate. Bet your kids are happier even if they don't attend Mozart Appreciation and Cantonese for Toddlers!

What sort of things does she say? Can you give us an example?

You could ask her if there's something she's worried about. It might just draw her attention to how often she talks about him. Or she may just be a really poor conversationalist and literally not know what to talk about. You could try diverting the conversation every time it comes round to her DS. Bring up something in the news, or ask what books she's reading at the moment. Just change the conversation. She'll probably get the message.

Thanks for all you replies Infact, I think I am the one who is a poor conversationalist, may be she tries to strike up conversations ended up boasting all the time?

She would ask how DS is getting on with things like school work, swimming etc (she knows DS is behind in many areas), in response to what I've said, she would tell me how much better her son is doing and everything is natural to him, it just goes on and on...

I guess I must learn not to be bothered by what she says and keep reassure DS that he is not rubbish at everything!

If she asks how your DS is getting on, just say "he is doing fantasically, I am so proud of him, he tries really hard" and then swiftly change the subject. As long as your DS hears that you think he is doing well, then he wont be bothered by her boasting/comparisons.

I wouldn't bother with her any more than I really had to. She doesn't sound like much of a friend. Be civil but don't initiate conversations etc if you can avoid without rudeness.

I have an acquaintance a bit like that - except it's not how great her kids are, it's how great and popular she is. I think actually she has really low self-esteem.

Agree with IWillOnlyEatBeans approach

or

'well i'm sure he's not doing as well as your Billy' and smile sweetly, every time she asks about your ds doing something

Very bad that she does this in front of the kids.

It's funny how people present themselves to others as nice person but you know they are not when you have to involve with them. She is now blanking me because she failed to believe my child dislike going to football! (His son was going to show my son how to do football) She thinks I dont take him there because I can't be bothered (My kids already doing 3 after school activities mon-fri, a day for playdate on top) or whatever reasons she might think (my son does hate matches as he usually lose due to his co-ordination problems).

I dont know whether I should confront or leave it as she seems to have difficult to believe every child is different and how little time we have left during the week. :(